Kisi k marne ki Khabar har kisi ko nai dena chahiyem,

is tarah karne se!

biryani kam par sakti hai.

(zubaida aapa k matlabi totke )

Agr apki khane pine k chizon my mkhi gir jae to

Use nkal kr itna’chbayen’k ksi or mkhi ki jurat na ho apk chizon ki traf dhikhay.

Zubaida apa k ‘EbratNak’totky

Agar aap macharon se pareshan hon aur sone mein takleef hoti ho to. . .

..

To

Macharo k sone k baad soya karen …

(Zubida Aapa k anti malaria totkay) 😀

Main 6-7 Saal Ki Thi

Mujhay Yaad Hai

Jub Pakistan Bana Or

Hum Pakistan Aaye

To Main Ne Brown

Color Ki Faraak Or

Choori Daar Pajama

Pehna Hua Tha Or

Haath Main Kaaju

Thay

Pooray Raastay

Khaatay Huay I Thi

Zulfiqar Mirza tu ne

Ghalat Kaha K

Bhookay Nangay

Aaye Thay

Zubeda Aapa Ka

Latest Bayaan ;

Agar koi larki apko rah chalte bhai keh de tu ghabrane ka nahi,

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Ek thapar laga ke bolo

idhar kiya kar rahi ho.?

Ghar jawo :

Zubaida aapa k ghairat mand totkay.

Agr Koi Apko SMS Ya Miscalls De Kar Tang Kar raha Hy Tu

Uska Number Facebook Par

Larki K Naam Se Likh Den aur Maza Dekhain.

Zubaida Aapa K Chechoray Totke.

‘Masjid k bahir chppal rakhte waqat aik juta 1 konay ma aur 1 juta 1 konay ma raknay se chapal chori nhi hoti’

=ZUBAIDA AAPA k HIFAZTI Totkay

Kya Ap Macharon Se Pareshan Hain! Sone Mein Takleef Hoti Hy??

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To Macharo K Sone K Baad Sojaen! Zubaida Aapa K Nadan Totkay

Ghr me machar ziada hojaen to gaye(cow) ka khusk gober beech kmry me rkh k jlaen.

Machar ye kehty huy bhag jaengy,

Zubaida apa ye tmhare he kamina pan hai.:-)

Zubaida Apa kTotkay

Chahre ki rangat me nikhar aur kel mahason se nijaat me ubtan jesa naqis tareqa tark kren aur sasta aur nehayat moassar tariqa apnaen muhallay ki qarib tar cow se mulaqat karen aur unka umda aur taza khusbodar gobar le k chahre pe malyay phr daikhna apka yh nikhar dunya daikhay gi

Zubaida apa k totkay 😉

Agar rishtedar mein koi larki phasani ho to?

Jab wo kitchen mein jaye to peechay se ja kar uski gardan pakar lo

Agar hans pare to samjho k phans gai

Aur?

Agar gussa kare to shoor macha do

Baji dar gae

Baji dar gae

Zubaida apa k aashiqaana totkay.

Special . . .

2

2

2

2

2

2

2

2

2

2

2

2

SMS

SMSssss. . .

Zubaida Aapa ki sms mobile tone.

Free download k lye

Agly totkey ka wait kren

“BALGHAM” ko dhoop mein sukha kar choti choti goliyan bana k chabaya jaye

to

“DING DONG” bubble gum ki kami puri ho jati hai..!

ZUBAIDA AAPA k bachat walay totkay..!;-)

Agar aap apni hifazat chahtay hain tou….

.?

.?

.?

.?

.?

Apna wazan itna barha len…

K naap ki bori milna mushkil hojaye…!!! :-P:-D;-)

(Zubaida Aapa)

Refrnce:

Dailly jung of 02-01-11 …’APPEAL’…

Taman doston se guzarish hai k Allah k wasty Zubeda Aapa ka mazaq na uraen wo buzurg khatoon hai. ALLAH mazaq uraney walo ka mazaq bana deta hai. Zara sochein koi is tarha hamari Maa ka mazaq uraye to? Allah ap ki Maa, behno ki izzat ki hifazt kare (AMEEN) Khud ko bhi rokein or 2sro ko bhi rokein. Plz fwd 2 all. From,

(Zubeda aapa ka Beta,

Hussain Tariq).

Agr Aap k bachy Ziyada Matti Khaty hen to.

To Unhen thori Cement bhi Khila den

Bunyad Pakki ho jayegi.

Zubeda Aapa k Bunyadi totky.

ager ap ki morgi roz ek anda de rahi hon tu

ap sobha oth kar us k samne choriya tezz karen

wo 1 anda dene k bajae 2 ande dena shoro ho jae gi

ZUBEDA APA K GAND PHAR TOTKE

Agar apke daant main deera lag jaye to 1, 2 haftay tak kuch mat khayen piyen.

Keera andar he bhuka mar jaye ga….

(Zubaida apa k jan lewa totkey)

Wo bhut buland tha hamari socho se,

us ne 3 saal ki umar me kamil 3 ghante 1 arabi faseeh buzurg se guftgoo ki,

Us ne 4 sal ki umar men quran khatam kr lia tha,

Us ne 6 sal ki umar men 90 mint ki taqrer ki thi,

8 sal ki umar men nahv ki kitab ‘hidayat ul nahv’ki arbi men sharh likhi

Jis ne 13 sal 4 mah 10 din ki umar me pehla mushkil fatwa likha aur walid se inam paya,

Jo 55 uloom ka mahir tha,

jo 1000 se zaid kutub ka musannif tha,

Jis ne bemari k alam men aik mahir riazi dan kay mushkil masale ka jawab dia,

Jis zaban men masala pocha jata wo usi zuban men jawab detey.

Ala Hazrat Imam Ahmad Raza Khan Fazil e Bareili Hein.

agr ap ko koi larki bahi khy to us ko ek chamat maro or kho k gar jao yahan q mary izat khrab kr rhy ha!!!!!!!!

zubaida appa ka university k zamany waly totkay!!!

Me bahar nahi jaongi,

Muje dar lagta ha PaPa…

wah Wah…

Me bahr nai jaongi,

Muje dar lagta hai PaPa…

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Gali mein Baal kholay khari hain

Zubaida AaPa:)

Jo log garam pani main CEMENT daal k nahate hain.

Woh log kabhi toot k Bikhra nahi karte.

‘Zubeda Aapa k Civil Engineering Totky’…..;-)

Apne Ghar ka sara kachra subh hone se pehly

parosio k ghar k pas thora thora dal dia jay to ap ka dustbin saf rahe ga.

Zuabaida Aapa k jhgralu totkay:-)

Sardiyon mey skin kushk hojye to pani mey haldi aur milk powdr dal k ubal lain Thanda hojye to ek chamch dahi aur makhn dal k paste bna lain phir es mixture ko phEnk dain

Aur mou pe c0ld CrEam laga lain

Zubaida Aapa k ChakkarBaz Totkay.

Meharbani Kr k Is Msg Ko Itna 4wrd Karein K

Zubaidah Aapa tak Pohanch Jaye

“Aapa” Ammi Keh rahi hain Ufone k signal nahi Aa rahe koi totka bata de.

Agar aap apne room k har door or window par aik pyaali apne Khoon ki rakh den

tou Dengi machar pyali se khoon choos kar waapis chala jaaega jis se aap dengi machar se bachay rahenge,,,

(Zubaida aapa ka extreme Dengi Totka) 😉

Agr ap k khane pine k chizon me Makhi gir jae to

Use nikal kr itna’Chubayen’k ksi or mkhi ki jrrat naho ap ki chiz0n ki trf ane ki

Zubaida apa k

EbratNak totke

gr m0bile ki battery low ho or aap ko zar0ori call krni ho toh..

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phle m0bile charge krlo,

aab zubaida aapa enginner thori naa hain jo iss cheez ka bhi totka btaen gii!

Aakhir Kia Masla Hy

Tum Logo’n k Saath

Har Waqt Tumhe’n Totke

Batati Raho’n

Faltu Samjha Hy Kia ?

…Jab Dekho Zaleel o Khwar

Kia Hua Hy

SsssssssssHhhh

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Zubaida Aapa Ghusse

Mein 😛 😀

‘Balance khatm ho jay or ghar waly paisy na dain tu chat k oper parha hua purana sarya aur purani kapyan bech kar balance dalwa lo

{Zubaida apa k rozgar totky

*. . .Mehbooba ko kas K

pakar K,

Honton pe hont rakh K,

Kamar ko zor se daba ke,

Zulfon ko chehre pe phela ke,

Us ki sanson ko sanson mein sama K,

Aik zor daar pyar bhari kiss karne se..

Dil ka attack nahi hota. . .*

Zubaida Aapa K Romantic tootkey. . .*

Laal baig ko milk

main ubaal ker

dhoop mein sukha

kr laal mirchon k

sath pees ker ketchup

k sath khany se

ulti aa jati hai.

‘ZUBAIDA APA K JAN LEVA TOTKE

Agar Tum Ye Chaho k Tumhare pas

hamesha Dosto Ka Hujoom rahy tou

Ye 3 cheezen apny pas rakho

TULSI

GOLD LEAF

121(gutka)

Zubaida aapa k dostana totkay.

Jab Aap Kisi Mefil Me Pad Maro To

Barabar Waly Ko Gh0or Kar Dekhne

Se Aap Par Koi Shak Nahi Kary Ga.

Zubeda Aapa K Izzat Bachao Totke.

Jab Ghee seedhi Ungli se na nikley to

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Ghee ko garam kar lo ;

har cheez men Ungli dena zaruri nahi…:

zubeda aapa aaj tapi hui hain ;@

1 ENGINEER,

1 MBA student

or

ZUBEDA AAPA

kashti me ja rahe thy,

k JIN agaya or bola:

‘samandar me koi chez phenko,

agar mene dhond lia to me tumhe mar dn ga.warna me tmhara ghulam bn jaon ga.

1 ne sui phenki us ne dhondli os use mar dia

2 ne sim phenki us ne wo b dhoondli or usy bi mar dia

Phr

AAPA ne Disprine phenki,

wo pani me hal hogai

AAPA boli:

Chal Beta Ghr Chal Boht Kaam Para Hai

JIN Shocked*

Aapa Rocked

Agar apna pyar pana chaty ho to apni tabyat kharb kar lo or bayhoshi k alam main apny ghr walo k samny us ka he naam lyta raho

(Zubaida apa k pyaar pao totkay)

*. .Kapre press karte waqt agar ap shohar k kapre jala do to wo dobara kabhi apko press karne k liye nahi kahe ga

zubaida appa k hadd-haram totkey. .*

Agr choty bachy k pait me kery ho jaen

to bachy k pamper me biscuit rakh den

jese hi keera biscuit khane aae foran pkr len..

ZUBAIDA AAPA K DETECTIVE TOTKEY

2 Frnds ne sher ko dekha to 1 drkht pe char gya

2sra zmeen pe late gya or sans rok li,

Sher paas aya bola

Na Putar na

yaha zubaida aapa k totke nai chalte

aslaam o aliakum

dostoo ye ghazal chaheay mujay kisi dost ne mangi hay agar kisi k pas ho tu plz mere No. pe send kar dena.

us k honton pe honton k nishaa chhorh aya hon

us ne mangi thi muhbat ki nishani muj se

03454746383

Hamesha Munfrid Raho Jesy

NAMAK

JisKi Mojudgi Mehsus Nhi Hoti

Mgr IsKi Gair Mojodgi Tamam Chezon Ko

Be-Zaika Bana Daiti Hy.

Zubaida aapa aj serious hain;-)….

Kya Ap MacHHaron s Preshan hn?

NEEND Ni AaTi???

..

..

..

To

..

..

Machharon k sone k bad sojyen…:-)

.

ZUBAiDA APA

K pagalpan walay TOTKEY..

Agar ap ko roza lagta ho to sehri main ap teen hari mirchain kha lia karain

Phir roza kum aur hari marchain zaida lagain ge

Zubaid apa Return’s

Aakhir Kia Masla Hy

Tum Logo’n k Saath

Har Waqt Tumhe’n Totke

Batati Raho’n

Faltu Samjha Hy Kia ?

…Jab Dekho Zaleel o Khwar

Kia Hua Hy

SsssssssssHhhh

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Zubaida Aapa Ghusse

Mein

Sardi me Rat ko 12:00 baje Or Rat 3:00 baje

Pani me baraf dal kr naha lia Jaye to Rang Saaf Or Gora ho Jata hai

Zubaida Aapa ke marwanay walay totkay

Agar Behti Hui Nozee

Ko ‘SHURRRR” Ker k

Uppar Charhaa Lia Jaye

Tou

….

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Rooml Hamesha Saaf

Rehta Hy … =P

Zubaida Aapa k Saaf

Suthrey Totke

Beth k bathroom me Sardi ki sard Raaton main sochta hoon

FARAZ

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.

.

.kar to l hai…

ab thanday paani sayy’Dhoun’ga’kese?

Zubaida aapa plz help me…!

Agr ap k pas nara ya lastic na ho r shalwar dheli ho to usy girny s bchane ka sb s asan triqa ye h k shalwar k upr UNDRWEAR pehn le

(Zubeda Apa k suprman totky)

‘Girl friend k hontoun par shehed laga kar kiss ki jaye tu gulabjaman ka maza aye ga aur khansi bhi theek ho jay gi. . .

Zubaida Apa ki Jawani k Lazeez Totkey

Agar aap se koi bachi set nhe ho rhe . . . . . . . . . To aapki shakal achi nhe hogi.. =P Beta iss men main kya kar sakti hun? (Zubaida aapa ki bebasi)

B0y:

Tumhary pen main ink nae hy kya

Girl:

Andhay h0 kia?

chal t0 raha hy

B0y:

Acha t0 apna number t0 likh kr dikha0.

(zbaida apa k bachi pasanay k totkay)

?-I can feel your LOVE…

-I can feel pulse of your HEART…

-I can feel the fresh air in ME…

-I can feel LOVE in your eyes…

-I can feel WARMTH in your hands…

-I can feel the FEELINGS inside you…

-Just because YOU are MINE…

*. .Agr raat ko sote wqt jalti hui cigratte mun me rakh ke soya jaye to kharatte lete waqt

Khud ba khud Sootay lagty rhen gy

Zubeda aapa k nshai tottkey:-)

Are we so selfish that just to have a random 2 second laugh, we can disrespect someone ? Please – Please discourage this idiotic / non-sense trend, building in our society of not respecting our elders. Respect ?

Watch Zubaida Apna interview below link:

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kalam.tv%2Fur%2Fvideo%2F60127%2Findex.htmlhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.kalam.tv%2Fur%2Fvideo%2F60127%2Findex.html&h=a8994

Karachi ke halat ko dekhtey huye Zubaida aapa ka naya totka:

‘ap sab apne sath ek adat bori lekr jaya kren jaisey hi firing ho ap bori pehn kr road pr lait jayen apko Eidhi walay safely apke ghr pocha degi.

Agr koi ‘BAHO’ chahti h k uski ‘SAAS’ usy kbhe tng na kary tou wo raat 12 Bje apni saas k room main 1 glass pani le k jae,

Pani khud pee k glass saas k sir pe dy maray!

NA RAHY KI SAAS,NA KAREGI BKWAS!

(Zubida aapa k Qatilana totkay)

Ye totka meri BAHU k lie muzir-e-sehat hai

(Zubeida apa ki chalakiyan)

Agr apko raat ko neend na ati ho tu aik aik ankh main thori si ELFY dal len.Neend bhi ajaei aur subh ankh bhe nahi khulegi.

Zubaida apa k andha dhund totke.

Jab koi larki ghar sy bhag jny ki dhumki dy to us k ma bp ko chahye k usy ganja kr k bitha den.

5 Maheeny tk bhaagney ka nam nahi le gi.

Zubaida Apa k Totkey

Chehre Ko Gulabi Krna Ho Tou

2 Eggs

1 Spon

Lal-Mirch

Phaint Ker

Chehre Pe 5 Mins

Masage Kr K Dho Len

Surkhi Ana Shruu Ho

Jaye Gi,

Zubaida Aapa K

Jaan-Leva Totke =

Agar Nazle Aur Khansi

k Saath Saath Namkeen

Balghum b Aa Raha Ho

Tou Thori Cheeni Kh Le’n

Us Se Aap Ko

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Rabri Ka Maza Aaye Ga

(Zubaida Aapa k Lazeez

Totke

Agr ap ke shadi na ho rhe ho to daily subh uth k apné walid sahab k room k samné zor zor sé dholki bjayn:-D

zubaida apa k kut khilané walé totké :-

‘Risk’ is my ‘Life’

‘Danger’ is my ‘Game’

‘Zahir Khan’ is my ‘Name’

‘Pathan’ is my ‘Surname’

‘i m a young ‘pathan’

Bron to ‘Die’

Ask my mom not to ‘cry’

‘Dir for nationis my ‘fashion’

‘Don’t play with me’

‘Because’

‘Pukhtoon’ is my ‘Nation’

‘prude’ to be a ‘pathan’

‘there for i say’

‘Na gussa yam na adat yam da sharabo…

‘Zu pukthoon yam Qudrati me strge sre de’

“BALGHAM” ko dhoop mein sukha kar choti choti goliyan bana k chabaya jaye

to

“DING DONG” bubble gum ki kami puri ho jati hai..!

ZUBAIDA AAPA k bachat walay totkay..!;-)

Agar Tumse Zyada Taqat Wala Shakhs

Tumhe Maarey aur Tum Kuch Na Kar Sako

Tu Thora Sa Door Ja K Use Lanat De Kar Bhaag Jao.

Zubaida Aapa K Intiqami Totkay,.

Agr Sardio Me Nahate Waqt

Pani Bohat Zada Thanda Lage To

To Pani Garam Kr K Nahalo

Ab Is Me B

Zubaida Aapa K Totke Hi Chaiye Kya.?

‘Loose motion theek karne k liye thori dair k liye BARF pe beth jaen neeche se thand lagne se motion freez ho k SAKHT ho jaege’

Aye haye

Zubaida Aapa sadqay jawan..!!!!!

Agar Bacha shararat se baz na aaye aur hamesha tang krta rhay

tou usay dheeli lastick ki nikar pehna dein

masti krne k bjaye woh dono hathon se apni nikar smbhalta rahega…

Jee jee jee….

Unhi ka totka hai…. 🙂

‘me ne kaha mohbbat me kuch bi kr sakta ho

Faraz,

Usny kaha 1 anday k 2 Amlet to bana kr dikhao,

(,’)/’ hat ja yr

/) / zubaida

_//_ aapa k ps ja raha ho

Phur

phur

phu

phu

phu

khur

khur

khu……

khuuuu

phu

khu

zubaida aapa so rahi hain kharate le kar.Koi problem?

Father: what can u do for my daughter

boy: i would die for her!

Father: i dont like u

boy: why?

Father: i am lo0king for someone who would live for her,not someone who would just die and leave her alone.

HERRO BANNE SE B BEZATI HO JATI HAI.

(zubeda apa k sharif bn’ne k totky)

Agr Apki Shadi Nahi Ho Rhi Hy To Daily Subha Saveray Uth Kr Apna PAJAMA Dho Kr Walid Sahb K Kmry K Samny Sukhny K Liye Latka Dain.

Zubeyda Apaa Ke Totke

Plz request hai.

Ab Zubaida Apa ka sms ayen to plz agy 4wrod mt karen blke delete kardain. Zuebda Apa apne program ma sms ki wja se ro pari

KISI KI DIL AZARI KRNA GUNAH HA.

Hum Zubaida Apa se mafi mangta hein or is sms ko itna phelao k Zubaida Apa tk phonoch jae.

Agar teen din tak subha neend se jag ker kangha na kia jaye to hair style Veena Malik jesa ho jata hai.. 😉

*. . .Zubaida Apa k stylish totkey. . .*

*. . .agar aap se koi larka set nahin horaha

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to aap ki shakal he achi nahin hogi beta..ab is mai main kiya kar sakti hun :p

(zubeda aapa ki bebasi).

1 new style

Aur naya rup

*. . .Happy 21th January..

Aaj..

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Quaid e Azam ka khatna hua tha…..

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(Zubaida apa k andazy

Ye he naya style)

Agar Aap Raat Mai Meethi Neend Sona Chate Hain

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To Sonay Se Pehle 1 Kilo Chini Khaliya Karen

.

Bohot Meethi Neend Aegi

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.

ZUBAIDA AAPA K MEHNGE TOTTKE

luchey ko lafabgey mein achi tarha mix karain aur us mein gazbey zaiqa bagarti dalen.

Dakoo ko bareek kat kar us mein achi tarha mila lein jb us mein kameena pan zahir ho to haraami masala dalen phir zalaalat ka bhagar dalen aur phir BIBI ka tarka lagain. jb uski rangat kutton jesi ho to smjh jaen key ZARDARI Tyaar Zubaida appa ka zabardast totka

KHANA IS TARHA BANAO K……..

WO KHANA NAI PARHE BALKE SONG K PET BHAR JAE..

HAHAHA

ZOBAIDA APA KA MEHENGAI KI BACAHT K TOTKE,.,.,.

Aaj katrina kaif ki Birthday hai. jo ye msg 9 lgo ko send krega us k khwab me ktrna kaif ayegi.1 lrke na jhut samj k delt kr dia us k khwb ma ZUBAIDA Apa aagaya.

Aksar Jism Pe Zakham Ho Jate Hain

Agar Un Zakhmo Pe Laal Mirch,Namak Mila K Lagai Jaye

To

Apke Mou Se Foran Niklega

ZUBAIDA AAPA Teri MAA KI…

*. .Agr ap chae bnaty waqt chae ki pati k sath thori tambaco ki pati dal den tu koi b aenda ap sy chae ki farmaish nhi kryga. .*

(zubeda aapa k janleva totky)

Agar munni ko topi wala burqa pehna kar dabung film main laya jata tu woh badnami sey bach sakti thi!

(Molana fazal -ur- rehman)

zubeda apa aj chuti pe hai..:-)

‘Agar paaon ziada thanday hon tou paon kaat ke heater pe 10mins ke liye rakh dein sardi nahi lage gi’

Zubaida aapa ke qasaabi totkay

3 mooli k parathe 2 gobi k parathe 1 plate mash ki dal Or 1 pyala obly chane 1 sath khaen OR apni zati gas se generatr chalaen “ZUBAIDA AAPA k C.N.G Totky”

‘Girl friend k hontoun par shehed laga kar kiss ki jaye tu gulabjaman ka maza aye ga aur khansi bhi theek ho jay gi. . .

Tmam cheezain jo ‘Z’ s start hon, Tabahi machati hy.

ZLZALA, ZULM, ZEHR, ZAKHM, ZUKAAM, ZAMIN, ZID

&

‘ZARDARI’

bus zaubaida aapa achi hain 🙂

agar sufar me BP low ho gy uaur namk nhi mil raho ho to nak me sy chowa nikal kar chat lyn

Zubaida apa ky gundy totky