Category: Humorous Quotes SMS

Humorous Quotes SMS

Humorous Quotes SMS

If all else fails immortality can always

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.  ~John Kenneth Galbraith,…

Humorous Quotes SMS

I plan on living forever so far

I plan on living forever.  So far, so good.  ~Author Unknown

Humorous Quotes SMS

The only thing that stops god from

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one…

Humorous Quotes SMS

You know why the french dont want

You know why the French don’t want to bomb Saddam Hussein?  Because he hates America,…

Humorous Quotes SMS

The ships hung in the sky much

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.  ~Douglas…

Humorous Quotes SMS

And on the eighth day god said

And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you’re in charge!"  ~Author Unknown

Humorous Quotes SMS

Maybe this world is another planets hell

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.  ~Aldous Huxley

Humorous Quotes SMS

Protect me from knowing what i dont

Protect me from knowing what I don’t need to know.  Protect me from even knowing…

Humorous Quotes SMS

Love your enemies it makes them so

Love your enemies.  It makes them so damned mad.  ~P.D. EastCUL

Humorous Quotes SMS

The large print giveth but the small

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.  ~Tom Waits, Small Change

Humorous Quotes SMS

If you cannot answer a mans argument

If you cannot answer a man’s argument, all it not lost; you can still call…

Humorous Quotes SMS

Say what you will about the ten

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the…

Humorous Quotes SMS

The universe is merely a fleeting idea

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought,…

Humorous Quotes SMS

Can we actually 34know34 the universe my

Can we actually "know" the universe?  My God, it’s hard enough finding your way around…

Humorous Quotes SMS

Its always darkest before the dawn so

It’s always darkest before the dawn.  So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper,…

Humorous Quotes SMS

If you teach your children nothing else

If you teach your children nothing else, teach them the Golden Rule and "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey." …

Humorous Quotes SMS

Anybody can win unless there happens to

Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.  ~George AdePCR

Humorous Quotes SMS

Just because youre not paranoid doesnt mean

Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.  ~Colin Sautar

Humorous Quotes SMS

When somebody tells you nothing is impossible

When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.  ~Author Unknown

Humorous Quotes SMS

You know the world is going crazy

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy,…

Humorous Quotes SMS

A prisoner of war is a man

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and…

Humorous Quotes SMS

Before you criticize someone should walk a

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when…

Humorous Quotes SMS

Today is the last day of some

Today is the last day of some of your life.  ~Author Unknown

Humorous Quotes SMS

Lead me not into temptation i can

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.  ~Rita Mae Brown

Humorous Quotes SMS

All my life ive wanted just once

All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train…

Humorous Quotes SMS

The early bird gets the worm but

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.  ~Author Unknown

Humorous Quotes SMS

There are truths of which i have

There are truths of which I have an inkling, but of most I have only…

Humorous Quotes SMS

She was what we used to call

She was what we used to call a suicide blond – dyed by her own…

Humorous Quotes SMS

If the phone doesnt ring its me

If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me.  ~Song title by Jimmy Buffet

Humorous Quotes SMS

A conclusion is the place where you

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.  ~Attributed to Arthur McBride…

Humorous Quotes SMS

After all what is your hosts purpose

After all, what is your host’s purpose in having a party?  Surely not for you…

Humorous Quotes SMS

I used to eat a lot of

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people…

Humorous Quotes SMS

All generalizations are bad rh grenier

All generalizations are bad.  ~R.H. Grenier

Humorous Quotes SMS

I usually lump organized religion labor and

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points…

Humorous Quotes SMS

Duct tape is like the force it

Duct tape is like the force.  It has a light side, a dark side, and…