Category Archives: Funny Jokes

Funny Jokes / Short, Stupid, Love and English Jokes SMS

Of loving beauty you float with grace

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
...

Ive no girlfriend girl friend girl

I've No Girlfriend



I've No Girl friend


I've No GirL Friend


I've No GirL Friend


Tum aPnay wA|i kA Number dE Do


Poori Das Ho jAin gI

+92 300 2711 588

~ Tum Bin ~...

There was a couple who had two

There was a couple who had two daughters.. Both were beautiful girls.. The couple didnt have a son.. They wanted 2 try onelast tym..! nine months later...! The father remarked "what an ugly baby". He asked his wife , "r u cheating on me?". The wife smiled and said "Not this tym dear...............

I saw your face as you walked

I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy
...

Amazing truth when your mom decides


Amazing truth : When your mom decides to be in your room while you are on the computer.. . You just switch to GOOGLE and stare at it..!! :P :D ;-)...

People say you only fall in love

People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in love all over again...

Breaking news latest most important aham tareen

Breaking news
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Latest news
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Most important
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Aham-Tareen
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Taza-tareen
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Dont worry. Ye sab to channel ki viewership badhane k tareke hai...

No matter how high the sky is

No matter how high the sky is,
How deep the ocean is,
How strong the wind is,
How wide the river is,
I just want to tell YOU

They're none of YOUR BUSINESS!...

When you have done wrong and are

When you have done wrong and you are in trouble, go to your parents for a Sound Advice,
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U'll get,
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99% Sound 1% Advice... ;-P...

A fact a girl will

A Fact :

"A Girl Will Always Forgive And Forget

But

She Will Never Let You Forget That She Had
Forgiven And Forgotton.. :D...

Laysolays dear lays chips you

|Lays'O'Lays|

Dear Lays Chips ,
You forgot to include One thing under The Ingredients
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Air =D...

Ek shaks gussy me police station gya

Ek shaks gussy me police station gya aur bolaa...

Meri complain note kro mje dhamki wale letter mil rahe hain

Inspector : ap ko ksi pe shak hai?

Wo shaks bola shak nahi mje yakeen hai k ye lette income tax wale bej rahe hain.
...

Class rooms r like train 1st

Class Rooms R Like Train

1st 2 Bench R Executive Coaches

Reserved For VIP

Middle 2 R General Compartment

N Last 2 R Sleeper Class. . !!...

Some times small things in life hurt

Some times small things in life hurt a lot... If u dont agree with me.. then... . . .try to sit on a pin !! ...

The biggest seller is cook books n

The Biggest Seller Is
Cook-Books
N
The Second Is
Diet-Books -
...
How Not To Eat What
You've Just Learned To Cook... =P ;) ...

A teenage girl had been talking on

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," SAID her FATHER, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the GIRL... ;->...

We have solution for all the problems

We Have Solution For all The Problems :D
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.:.
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.Wen They R Not Ours ;)...

Who is a psychiatrist qualified

Who Is A Psychiatrist ?

A Qualified Person
Who Gives You An Expensive,
Critical Analysis About Yourself,
...Which Your Friends Give You
"Free" Of Cost Daily ! =D =D ...

Definition of laziness itz

Definition Of Laziness :-


-:- iT'z A tElEnT oF tAlKiNg ReSt BeFoRe YoU gEt TiRed -:-...

Beauty is not how you look it

Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
...

U can control ur breath but not

U can control ur Breath but not Death

U can control ur Life but not ur Wife

U can control ur emotions but not
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LOOSE MOTION. . . ;->...

3 guys were introduced to a girl

3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I?m Peter, not a saint. I?m Paul not a POPE. I?m John not a Baptist. The girl replied. Hi... I?m Mary, not a VIRGIN.

...

I used facebook for a few days

I Used Facebook For
A Few Days And Got
Addicted To It..

But I Am Studying Since I Was 4..
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..

Why The Hell I Am Not Getting Addicted To
It =P...

If animals had facebook these aremost likely

IF ANIMALS HAD Facebook, THESE ARE
MOST LIKELY TO BE THEIR STATUS
UPDATES:
COCKROACH: "My Friends pls help me to
thank God!just found out Mortein na
Bodyspray...didn't kill me.. Just made me
smell good!
CHICKEN: If tomorrow I'm not updating
my status, it means am being served at
'MR BIGGS'... Love U all!
PIG: Ohh gosh! They throw gossip that
I'm spreading flu...wtf!
DOG: I hate calabar people!
COW: My calf wants to suck now but the
farmer has taken all the milk in the
morning
RAT: The owner of the house just
bought a cat, we dey pack comot 2moro.
GOAT: friends... thank God 4 me ooo.a
car almost hit me now now...chai!i wud
hav died like fowl...
FOWL's comment on Goat status: i thank
God 4 u ooo...dnt mind those yeye
humans... dats hw they drive like goat.
Haaaa laff wan tear my belle Oo

Only two types of communications are fastest

Only two types of Communications are fastest in the world...
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E-mail to email
&
Female to female...:-):-D
...

Doctor implants a new ear 2 man

Doctor implants a New Ear 2 a man.
man:"U idiot,U gave me a woman's ear"
Doc: It makes no difference
MAN: "It does,Now I hear everything but understand nothing"...

A man received d phone from

A man received d phone
from emergency room of hospital

Doctor: Your wife was in a fatal car
accident & I've bad n good news.
The bad news is,
She has lost both arms n legs n
will b on a respirator d rest of her life.

Man: 0h my God, whats the good
news?

Doctor: I'm kidding, She is Dead... =P =D ...

Students vs teacherz when we r

"StuDenTs Vs TeAcHeRz"..
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WheN We R iN CLass, We R 'StuDenTs',
WheN They R iN CLass, They R 'ScHoLaRs'

WheN We CoRecT Our WriTinG, iTs 'OveRwriTTinG', WheN They CoRecT TheiR, iTs 'CoRRecTioN'

WheN We CoPy FroM OtheRz, We R 'CheaTeRs', WheN They CoPy, They R 'QuoTes'

WheN We JoKe iN CLass, We R 'JoKeRs', WheN They JoKe, They R 'WiTTy'

WheN We Don'T Do Our WorK On TiMe, We R 'SLuGGisH,'
WheN They Don'T Do, They R 'BuSy'
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KyA Ye KhuLa TAZAAD Nhi?...

This is quottop secretquot and bottom

This is "Top Secret"
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And
This is Bottom Secret ;->...

Whats 0n your mind you ask


Whats 0n Your Mind
You Ask?

Well, Facebook...
I Would Tell You
...
But

Youre Terrible At Keeping
Secrets ... ! =P ;)
...

3 unforgettable things in our life

3 Unforgettable Things In Our Life....

1-Breakfast
2-Lunch
3-Dinner

No Need To Be Emotional.......

Difference between rain in pakistan and dubai

Difference Between Rain In PAKISTAN And DUBAI

In Dubai After Rain, Water Disappears In 5 Mins
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.
In Pakistan After Rain, The Road Disappears In 5 Mins...!
:-)...

Facebook paper q1 define add

FACEBOOK PAPER

Q1 . Define add as friend ?

Q2 . What does status means ?
...
Q3 . What do u mean by poke ?

Q4 . Give two reasons for liking the girls comments ?

Q5 . What is pic tag ?

Q6 . What is inbox msg ?

Q7 . Give details of info ?

Q8 . Draw a profile pic ?

Q9 . What is page ? And why we prmote it . Give reasons ?

Q10 . Define comments on post ?...

Find the most suotable place 4 this

Find The Most Suotable Place
4 This Note









"Come Like Horse..
Sit Like Thief...
Go Like King.... "




Nahi Pata... ????








Oki I'|| Te|| U








It'S





"TOILET"...... ;->...

Gal do u have any sentimental love

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them
...

M0st irritating and ann0ying m0ment youre

M0st irritating and ann0ying m0ment:



You're getting bored and n0 messages, n0t even a single text! Suddenly your cell rings, you rush t0wards it to watch who finally texted!
You pick your cell with excitement and see a text from..




Ur Cellular network company:D

<('.')
/"/> tXt
_/"_K죣

Hotho se jo choo liya ehsaas aab

Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur kyo na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirchi...'-hai... ...

If i need brain transplantation ill prefer

If i need brain transplantation i'll prefer ur brain, Dont think u r genious i just want a brain which is never used before.. ...

Hi need 1 girl 2 marry

Hi' Need 1 girl 2 marry . . .
Age no bar,
Color no bar,
Height no bar,
Caste no bar,
But girl's father must hv his own bar.-. Cheers....

Chosing career is like chosing wife from

Chosing career is like chosing wife from 10 Girl friends,
Even if u pick most beautiful, most intelligent, kindest woman, there's still pain of losing 9....

Life before computer window was a

life before computer
-
-
-
Window was a square hole in a room
Application was somethong written in paper
Mouse was an animal
Keyboaed was a piano
File was an important office material
Hard drive was an uncomfortable road trip
Cut was done with knife and paste with glue.
Web was a spider's home....
But now......
...

Funny ultimate truths 1 whenever

FUNNY ULTIMATE TRUTHS :

1.
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.

2.
The road to success is always under construction ;-)

3.
In order to get a loan,
you first need to prove that you don't need it :-P

4.
All the desireable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married :-P

5.
Once you have bought something,
you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate :-D

Enjoy life ! :-)...

Fantastic answer for why didnt u

Fantastic answer for , Why didn't u receive my Call?
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I was dancing at my Ringtone...:p...

The reason why most of the men

The reason why most of the men prefer to KISS women's lips..
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Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman's mouth for atleast sum seconds ;...

First the engagement ring then wedding suffering

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering



...

A boy sees beautiful girl sitting


A Boy Sees A Beautiful
Girl Sitting Right Next To Him
& Writes In A Paper
"I Love You, Do You Love Me?"
And Passes D Paper To Her.
...
She Replies: "NO"

He Didn't Give Up.
He Rubbed Her Answer
And Passed It To Another Girl
And She Replied: "YES"

Moral Of D Story Definitely Not
What You Think..

It's
.

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.

.

"Save Earth, Recycle Paper !" =P =D ...

Boss ek accha mirror leke avao jisme

Boss-Ek Accha Mirror Leke Avao Jisme

Muje Mera Chehra Dikaye De

Sardar-Boss Mai Sab Dukan Gaya Per Sabme

Mere Hi Chehra Dikha

Apka Chehra Diknewala Nhi Mila
...

How should a teacher be


How should a TEACHER be ? -.- <3

-Should be Absent at least 3 times a week

-Should come in class 10mins late and left the class 10 mins earlier

-Should not give any homework and assignments

-Should not ask any questions to students

-Should not disturb the students by teaching while they are talking

...

If a cute n handsum girl says

If a cute n Handsum girl says 2 u "I LUV U"
Do Any Of 3 Thngs..

1.Take him 2 d Eye specialist.
2.Take Him 2 a Mental Hospital.
3.Tell Him m not "Sohail Imran ";-)...

Guess the minimum area with maximum

Guess

The Minimum Area
With Maximum Number
0f Colour Paints. . . ? ? ?

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GIRLS FACE . . . =P =D ...

tragedies of girls life 1

-=- TRAGEDIES OF
GIRLS LIFE -=-

1- Good Boys r Not
Good Looking =P
...
2- Good Looking Boys
r Not Good Boys =D

3- Good Looking n Good
Boys r Not Single =S

4- Good Looking, Good
n Single Boys Have
Hitler Mothers ... =...

There is one thing that both

There Is One Thing That

Both Drunks And Geographers Agrees Upon ...

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The Earth Spins Round And Round ... ;->...

Doctor u lk exactly like my third

Doctor: U l??k exactly like my third wife..!

Lady: How many wivez do u have???


Doc: Two...!


Moral: Express smart ideas
"Smarty' ;)...

Height of insult d guide i

Height of Insult :-D

Guide: I welcome you all to Niagra falls. This is the world's largest waterfall & the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard!


Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra Falls..........

A modern artist is the one who

A modern artist is the one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells that cloth......

A very rich man went to a

A very rich man went to a village with his son to show him HOW POOR PEOPLE can be lived..?

On return
Father asked "WHAT DID U LEARN..?"

Son replied
"We've no cattles but They've 4.."

"We've a swiming pool which is quite big but
They've A LAKE & ITS END CAN'T BE FOUND.."

Our garden has imported lamps but They've A SKY FULL OF STARS

"Our courtyard ends after few yards but they've THE WHOLE WORLD AHEAD 2 PLAY

THANKS DADY FOR SHOWING ME HOW POOR WE ARE...

Ek chota bacha bohat dair se ro

Ek Chota Bacha Bohat Dair Se Ro Raha Tha.
Uski Maa Ne Pocha
Mele Laal Ko Ka Chahiye?
Tofee
Bishkit
Ya
Doodh..?

Bacha:
Bash Ek Nai GIRLFLEND
Khubsurat Shi :->




...

Height of good luck teacher hey

Height of Good Luck....!...

Teacher: Hey! Stand up. Tell me two pronouns.
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Student: Who? Me?

Teacher: Very good.....Sit down :D
...

A touching story 1 day

A Touching Story... ! ! !

1 day the mosquito got excited & gave a love bite to the dog
The dog became emotional & returnd the love bite to the mosquito. . .

The next day. . .

Mosquito died of Rabies & Dog died of Malaria. . . .

What a Touching Story. . . ;->
hahahahahahaha...

A private employee was rewarded a bicycle

A Private Employee was rewarded a bicycle by his organisation.It was so beautiful but didnt've a Carrier 8 the back,
He requested 2 get it fixed.When the cycle came back with the Carrier fitted,he noted that now the Stand isnt there.
He asked about the missing Stand.
Organisation: Private Nokri me 1 cheez he possible he.
CAREER ya STAND.
Agr STAND lo gy to CAREER khatam aur agar CAREER banana he to STAND kabhi mat lena.
Dedicated 2 all Private Employees.
...

Raabert boss mere dono bachon ke liye

Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakho Peter

A grammar freak girl to her boyfriend

A grammar freak girl to her boyfriend

" You are as useless as.
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..

''AY'' in ''OKAY'' :P
...

In a bar man attend da call

In a bar, a man attend da call of a ringing mobile.
Man: Hello!
Wife: Darling shall I buy 1 diamond ring?
Man: Sure honey!
Wife: Shall I use your credit card for Crystal pendant?
Man: Ok dear!
Friends: Great to see that you love her so much!
Man: Hmm! By the way, whose mobile is this?!?...

A banner come sign board in front

A Banner Come Sign Board In Front Of An IT Company . . .

Drive Slowly, Don?t Kill Our Employee?s . . . . Leave Them To Us :p
...

3 animals broke in2 the house wen

3 animals broke in2 the house, wen cops came ,they found da mouse watchn TV,da pig in the kitchen and da stupind donkey was found reading ths sms....

A picture can describe thousand words


A Picture Can Describe
Thousand Words ....!
But
With The Help 0f
Photo-shop
...It Can Tell Thousand Lies... ! =P =D ...

The true lines on the t shirt of


The true lines on the T-shirt of an employee:

"I work only for MONEY. If you want loyalty, Hire a DOG."
...

A mobile is like a woman talks


A mobile is like a woman- talks non-stop,costs a fortune,disturbs when u r busy n when u need it urgently-there is no service ...

What do u call a laughing motorcycle

What Do U Call A Laughing MotorCycle. . . ???
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Guess Karo
Ez Hai
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Nahi Pata
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It's Yamahahahaha. . . ;->...

Girls psychology fraud with innocent boys

Girls Psychology !!! Fraud with Innocent Boys Fun with Handsome Boys Friendship with Charming Boys Contact with Intelligent Boys Flirt with Freaky Boys Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy Moral of the story : Chandramukhi ho yaa Paaro, Sab Ek jaisi hai Yaaro

Fadi
0345 5888477...

Fairyto a 62 year old couple i

Fairy(to a 62 year old couple): I will grant you each a wish.

Wife: I want to travel around the world with my husband.

The fairy waved her magic wand & 'POOF'

Two tickets appeared in her hands.

Husband: I wish to have a wife 30 years younger to me.

The fairy waved her magic wand & 'POOF'

The husband became 92 years old.

Moral:
Men who are ungrateful idiots should remember that fairies are females....

A small but very meaningful thought

A Small But Very Meaningful
Thought . . .

"Nothing Is Interesting In
L I F E . . . .

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If YOU Are NOT Interested...!!!" =]...

U r the one who is charming

U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS...

The first law of philosophy for every

The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.
The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong....

Scientists have proved that 2904583181 people on

Scientists have proved that
2904583181 people on the earth
are lazy,,,
Because,,
..
..
They did not even read this
number.. :P ;-) :-x
Thumbs up if you haven't read
the number :P...

Employee i want a raise in my

Employee: I want a raise in my salary, I am in demand and have two companies running after me!
Boss: Oh! I am really impressed but which companies are they?
Employee slowly: The electric and the telephone company!!...

Class room is like a train

Class Room is Like a Train
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1st Two Benches r Reserved For VIP . .

Nxt Two Benches r General coach
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Then
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Last Two Benches r Vry Demanded.
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Bcz Its."SLEEPER COACH" :P :D...

Five benefit of kiss 1changes taste

five benefit of kiss



1.changes taste


2.burn calories


3.lips never got dried


4.makes face muscles strong

5.RELIEVES STRESS


so keep kissing ...

Good unerdtsanding btewene ecah ohter is rael

Good Unerdtsanding Btewene Ecah Ohter Is Rael FierndSihp! Eevn If We Hvae So Mnay MsiUnerdsantndig Lkie Tish Msseaeg, Btu i Konw U Cna Raed WtihOtu Msitkae!

...

Daddy can ive another glass of water

Daddy
Can I've Another Glass Of Water, Plz? Ask Jhony

But Tht's 10th One I've Given U 2nite. Daddy Says

Jhony: Yes But d Baby's Bedroom Is Stil On Fire. =P ;)...

The pain of losing a loved one

The pain of losing a Loved one is nothing when compared to the pain that is felt when
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Biscuit falls into Tea due to over dipping:-S...

Little johnny mamwill you punish me

Little Johnny : Mam,Will you punish me for something that I didn't do??

In a train ticket checker to saint

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don't have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail...

Question define a boss ans an

Question: Define a boss?

Ans: An idiot who thinks that nine women can produce a child in one month . . . . .
...

Good news a new way 2 send

Good News
A New Way 2 Send
Romantic Kiss
2 Ur Girl Friend
Just Call Or Sms Me
&
Order Ur Kiss
With Adress
I'|| Personally
Go
&
De|iverd

SwEeT kIsS SeRvIcEs PvT LtD..... ;->...

The best place to breakup with

The Best Place To
Breakup With Your
Girl Friend Is In McDonald

There Are Sharp
Knives & Forks 0r
Heavy Plates
&
You Can Always Hide Behind
A Fat Kid ... =P =D ...

Very cute gorgeous genious goodlooking intellegent one

VERY... Cute, Gorgeous, Genious, Goodlooking, Intellegent, One in Trillions...I think its enuff abt ME,wht abt U....
...

Find the most suotable place 4 this

Find The Most Suotable Place
4 This Note









"Come Like Horse..
Sit Like Thief...
Go Like King.... "




Nahi Pata... ????








Oki I'|| Te|| U








It'S





"TOILET"...... ;->...

The phone bill was exceptionally high

The phone bill was exceptionally high..
Man called a family meeting on saturday to discuss..
Dad- this is unacceptable. I don't use this phone, i only use my work phone..
Mum.. Me too. I hardly ever use this phone..
Son- i use my office mobile i never use the home phone..
All of them are shocked n together look at the maid who's patiently listening to them..
Maid- wat?
So v all use our work phones.. Not a Big deal...! =P ;->...

Definition for human being a creature

Definition for Human being:

A creature that cuts trees

,makes papers and writes
"SAVE TREES"
on it..!!!
Funny people.....!!!!!!...

A little kid walks into a city

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I would be a little bull."

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!"

The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver..! ;->
...

If your teacher puts 2x 5×2

If Your Teacher Puts
2x + 5x2 / -8 + 21
0n The Board
And
Tells You To
"Solve The Problem"

Get Up n Erase The Board
Problem Solved ... :p=D...

Do u know the fullform of college

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally......
Thats why boys go to college...

It was happening in a hospital that


It was Happening In a Hospital that ICU Patients Died in Same Bed Every Sunday at 11 AM.

Dr. Thought it is Something Super Natural...

Worldwide Xpert Team was formed to investigate the Cause... Next Sunday,few mint b4 11 AM,all Dr. & nurses stand around that Bed & start waiting 2 c what it was? Then suddenly a Sardar (Part time Sunday Sweeper) entered the ICU, unpluged the Life support system of that Bed & pluged in his Mobile Charger...:-D

<('.')
/"/> tXt
_/"_K죣

Dear face wash commercials nobody can splash

Dear Face-wash Commercials,
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Nobody can splash water on
their face the way you show
in your ads.
My clothes r all wet now. =P
Kindly show in a more
realistic way =D...

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'
The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea...He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop...It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE!'...

No 1 can ever b satisfied wid

No 1 Can Ever B Satisfied Wid 3 Things In Life. . . .

1 . Mobile

2 . AutoMobile

3 . Girl Friend

B'cuz There's Always A Better Model Available In Future. ;->...

Imagine urself in a boat which

Imagine

urself in a boat

which is sinking

sharks all around u

wat can u do 2 save urself?





very simple




stop IMAGINING...

Mom always said money doesnt grow

MOM ALWAYS SAID...

"Money Doesn't Grow On Trees"

Mom!!!! money is made from
paper & paper comes from trees.

Therefore your argument is
invalid...