BV ne kameez utari, Shohar ki taraf dekhte hoe shalwar b utar ker boli

‘Pata he na, kya krna he?’

Shohar: Haan kapre dhone hen.

Husband: dear tumhari neck par ajeeb si cheez hay jise dekh kar khauf aata hay.

Wife:Wo kiya?

Husband:Tumhara ?moun?

…

Doctor :

Aap ki dimaaghi beemari ka kya haal hy ?

Mareez:

Theek hy aaj kal maiky gai hui hy….

Husband:I?ll admit I?m wrong if u?ll admit I?m right!

Wife:I agree! u go first!

Husband:Ok?I?m wrong!

Wife(with a twinkle in her eye):you are right!…

Dost:

kia BV Se Larai Khtm Hui

2d dost:

ha Ghutne Taik K Mere Pas i Thi

1st:

Usny Ghutne Taik K Kya Kaha?

2nd

Yhi K BED K Niche Se Nikal Ao Kuch Nahi Kahungi

Radio Quiz:

Should women have children after 35?

Sardar Replied:

No, 35 children are more than enough!

…

Sadqaa denay say har balaa tul jaati hai

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

siwaye us kay

jo aap kay nikaah mein aa gai ho…..

Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u! Wife:Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

Bv doctor se,mere shohar ko sotey mein bolne ki bimaari hai mein unhain kya doon,?

,

,

Doctr,-Aap unhe jagty mein bolne ka moqa dein

WIFE: Suno G.

Mujhe Brazer leni hy.

Hsbnd:Brazer ka kya faida ? Tary boobs itnay chotay to hain. .*

WIFE: kal tum ne underwear lia, mene kuch Aetraz kia.?

Ek admi ka hont jala hua tha

Kisi ne pocha kese jala?

Admi bola:

Wife maikey ja rahi the usko chorne station gaya tha

khushi main train ka Engine choom lia

Ek admi aadi raat ko apni moti biwi se bola

k sisak sisak ke marna theek hai ya ek dum.

BIWI : Ek dum.

Aadmi : To apni dusri tang bhi mujh per rakh do.

Husband-ek kiss le lu..?

Wife- No.

Husband- Jewlry la dunga.

Wife- No..

Husband- Car de dunga

Wife- No

Beta so raha tha, bola- meri lelo, cycle la dena…:

biwiyan apne shohar ko’A.G’ q kehti hen.??

Q k biwiyan tamizdar hoti hen;sb k samne ‘ABEY GADHE’nai kah sakten isliye short form me bolti hen ‘A.G’ suntey ho

Ek Lady Apne Boyfrnd k sath Ghoom rhi thi k achank Uska Husband Agya Or BF ko Marne lga

Lady

Maar Gadhe ko

Apni Biwi ko to Ghumata nhi

Dusron ki Biwi Ghumane le aate hn

(Itne me BF ko Josh Aaya or Woh Husband ko Marne laga)

Lady

Maar Sale ko

Na Khud Ghumane le jata ha

na kisi or ko Ghumane deta ha :

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,

but luckier is the woman

who is the last love of a man.

…

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…

Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

WIFE says: No darling , it means :-

With Idiot For Ever

BV apne shohar ko darane k liye Kala Libas Pehan ker khari ho gai

Shohar darte howe !

Kon ho tum ?

BV:

churail

Shohar:

Hath mila main teri paen da banda.:

Wife: Janu! Kash aap message hotay, main ap ko save karti, jab chahe parhti

Husband: Kanjoos, save hi kar k rakhti ya apni kisi saheli ko forward bhi karti?…

Husbnd (1st night:Tum ne kbhi koi gandi film dekhi he?

Wife: Ha

Hsbnd: Bs hm ne phir wese hi krna he!

Wife:Tu baqi 2 lrkay tum bulao gy ya cal kr k men bulao

Chintu: Papa What’s the Difference Between

Mother’s Tears & Wife’s Tears?

Father: Mother’s tears Affect your HEART,

And

Wife’s Tears Affect your POCKET. :-)…

1st frend! TV or Bivi me kiya frq he?

2nd frend! TV ko dekhna perta he or Bivi ko dekhana perta he…

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola: ?Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.? Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli ?Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti?

…

wife; im going to london do u want any gift?

Husband: A British Girl..

wife:ok…

Wife returns

husband: where iz gift?

wife: wait for 9 months!!!!!!!!

Wife: “Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!”

Husband (ghusay se): “Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!”

Wife: “Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!”…

Husband to a newly wed wife!

I could go to the end of the world for you

Wife:Thanks,but promise me

you will stay there for the rest of your life.

Wife Hints to husband for a new Car!

Dear! buy me something that goes from 0 to 90 in 2 seconds when i am on it.’

Husband gifted Her

A ‘Weight Machine’:-):-D

Wife saw Sign Board

Nylon saree Rs.8/-

Cotton saree Rs.5/-

Banarasi saree Rs.10/-

Wife: Give me Rs.500.I?ll buy 50 sarees.

Husband: Andhi, dhobi ki dukan hai

…

Wife: ‘Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!’

Husband (ghusay se): ‘Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!’

Wife: ‘Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!’

Man outside phone booth : Excuse me !!

You are holding the phone since 20 mins.

&

haven’t spoken a word… ..

Man inside –

Sir I’m talking to my wife.. 🙁

Wife Ki Dua

Ya Allah,

Mere husband ko boht sari dolat de shohrt de, sukon de, khushi de

Tu ye sb mere shohar ko dede’

‘Unse lena mera kam hy’

A couple were arguing.

Wife: You dont like anybody in my family.

Husband: Not true, I like your mother-in-law better than my mother-in-law!…

Keep one photo of ur wife in ur pocket, when you are in a tension, just take out the photo from pocket, you will feel that there is no tension biggest then this.

Ek dost apny friend say:

Yar suna hai tum apni bivi k sath bartan dhoty ho ?

Dost:

To kiya hua.Wo bhi to mere sath rotiyan pakati hy.

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife

instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar:Your honour,

it’s easier to shoot a woman once,

than shooting one man every week.

What is the most Dangerous alphabet

W

Bcoz all worries start wid W

Who?

Why?

What?

When?

Which?

Where?

War,

weapon,

Wine,

Women

Wife &

‘ WAPDA’!

Dost:Truck Dekh Kr Tm dar Q jate Ho?

Sardar: 1bar 1Truck Driver Meri Bv Ko Le Kr Bhag Gya Tha

Hr Bar Lagta He Jese bV Wapis Krne Aya He?

“CHAPPAL” Choti Ho Jai “PAOWN” Mai Nhi Ati.

Wah Wa Wa

“CHAPPAL” Choti Ho Jai “PAOWN” Mai Nai Ati.

B.V “MOTI” Ho Jai

“BAAHON” Mai Nai Ati.. ;->

Wah wah wah….

A HUSBAND’s CUTE LOVE QUOTE:

Even my child too started 2 walk without any support but my wife still feels 2 hold my hand while walking..!!…

BV:

Mujhe samajh nhi aata me paisy kahan chupaun? Jahan chupati hun hamara beta chura leta hy

Shohar:

Uski Books me chupa do, hath b nhi lagaega….

Wife shoping kr k i to husband ne darwaza khola.

Wife:Ye dabba utha lo

Husband:is Me zarur Mre khane ki koi cheez hogi.

Wife:han Mere sandel hen…

Wife came home with a goat.

Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”

Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”

Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”

wife

tumnay mujay shadi say pahlay kio nahi

bataya k tumhari pehli hi rani naam ki wife hay ?

husmand

maine bataya to tha k mein tume rani ki tarah rakho gaa

Wife: Sirf Mere Liye He Paan Kyon Le Rahe Ho?

Apne Liye Bhi Le Lo…

.

.

.

.

.

Husband: Mai Bina Paan Khaye Bhi Chup Reh Sakta Hon. :-)…

Election men Umed war ko sirf teen vote mile tou uski Bewi roney bhet gayi aur kehne lagi:

‘Mujhe pehle hi pata tha ke tum ne kahin aur bhi Shaadi kar rakhi ha.. Ab tou Soboot bhi mil gaya. Mere aur Tumhare Do votes ke elawa teesra vote usi ‘CHUDAIL’ ka hosakta ha..’

Dedicated To Mashriqi Wife:

Husband:

aj khane me kia bnao’gi?

Wife:

wohi jo ap khaen

H:

dal chawal bna lo

W:

abi kal hi to khaye they

H:

to sabzi roti bna lo

W:

bache nhi khayen’ge

H:

to cholay puri bana lo

W:

mujhe heavy lagta hy

H:

anday aaloo bana lo

W:

phr subha nashte me kia khao’ge?

H:

parathay

W:

raat ko parathay kon khata hy?

H:

hotel se mangwa letay hain.

W:

roz roz hotel ka nhi khana chahye

H:

Kari chawal

W:

dahi nhi hy

H:

mattar

qeema?

W:

usme time lage’ga

pehle bolty aap

H:

maggi bana lo, usme time nhi lage’ga

W:

us say pait nhi bharta

H:

phir ab kia bnao’gi?

W:

“AAP BTAIN NA”…

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife

instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar:Your honour,

it’s easier to shoot a woman once,

than shooting one man every week.

Ek rat husband ny wife se pani manga or so gaya

Bivi sari raat khari rahi subha hoi

Husband: tum sari raat yaha khari rahi bolo kya chahye

Wife: Gussy se Talaq ;-)…

Shohar:

Ye lo

Sara din riksha chlaya,

500 kamaya or 350 ka tail dalwaya

Wife:

Ye lo

sirf 1 ghanta lagaya 5000 kamaya

or tail bhi usi ne lagaya.

Hsbnd apni wife ka jnaza lekr ja rha tha

Jnaze k agy ek kutta 0r piche aadmiyon ki Lmbi line thi

Ek aadmi akr pochta hy

?bhai ye sb kese hua

Hsbnd: Is kutte ne kaat lya tha

Aadmi: Ye kutta ek din k Lye mje dedo

Hsbnd: piche line me lag jao…..

Want to surprise your girlfriend?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Introduce her to your wife. :P…

Wife to Husband:

Ap aaj kahana paka rhay hain ya nhe?

Husbnd: Nhe na na khana pakaon ga na kapray dhoun ga na safai karonga…

Wife: Ok mai unit office may bol dyti hun k jalsay may nhi aa rhi wo waja pochain gay to bata dun ge..

Husband: Nhe bhae mai to mazak kar rha tha tum jao.

Wife.G A MQM.

DUZ DUZ:-D

Aik Sharabi ko Police Ne Raat 2 Bajey Rok k Poocha:

Itni Raat ko kahan Ja Rahey ho?

Sharabi:

Mein SHARAB or Smoking k insani Jism Per Parney Walay Asraat Per Lecture Sun’ney Ja Raha hoon..

Police Officer:

Really?

Ye to Bohat Achi Baat hay, Wese is Waqt Ye Lecture Kon Dega?

Sharabi:

Meri BV..!!

Man:Janab mAin 20 K/m pEr hR Ki RaftaAr sE Ja rAha thA,

Mgr PhIr bHi mEri cAr kO Taiz RaftaAri k ILzaAM Me bAnd kR Dia gYa,

Judge:Is baAT Ka kYA Saboot Hai?

K tUm sAch kAh rAhay hO?

Man:Janab iS Se bArh kR Or kYA ProOf hO Ga k uS WAqt mAin aPni b.V Ko Lenay SusraL Ja rAha thA,…

Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo Ge To Mere Jesi Biwi Nai Milegi..

Husband: Tumhe Kis Ne Kaha K Dusri Bar B Tumhare Jesi He Dhundunga? :…

Agr admi wife ki bat man le to:

Maa:

odi gal tay enj manda ae jenj unain jamya ay.

Agr admi maa ki bat man le to:

Wife:

viyah v maa nal e kara laina c 😉

Wife: mene apki

B-day pr itni mehngi chez li ha k ap dekhte hi khush ho jaogy.

Hsbnd: Shukar ha tumhe mera b khayal aya.

"Dikhao"

wife: Bs abi pehan k ai……

Wife: Wo samay jo admi drink ker raha hai,
usko main nay 10 saal pehlay shadi k
liye inkaar kia tha.
Aaj tak sharab pee raha hay!

Husband: Wow! itni lambi celebration!

Man to a Friend:I gifted my wife a Diamond Necklace and she didn’t speak to me for a month

Friend:Why?Thats very Foolish of Her

Man:Well that was THE DEAL….

1 Aurat ne New sim li or mobile main lagai

or faisla kia k shohar ko surprise degi

jo drawing room main betha tha

woh kitchen main gai

or shohar ko new number se call ki:

‘Hello Darling’

shohar ne halki awaz main jawab dia

‘tum mjhy bad main call karna

‘churail’

kitchen main he ha’

…*A w0man was kidnapped.

Kidnapper: cutt 0f her finger and sent it to her husband and demanded m0ney…

Husband replied: I want m0re prove

KH0PRI BHEJ KH0PRI…23*

Wife: If I removed da cook & make da food myself 4 a month,what will u pay me?

Husband: I don?t hav 2 pay u, u?ll get my entire insurance amount.;-)

…

What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world crying?
&
the other ensures U Continue to do so.

Advocate:Talak Karvane K Rs10,000 Lagenge.

Husband:Pagal Ho Kya?Pandit Ne Rs 101 Me Shadi Karvai Thi.

Advocat:Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija..lolz 😛 😛 😛

¤_¤

Wife: chaliye na!

Kahiin chalte hain,

or

Drive main karon gi.

Husband: is ka matlab hai k,,

jayen gay CAR main

or

Ayen gay AKHBAAR main…..

1 Admi Zor Zor Se Dua Mang Rha Tha ‘Ya Allah! Mujhy Chupkali Bana De’.

2nd Admi: Tm Ye Dua Q Mang Rhe Ho?

1st: Q K Meri B.v Sirf Chupkali Se Hi Darti He.

Husband: Today is sunday &

I have to enjoy it.

So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why three?

Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents

Admi Hotel Manager se:

Jaldi chalo Meri BV khirki se kood kr Jaan dena Chahti hai

Hotel Manager: To men kya karu?

Admi: Anni dya khirki nai khuldi pyi. . .

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:

Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.

Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

1 unparh Larki Ki Shadi 1 UK Return Admi Se Hogai.

1 Din Uska husband Khana Khate Hue gale me nivala phansne ki waja se Mar Gya

Larki us ki mot pe ro ro kar keh rahi thi….

Haye waay. . .

Pani V Nai Mangia Bs Water Water Krda Margya..:-P

A woman is completely harmless n does not believe in violence,she is like an angel,the most manered human being in d world

.

.

.

Until her nail polish dries:-P

‘The First sign of old age is when. . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

your wife starts trusting you.’:

Husbnd: Yaar maine naye detergent se apni shirt dhoyi aur woh chhoti ho gayi, ab kya karun?

Wife: Usi detergent se ek baar khud naha lei’n_

Larki ki Aadhi Zindagi Husband Ki Talash main,

Aur

Baqi Zindagi Husband ki Talashi Layne main Guzar jaati hai…..

(,’) Begum

/) )20 Rupy To

_/ /_Chor do…

Marriage Tip:

If Wife Wants To Get

Husband’s Attention,

Just Look

Sad & Uncomfortable.

If Husband Wants To Get

Wife’s Attention,

Just Look

Comfortable & Happy … =P 😉 …

Wife- ap Mujhe kisi mehangi jaga le ke chaliye na

.

.

.

Husband- Chalo tayyar ho jao

.

.

.

.

.

‘Petrol pump’ chaltay hain..

Man 2 psychiatrist:

Aisa kya kiya jaye k hum mard har tarah se apni biwio se khush rahe?

Psychiatrist kaan me bola:

khamoshi se tv-cables kaat di jaye;->…

Bahu: ye abhi tak nahi aye, maaji kahin ye kisi larki k saath……..

Saas: arey kalmuhi jab sochegi bura hi sochegi, ho sakta hai kisi truck k niche aagya ho.,.,.,.,

Aik bivi bohat naik thi,shohar ko paas na aney deti k gunah hai.

Shohar ne molvi ko masla btaya.

Molvi ne kaha,

usay kaho paas aney se aik Kafir maarnay ka sawab hota hai.

Shohar ne aisa kaha, aur bivi maan gai.

Bohat mazza aya. Kuch deir baad bivi boli, ayen ji aik aur kafir marein. Shohar ready ho gya. Kuch dair baad phir, phir, phir….

Shohar: Bs kr do ab tou momin bhi shaheed honay wala hai.

Man to Barber: Cut my hair Short.

.

Barber: How short You would like to?

.

.

.

.

Man: So Short that My Wife Cannot pull them…

Ek Bacha apni Maa se pitnay k baad Papa kabhi aap jungle gaye ho?

Papa: Nahi beta .

Bacha: Phir itna Khaternaak item kahan se pakra tha

Wife:?Tum ny kahbi socha hai k meri shaadi kisi aur sy ho jati to kitna acha hota??

Husband:?Nahi! Main kisi aur admi ka bura nahi cha sakta?

…

What Is The Next Thing

A Man Should Do After

Winning An

Argument With His Wife ?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Apologise !!!;)…

Only man knows a Man`s nature..

Customer: I need a Ladies suit…

shopkeeper:

Begum k liye chahiye ya koi achha sa dikhaon? 🙂

(03006329056)

1 Aurat ka husband gum ho gaya.

Wo apni paronsan k sath report darj karwanay police station gai or apne husband ka huliya btaya.

Handsome

Lamba qad

Gora rang

Gaal pe dimple.

Parosan: jhoot q bol rahi ho?

Tumhara husband to kala,chote qad ka or mota ha.

Aurat: jo gaya so gaya,

jo aye wo to acha ho:-)!

Asian man will have a wife and a girlfriend and will love his wife more.

A black man will have 2 wives and 5 girlfriends and will love his 1st wife more.

A white man will have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends and will love his girlfriends more.

An Pakistani man will have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends …and he still loves his mummy more….

Ek Padri Dosray Se Yaar Meri B.V Ghar Baar Sab Kuch Le Lia Or Talaaq De Dia,

Doosra Padri:(Rotay Huay)

Yaar Tum To Buhat Khushnaseeb Ho Meri Begum Ne Mujh Se Pran,Pardhan,Izat,Dolat Sb Kuch Le Lia Or Talaaq phr Nai Dia….

Kitnay armano se shadi ki rat ko ghongat uthaya mene faraz,

wo bary pyar se kan main boli,

.

tenu dulha kinay banaya bhootneeday.

A Person Went to his Neighbour,

Where an Old Couple Lived.

He Went Inside Where he Found that the Old Man still called her Wife with Cute Names like Sweety, Honey, Jasmine etc.

Man to the Old Man: It’s sweet… After 70 Years you still call your wife with such Cute Names.

The Old Man replied (Whispering):

Her Name had Slipped off My Mind 10 Years Ago

&

I am Very Scared to Ask What It Is..!!;-)

?Friendship Among Women?

A woman didn?t come home @ night. The next day she told her husband she?d slept over at a friend?s house

The man called his wife?s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it

?Friendship among Men?

A man didn?t come home 1 night. The next day he told his wife he slept over at a friend?s house

The woman called her husband?s 10 best friends. 8 of them said, he did sleep over and 2 claimed, he wz still there !

…

aik shoping mall mein daketi k duran daku nay aik bandy say pochta hai k tum nay kia muje daketi karte huye daikha hai to wo kehta hai k han to daku us ko goli mar deta hai phr daku aik aur bandy say pochta hai k kia tum nay muje daketi karty huye daikha hai kia to wo kehta hai k mein nay to ni daikha lekin meri bewi nay daikha hai.

Wife:-I will die. Husband:- I will also die. Wife:-why will you die? Husband:-because main itni khushi bardasht nahin ker sakta

…

A fact about women:

They can see a hair of a girl on their husband’s coat from 20 meters away, but they can’t see a pillar from two meters while parking a car…..

Larki saath ho to

Hotel Bill..

Larki Door ho to

Mobile Bill..

Or

Larki Naraz ho jaye to

Gifts ka Bill

Is liye

Na lagao Dil..

Na aayega Bill

Life is Achi

WithOut any Bachi..

No Love,

No Tension,

No Wife

Happy & Easy Life.

A Public Service Msg by

GirlFriend se mehroom Group.

Wife husband say :

aji sontay ho main aaj kal bohat kubsort hoti ja rahi hon

Husband:

tumhay kis nay kaha?

wife:

meri khubsorti daikh ker aab rotian bhi jelnay lagi hain

Wife:Agar mein koh gayi to tum kya karoge?

Husband: Mein akhbar mein ad don ga

JAHAN RAHO KHUSH RAHO. …

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:

“Aadmi ushi ko marta hai jis se Pyar kerta hai.”

Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maray aur Boli

“Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyar nahi kerti”

1 admi Ki Wife Mar gai.

Dost Usko Chup Karane K Bad:

‘Tuje Kuch Chahiye?

Admi:

Laptop La Do

Dost:

Woh kion?

Admi:

‘Facebook Pe Status to Single ker don’.

Santa :Judge Sahab, Mujhe Talaq Chahiye

Pichhle Ek Saal Se Meri Biwi Ne Mujhse Baat Nahi Ki.

Judge :Ek Baar Firse Sochle, Aisi Biwi Kismat Se Milti Hai !!!

…