Joke SMS / text messages

Munna bhai. A cercuit MURGA & MURGI me diffrence kaise samajhne ka? Cercuit. Simple hai bhai,Ek patthar marne ka BHAGA to MURGA or BHAGI to MURGI…

Bhakt: Hey bagwan mujhe dard de, mere piche bhut laga de, tension de, mujhe barbaad kar de, dukh de.
Bhagwan: Abey ek line mein bol tuhje BIWI chahiye.

Teri aawaz sunne ko jab hum taras jate hai,
Toh hum ghise pite C.D. zabardasti chala lete hai.

anta- Raat muje ek aadmi ne chaku dikhakar loot liya. Friend- Lekin tere paasto hamesha gun hoti hai. santa – wo meine chupa di thi, varna wo bhi chori ho jati…

Man to Hotel Manager : Jaldi Chalo, Meri Wife Khirki se kudh kar jaan dena chahti hai.
Manager : So .. Sir What can I Do?
Man : Abey Saale ! Khirki nahi khul rahi.

Salesman tension me tha. DEALER-Kya hua? S.MAN-Mai 6 months tour pe tha, biwi Pregnant ho gai DLR-Ab pata chala bina order k maal aye to kaisa lagta hai..

Wife:
Darling Tumhe Pata Hai
Jannat Mein Husband Aur Wife
Ko Ek Saath Nahi Rehne Dete
Husband:
Isi Liye To Usey Jannat
Kehte Hain

Hamari tumhari dosti duniya ke liye ek misal hai
Tumhe dekha toh laga kya maal hai,
Tumhe pane ke liye bichaya jaal hai,
Par kya kare ye college ka hamara aakhri saal hai.

Jab hum jiya karenge, apko yaad kiya karenge.
Agar hum mar bhi gaye toh kya hoga ??
Daro mat hum yamraj ke mobile se apko SMS kiya karenge

Munna Bahi:
Ari Circuit Boly Tu
Ager Bagair Daantaon Ka Kuta Cat Re Lai
Tu Boly Tu Kya Karny Ka
Circuit:
Very Simple Bahi
Boly Tu Bagair Soi Ke 14 Injection Laga Lai Ne Ka

Son To Sardar : Papa 5+5 Kitne Hote Hein?
Sarar : Ullu Ke Patthe , Gadhe , Idiot , Nalayak , Beshram ..
Tujhe Kuch Nahi Aata
Ja Ander Se Calculator La

Man: Sir, my wife is missing. Postmaster:Ye Post office hai, Police station me complaint dijiye Man: KHUSHI ke maare mein kya karu, kuch samajh mei nahi aata!! Te

Ek aadmi ki wife ka rang kaala thha, ek din vo peeli saree pehenke apne pathi se puchi, main kaisi lag rahi hoon? hus:Jaise koyla ki factory mein aag lagi ho.

Once james bond met a dog in jungle he said, “I am bond.!! JAMES BOND..!!”
The dog bites him & replies, “I am kuttaa..!!!”
“PAGAL KUTTA…!!”

Agar manzil ko pana ho to himmat sath rakhna,
pyar pana hoto aitbaar sath rakhna,
aur agar sada muskurana ho to,
Brush aur Paste sath rakhna.

boy & girl of 5th class asking there teacher: kia bachoon ke bachey hotey hein? teacher replied: nhi. boy to girl: dekha tum aisey hi dar rehi thi.

Girl: Main tere liye sab kuch chhod dungi.
Boy:Maa baap
Girl:Yes
Boy:Bhai behan
Girl:Yes
Boy:Khana peena
Girl:Yes
Boy:Star plus
Girl: Muh sambhal ke baat kar !!

Munabhai-Ye sali govt drinking nd driving sath2 Q nahi karne deti? Circuit-Simple hE bhai.Bhai wo speed breakar aane par gilas gir sakta he.

Uski aankhe toh sagar se bhi gaheri hai,
Uski aankhe toh sagar se bhi gaheri hai,
Main ijhar mohabat kar ke thak gaya,
Tab pat chala sali yeh toh behri hai.

PUNJAB POLICE ka koi jawab nahi, kal 1 BIHARI talab me naha raha tha to ek POLICEwala kehta :- chal oye bahar aa k kapde pahen, teri talashi leni hai…

Wife:Chalo na kahin chalte hai,ghumne car me aur car me drive karungi. Husband:Yadi tum car drive karogi to jayenge car me,ayenge akhbaar me

Do pal ki bhi khushi na mili to kya hua,
Umar bhar gam ke sahare ji lenge,
Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi,
Hum aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge

Advantages of a House Wife:
1. No charges on washing, pressing of clothes, polishing of shoes per week
2. No TIP n Cooking n Serving charges per meal
3. House hold safety n No need for servants per month
Conclusion:
U CAN SAVE UPTO 17-18 THOUSAND EVERY MONTH IF U OCCUPY A PURE HOUSE WIFE