Category: Wife SMS

“CHAPPAL” Choti Ho Jai “PAOWN” Mai Nhi Ati.

Wah Wa Wa

“CHAPPAL” Choti Ho Jai “PAOWN” Mai Nai Ati.

B.V “MOTI” Ho Jai

“BAAHON” Mai Nai Ati.. ;->

Wah wah wah….

A HUSBAND’s CUTE LOVE QUOTE:

Even my child too started 2 walk without any support but my wife still feels 2 hold my hand while walking..!!…

BV:

Mujhe samajh nhi aata me paisy kahan chupaun? Jahan chupati hun hamara beta chura leta hy

Shohar:

Uski Books me chupa do, hath b nhi lagaega….

Wife shoping kr k i to husband ne darwaza khola.

Wife:Ye dabba utha lo

Husband:is Me zarur Mre khane ki koi cheez hogi.

Wife:han Mere sandel hen…

Wife came home with a goat.

Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”

Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”

Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”

wife

tumnay mujay shadi say pahlay kio nahi

bataya k tumhari pehli hi rani naam ki wife hay ?

husmand

maine bataya to tha k mein tume rani ki tarah rakho gaa

Wife: Sirf Mere Liye He Paan Kyon Le Rahe Ho?

Apne Liye Bhi Le Lo…

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Husband: Mai Bina Paan Khaye Bhi Chup Reh Sakta Hon. :-)…

Election men Umed war ko sirf teen vote mile tou uski Bewi roney bhet gayi aur kehne lagi:

‘Mujhe pehle hi pata tha ke tum ne kahin aur bhi Shaadi kar rakhi ha.. Ab tou Soboot bhi mil gaya. Mere aur Tumhare Do votes ke elawa teesra vote usi ‘CHUDAIL’ ka hosakta ha..’

Dedicated To Mashriqi Wife:

Husband:

aj khane me kia bnao’gi?

Wife:

wohi jo ap khaen

H:

dal chawal bna lo

W:

abi kal hi to khaye they

H:

to sabzi roti bna lo

W:

bache nhi khayen’ge

H:

to cholay puri bana lo

W:

mujhe heavy lagta hy

H:

anday aaloo bana lo

W:

phr subha nashte me kia khao’ge?

H:

parathay

W:

raat ko parathay kon khata hy?

H:

hotel se mangwa letay hain.

W:

roz roz hotel ka nhi khana chahye

H:

Kari chawal

W:

dahi nhi hy

H:

mattar

qeema?

W:

usme time lage’ga

pehle bolty aap

H:

maggi bana lo, usme time nhi lage’ga

W:

us say pait nhi bharta

H:

phir ab kia bnao’gi?

W:

“AAP BTAIN NA”…

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife

instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar:Your honour,

it’s easier to shoot a woman once,

than shooting one man every week.

Ek rat husband ny wife se pani manga or so gaya

Bivi sari raat khari rahi subha hoi

Husband: tum sari raat yaha khari rahi bolo kya chahye

Wife: Gussy se Talaq ;-)…

Shohar:

Ye lo

Sara din riksha chlaya,

500 kamaya or 350 ka tail dalwaya

Wife:

Ye lo

sirf 1 ghanta lagaya 5000 kamaya

or tail bhi usi ne lagaya.

Hsbnd apni wife ka jnaza lekr ja rha tha

Jnaze k agy ek kutta 0r piche aadmiyon ki Lmbi line thi

Ek aadmi akr pochta hy

?bhai ye sb kese hua

Hsbnd: Is kutte ne kaat lya tha

Aadmi: Ye kutta ek din k Lye mje dedo

Hsbnd: piche line me lag jao…..

Want to surprise your girlfriend?

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Introduce her to your wife. :P…

Wife to Husband:

Ap aaj kahana paka rhay hain ya nhe?

Husbnd: Nhe na na khana pakaon ga na kapray dhoun ga na safai karonga…

Wife: Ok mai unit office may bol dyti hun k jalsay may nhi aa rhi wo waja pochain gay to bata dun ge..

Husband: Nhe bhae mai to mazak kar rha tha tum jao.

Wife.G A MQM.

DUZ DUZ:-D

Aik Sharabi ko Police Ne Raat 2 Bajey Rok k Poocha:

Itni Raat ko kahan Ja Rahey ho?

Sharabi:

Mein SHARAB or Smoking k insani Jism Per Parney Walay Asraat Per Lecture Sun’ney Ja Raha hoon..

Police Officer:

Really?

Ye to Bohat Achi Baat hay, Wese is Waqt Ye Lecture Kon Dega?

Sharabi:

Meri BV..!!

Man:Janab mAin 20 K/m pEr hR Ki RaftaAr sE Ja rAha thA,

Mgr PhIr bHi mEri cAr kO Taiz RaftaAri k ILzaAM Me bAnd kR Dia gYa,

Judge:Is baAT Ka kYA Saboot Hai?

K tUm sAch kAh rAhay hO?

Man:Janab iS Se bArh kR Or kYA ProOf hO Ga k uS WAqt mAin aPni b.V Ko Lenay SusraL Ja rAha thA,…

Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo Ge To Mere Jesi Biwi Nai Milegi..

Husband: Tumhe Kis Ne Kaha K Dusri Bar B Tumhare Jesi He Dhundunga? :…

Agr admi wife ki bat man le to:

Maa:

odi gal tay enj manda ae jenj unain jamya ay.

Agr admi maa ki bat man le to:

Wife:

viyah v maa nal e kara laina c 😉

Wife: mene apki

B-day pr itni mehngi chez li ha k ap dekhte hi khush ho jaogy.

Hsbnd: Shukar ha tumhe mera b khayal aya.

"Dikhao"

wife: Bs abi pehan k ai……

Wife: Wo samay jo admi drink ker raha hai,
usko main nay 10 saal pehlay shadi k
liye inkaar kia tha.
Aaj tak sharab pee raha hay!

Husband: Wow! itni lambi celebration!

Man to a Friend:I gifted my wife a Diamond Necklace and she didn’t speak to me for a month

Friend:Why?Thats very Foolish of Her

Man:Well that was THE DEAL….

1 Aurat ne New sim li or mobile main lagai

or faisla kia k shohar ko surprise degi

jo drawing room main betha tha

woh kitchen main gai

or shohar ko new number se call ki:

‘Hello Darling’

shohar ne halki awaz main jawab dia

‘tum mjhy bad main call karna

‘churail’

kitchen main he ha’

…*A w0man was kidnapped.

Kidnapper: cutt 0f her finger and sent it to her husband and demanded m0ney…

Husband replied: I want m0re prove

KH0PRI BHEJ KH0PRI…23*

Wife: If I removed da cook & make da food myself 4 a month,what will u pay me?

Husband: I don?t hav 2 pay u, u?ll get my entire insurance amount.;-)

…

What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world crying?
&
the other ensures U Continue to do so.

Advocate:Talak Karvane K Rs10,000 Lagenge.

Husband:Pagal Ho Kya?Pandit Ne Rs 101 Me Shadi Karvai Thi.

Advocat:Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija..lolz 😛 😛 😛

¤_¤

Wife: chaliye na!

Kahiin chalte hain,

or

Drive main karon gi.

Husband: is ka matlab hai k,,

jayen gay CAR main

or

Ayen gay AKHBAAR main…..

1 Admi Zor Zor Se Dua Mang Rha Tha ‘Ya Allah! Mujhy Chupkali Bana De’.

2nd Admi: Tm Ye Dua Q Mang Rhe Ho?

1st: Q K Meri B.v Sirf Chupkali Se Hi Darti He.

Husband: Today is sunday &

I have to enjoy it.

So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why three?

Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents

Admi Hotel Manager se:

Jaldi chalo Meri BV khirki se kood kr Jaan dena Chahti hai

Hotel Manager: To men kya karu?

Admi: Anni dya khirki nai khuldi pyi. . .

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:

Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.

Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

1 unparh Larki Ki Shadi 1 UK Return Admi Se Hogai.

1 Din Uska husband Khana Khate Hue gale me nivala phansne ki waja se Mar Gya

Larki us ki mot pe ro ro kar keh rahi thi….

Haye waay. . .

Pani V Nai Mangia Bs Water Water Krda Margya..:-P

Wife: Janu! Kash aap message hotay, main ap ko save karti, jab chahe parhti

Husband: Kanjoos, save hi kar k rakhti ya apni kisi saheli ko forward bhi karti?…

A woman is completely harmless n does not believe in violence,she is like an angel,the most manered human being in d world

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Until her nail polish dries:-P

‘The First sign of old age is when. . .

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your wife starts trusting you.’:

Husbnd: Yaar maine naye detergent se apni shirt dhoyi aur woh chhoti ho gayi, ab kya karun?

Wife: Usi detergent se ek baar khud naha lei’n_

Larki ki Aadhi Zindagi Husband Ki Talash main,

Aur

Baqi Zindagi Husband ki Talashi Layne main Guzar jaati hai…..

(,’) Begum

/) )20 Rupy To

_/ /_Chor do…

Marriage Tip:

If Wife Wants To Get

Husband’s Attention,

Just Look

Sad & Uncomfortable.

If Husband Wants To Get

Wife’s Attention,

Just Look

Comfortable & Happy … =P 😉 …

Wife- ap Mujhe kisi mehangi jaga le ke chaliye na

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Husband- Chalo tayyar ho jao

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‘Petrol pump’ chaltay hain..

Man 2 psychiatrist:

Aisa kya kiya jaye k hum mard har tarah se apni biwio se khush rahe?

Psychiatrist kaan me bola:

khamoshi se tv-cables kaat di jaye;->…

Bahu: ye abhi tak nahi aye, maaji kahin ye kisi larki k saath……..

Saas: arey kalmuhi jab sochegi bura hi sochegi, ho sakta hai kisi truck k niche aagya ho.,.,.,.,

Aik bivi bohat naik thi,shohar ko paas na aney deti k gunah hai.

Shohar ne molvi ko masla btaya.

Molvi ne kaha,

usay kaho paas aney se aik Kafir maarnay ka sawab hota hai.

Shohar ne aisa kaha, aur bivi maan gai.

Bohat mazza aya. Kuch deir baad bivi boli, ayen ji aik aur kafir marein. Shohar ready ho gya. Kuch dair baad phir, phir, phir….

Shohar: Bs kr do ab tou momin bhi shaheed honay wala hai.

Man to Barber: Cut my hair Short.

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Barber: How short You would like to?

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Man: So Short that My Wife Cannot pull them…

Ek Bacha apni Maa se pitnay k baad Papa kabhi aap jungle gaye ho?

Papa: Nahi beta .

Bacha: Phir itna Khaternaak item kahan se pakra tha

Wife:?Tum ny kahbi socha hai k meri shaadi kisi aur sy ho jati to kitna acha hota??

Husband:?Nahi! Main kisi aur admi ka bura nahi cha sakta?

…

What Is The Next Thing

A Man Should Do After

Winning An

Argument With His Wife ?

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Apologise !!!;)…

Only man knows a Man`s nature..

Customer: I need a Ladies suit…

shopkeeper:

Begum k liye chahiye ya koi achha sa dikhaon? 🙂

(03006329056)

1 Aurat ka husband gum ho gaya.

Wo apni paronsan k sath report darj karwanay police station gai or apne husband ka huliya btaya.

Handsome

Lamba qad

Gora rang

Gaal pe dimple.

Parosan: jhoot q bol rahi ho?

Tumhara husband to kala,chote qad ka or mota ha.

Aurat: jo gaya so gaya,

jo aye wo to acha ho:-)!

Asian man will have a wife and a girlfriend and will love his wife more.

A black man will have 2 wives and 5 girlfriends and will love his 1st wife more.

A white man will have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends and will love his girlfriends more.

An Pakistani man will have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends …and he still loves his mummy more….

Ek Padri Dosray Se Yaar Meri B.V Ghar Baar Sab Kuch Le Lia Or Talaaq De Dia,

Doosra Padri:(Rotay Huay)

Yaar Tum To Buhat Khushnaseeb Ho Meri Begum Ne Mujh Se Pran,Pardhan,Izat,Dolat Sb Kuch Le Lia Or Talaaq phr Nai Dia….

Kitnay armano se shadi ki rat ko ghongat uthaya mene faraz,

wo bary pyar se kan main boli,

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tenu dulha kinay banaya bhootneeday.

Dost:

kia BV Se Larai Khtm Hui

2d dost:

ha Ghutne Taik K Mere Pas i Thi

1st:

Usny Ghutne Taik K Kya Kaha?

2nd

Yhi K BED K Niche Se Nikal Ao Kuch Nahi Kahungi

A Person Went to his Neighbour,

Where an Old Couple Lived.

He Went Inside Where he Found that the Old Man still called her Wife with Cute Names like Sweety, Honey, Jasmine etc.

Man to the Old Man: It’s sweet… After 70 Years you still call your wife with such Cute Names.

The Old Man replied (Whispering):

Her Name had Slipped off My Mind 10 Years Ago

&

I am Very Scared to Ask What It Is..!!;-)

?Friendship Among Women?

A woman didn?t come home @ night. The next day she told her husband she?d slept over at a friend?s house

The man called his wife?s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it

?Friendship among Men?

A man didn?t come home 1 night. The next day he told his wife he slept over at a friend?s house

The woman called her husband?s 10 best friends. 8 of them said, he did sleep over and 2 claimed, he wz still there !

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aik shoping mall mein daketi k duran daku nay aik bandy say pochta hai k tum nay kia muje daketi karte huye daikha hai to wo kehta hai k han to daku us ko goli mar deta hai phr daku aik aur bandy say pochta hai k kia tum nay muje daketi karty huye daikha hai kia to wo kehta hai k mein nay to ni daikha lekin meri bewi nay daikha hai.

Wife:-I will die. Husband:- I will also die. Wife:-why will you die? Husband:-because main itni khushi bardasht nahin ker sakta

…

A fact about women:

They can see a hair of a girl on their husband’s coat from 20 meters away, but they can’t see a pillar from two meters while parking a car…..

Larki saath ho to

Hotel Bill..

Larki Door ho to

Mobile Bill..

Or

Larki Naraz ho jaye to

Gifts ka Bill

Is liye

Na lagao Dil..

Na aayega Bill

Life is Achi

WithOut any Bachi..

No Love,

No Tension,

No Wife

Happy & Easy Life.

A Public Service Msg by

GirlFriend se mehroom Group.

Wife husband say :

aji sontay ho main aaj kal bohat kubsort hoti ja rahi hon

Husband:

tumhay kis nay kaha?

wife:

meri khubsorti daikh ker aab rotian bhi jelnay lagi hain

BV ne kameez utari, Shohar ki taraf dekhte hoe shalwar b utar ker boli

‘Pata he na, kya krna he?’

Shohar: Haan kapre dhone hen.

Wife:Agar mein koh gayi to tum kya karoge?

Husband: Mein akhbar mein ad don ga

JAHAN RAHO KHUSH RAHO. …

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:

“Aadmi ushi ko marta hai jis se Pyar kerta hai.”

Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maray aur Boli

“Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyar nahi kerti”

1 admi Ki Wife Mar gai.

Dost Usko Chup Karane K Bad:

‘Tuje Kuch Chahiye?

Admi:

Laptop La Do

Dost:

Woh kion?

Admi:

‘Facebook Pe Status to Single ker don’.

Santa :Judge Sahab, Mujhe Talaq Chahiye

Pichhle Ek Saal Se Meri Biwi Ne Mujhse Baat Nahi Ki.

Judge :Ek Baar Firse Sochle, Aisi Biwi Kismat Se Milti Hai !!!

…

Apni wife se romantic guftagu karna aisa hi hai

jaise kisi aisi jaga kharish karna jahan kharish na ho rahi ho…

Dedicated to all married couples.

HUSBAND WIFE me larai ho gai,hubby ghar se offic gya Raat ko phone karke pucha:”Khane me kya he WIFE:zaher HUBBY:tum khakar so jao me ata hu!

Wife : suno ji, kutte ko kaise pata chalta hai ke kutiya ka mann kar

raha hai??

Husband : soongh ke.

Wife : Toh Behanchod, tujhe jhukaam hai kya??

Wo kia cheez hay

Jo biwi apnay husband ko sari umar nahi deti

Bar bar magney per bhi nain deti.

Aur yeh illegal bhi nain hy??

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Guess??

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?

Come on yar?

?

?

Sakoon

Badsurat Wife:

Apne Husbnd Se

Khirki K Parde Lagwa Do,

Naya Parosi Muje Dekhne Ki Koshish Krta Hy

Husband:

1 Bar Dekh Lene Do,

Phr

Wo Khud Parde Lagwa Lega.

What is the most Dangerous alphabet

W

Bcoz all worries start wid W

Who?

Why?

What?

When?

Which?

Where?

War,

weapon,

Wine,

Women

Wife &

‘ WAPDA’!

Do Dost aapas men baten karhe the…

Aik ne kaha:’Yar meri Bewi itni moti ha k aik dafa weighting Machine pe Chadi tou Machine men se Paper nikla is par likha tha ‘Aik Aadmi Utar jaye’

Dosra Dost: Yar ye tou kuch bhi naheen meri Bewi itni moti ha k Aik dafa men dhobi k paas uske kapre leke gya tou dhobi ne kaha ‘Hum kapre dhotey hen… SHAMIANAY nahi!’

1 Aurat ka husband gum ho gaya

Wo apni paronsan k sath report darj karwane police station gai or apne husband ka huliya btaya.

Handsome

Lamba Qad

Gora rang

Gaal pe dimple

Parosan: jhoot Q bol rahi ho?

Tumhara husband to kala,chote Qad ka or mota hy

Aurat: jo gaya so gaya

jo aaye wo to acha ho….

Wife to husband: ‘Stop looking at girls, u r married now.’
Husb: ‘Oh Honey, this is not fair. You mean if i’m on diet, i can’t even look at the menu.

Har boy ke Zindagi me ‘3 DOLLS’ Aati Hain

Ek Us Beti BABY DOLL

Doosri Uski Girl Friend, BARBIE DOLL,

Teesri Uski Wife

‘PANADOL’ wo bhi ‘EXTRA’

Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u! Wife:Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

A man inserted an ‘add’ in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."…

Interesting lines from a husband’s diary:

‘Now I always watch my wedding video in reverse mode & I love the end when she takes the ring off, goes out, jumps in the car & returns back to her father’s home..;-) 😀 😛

BV sharabhi shohar ko theek kerne ke liye kala libas pehen ke khari ho gai ,

Shohar jhomtey huwey kon ho tum .

BV churail .

Shohar ; hath mila mein teri behan da shohar .

(sahil)

“Musibaton Ka Muqabla Sabar Say Karo”

“Aur”

“Nematon Ki Hifazat Shukar Say Karo”

Is SMS Main Pehle Biwi Ka Aur Baad Mein girlfriend Ka Zikar Aata Hai.

BiWi(GussE MeiN) TuMharE DiMaaG Me To SirF GoBaR Hi BhArA Hai???!

ShUhaR(PyaR se) To PhiR Itni DeR Se KhA KioN Rahi Ho???..!!!!!?????…

What is the thinnest book in the world?

What Men Know About Women?

…

Puraani Kahawat He k

Sotay Waqt Koi Tention Le kar Nahi Sona Chahiye…

Lakin Hairat he…

Phir Bhi Log

BV Ko Saath Le ker Sote Hain..;:-)…

Man outside phone booth : Excuse me !!

You are holding the phone since 20 mins.

&

haven’t spoken a word… ..

Man inside –

Sir I’m talking to my wife.. 🙁

WIFE in sexy mood says:

‘Aaj mujhe Rassi se bandh do aur jo karna hai karlo,

HUSBAND ne usay bandh diya or Naukrani ko chod diya.

Wife saw a sign board:

Shafon suit

Rs 15/

Cotton suit

Rs 8/

Banarsi suit

Rs 10/

Wife:

Give me Rs 500 i wil Buy 50 suit

Husband: Andhi Dhobi ki Dukan hai:)

Chintu: Papa What’s the Difference Between

Mother’s Tears & Wife’s Tears?

Father: Mother’s tears Affect your HEART,

And

Wife’s Tears Affect your POCKET. :-)…

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”

Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”

Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.

Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”

Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

Husband to a newly wed wife!

I could go to the end of the world for you

Wife:Thanks,but promise me

you will stay there for the rest of your life.

Husband: Kal mere khawab ma ek lrki aye thi.

Wah!Kia larki thi.

Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?

Husband: Tm ko kese pata?

Wife: Uska husband mere khawab me aya tha

Man On His Death Bed Confesses 2 His Wife-I Had An Affair With Ur Sister, Ur Best Frd & The Maid.

Wife : I Know Darling. Now Relax & Let The Poison Work! ..;-)…

Ek Lady Apne Boyfrnd k sath Ghoom rhi thi k achank Uska Husband Agya Or BF ko Marne lga

Lady

Maar Gadhe ko

Apni Biwi ko to Ghumata nhi

Dusron ki Biwi Ghumane le aate hn

(Itne me BF ko Josh Aaya or Woh Husband ko Marne laga)

Lady

Maar Sale ko

Na Khud Ghumane le jata ha

na kisi or ko Ghumane deta ha :

*. . .Wife: Main ne khoty pr research ki hai, wo apni ”khoti” k siwa kisi or khoti ko dekhta tak nahi.

Husband: Isi liye to usy ”khota” kehty hain. . .*

Husband: Mujhy samajh nai ati, k tum meri Ammi jesi rotiyan kyu nai pkati??

Wife : kyu k tum wesa atta nai ghundtay Jesa, Tumhary abba ghondty thay.

Khawateen k baray me dilchasp haqaik: Scotland ki aurten ziada kanjoos hoti ha.

Dhokha dahi me American aurten subse agay ha.

Shohron ki ziada petai Italy ki aurten karti ha.

Bharti aurten chughal khor hoti ha.

Spain me aurten ziada nokari paisha ha.

Arab aurten khamosh’taba hoti ha.

Japani aurten ziada hala gula pasand karti ha.

Pakistani aurten ziada fazol kharch hoti ha.

Tufani Barish May Raat Ko Shop per 1 Admi Pizza Lenay Aaya

Shopkeeper: Aap Shadi Shuda Hai

Admi: Is Tufani Barish May Kya Meri Maa Mujay Pizza Lene Bhejegi

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire??

Millionaire: ?I owe everything to my wife.?

Interviewer: ?Wow, she must be some woman.

Interviewer: ?What were you before you married her??

Millionaire: ?A Billionaire…

A Guy Searching,

These Keywords on Google:

“How to Tackle A Wife..”

Google Search Result:

“Good Morning, Sir..!

Even We are Searching..” =D =P…

AIRPORT Pe-

Patni:Dekho,Wo Couple KISS Karte Hue Kitna Khush Dikhai De Rahe Hai.

Pati:Wo Usse DROP Karne Aaya Hai,RECEIVE Karne Nahi…..