Category: Election 2000 Quotes SMS

Take our politicians:  they’re a bunch of yo-yos.  The presidency is now a cross between a popularity contest and a high school debate, with an encyclopedia of cliches the first prize.  ~Saul Bellow

You’ve got Bush and Gore headed to the Supreme Court.  You’ve got George W. Bush’s intelligence will be pitted against Al Gore’s honesty.  This is more like a case for small claims court.  ~Jay Leno

Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country – and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians.  ~Charles Krauthammer

At the rate we’re going, the Inaugural Ball is going to be a surprise party.  ~Argus Hamilton

He struggles to exude authority.  He furrows his brow, trying to look more sagacious, but he ends up looking as if he has indigestion.  Appearing confused at his own speech, he seems like a first-grade actor in a production of James and the Giant Peach.  Are his blinks Morse code for "Oh, man, don’t let […]

Count ballots, not judges.  ~Author Unknown

Truth is not determined by majority vote.  ~Doug Gwyn

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.  ~Robert Byrne

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.  ~W.C. Fields

Don’t vote, it only encourages them. ~Billy Connolly, An Audience with Billy Connolly, 1985

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?  ~Robert Orben

Don’t blame me.  I voted with the majority.  ~Author Unknown

Which is worse, screwing an intern or screwing the country?  ~Author Unknown

Democracy was getting old anyway.  ~Author Unknown

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct.  ~Thomas Jefferson, letter to Tench Coxe, 21 May 1799, in Writings of Thomas Jefferson, 1896, vol. 7, p.381, MBT p273

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.  ~Jay LenoBTSG

If every vote counts, then count every vote!  ~Author Unknown

One person, one vote.*  (*May not apply in all states.)  ~Author Unknown

The good news is the White House is now giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings.  Some of these jokes actually write themselves.  ~David Letterman

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.  ~Henry Cate

Dick Cheney had a mild heart attack, but they say he’ll soon be able to resume his regular activities.  I thought having heart attacks was his regular activity.  Anyway, since he’s a Republican, the heart isn’t a major organ.  ~Jay Leno