How to create biggest doubt in your Wife’s Mind for You

Just suddenly send her a SMS saying ‘I Love u too’….

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Game Over !!! 😉

Aik professor ne apni Biwi se kaha ,dekho tum har waqt mujh per ghaib damaaghi ka ilzaam lagaati ho ,laikin aaj main saleem ke ghar se apni aor tumhaari dono ki chatriaan(umbrela)uthaa laya hoon,Biwi…Laikin hum dono mein se koi bhi wahan chatri le kar nahi gaya….

Wife: ‘Shadi se pehle tou tum mujhe roz gift diya karte the tou ab kyun naheen dete?’

Husband: ‘Machhli pakadne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai???’

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream

That u were sending me

Jewelry and clothes!

Husband: yeah, I saw

your dad paying the bill !!!

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.

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Because They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

aik admi apnee biwi k hr kam me nuks nikalta tha

agar wo anda boil ker dati tu kehta k fry kerna tha

agar fry krti to kehta k boil

kerna tha

aik din biwi ne dono bana liye

pehle tu wo dono andoon ko ghour say dekhta raha

phir kehnay laga ..

?tumhay akal kaab aiy gee .. jis anday ko fry kerna tha us ko boil ker dia aur jis ko

boil kerna tha us ko fry.. ? . . . . . . . ["!"]

…

WIFE-Kyu Ji,

Jab B Me Aapke

Pas Aati Hu To Aap Chasma

Pahen Lete Ho?

HUSBAND-Doctor Ne Kaha Hai

Jab SIR-DARD Aaye To

Chasma Pahen Lena!

…

A man meets a frnd aftr a long time & notices he is wearing an earing.

“Wen did u start wearing Earing?”

Friend: Ever since my Wife found one in my Car!! ;->…

Wife:

Aaj koi aisi baat kaho k me khush b ho jaon

or jal b jaon,

Husbnd: Tum meri zindgi ho

Wife: Or, or kya?

Husbnd:

aur Lanat hai aisi zindgi pe .

Man To Doctor-

Every Night My Wife Goes To Bar & Sleeps With Anyone

Who Proposes Her.

Doctor-Relax & Calm Down &

Now Tell

Which Bar ??

…

Railway Stati0n py sh0har biwi k0 leny gaya

Biwi: Dekh0 w0 aadmi kitna khush dikhaai dy raha hy 0r tum,

Sh0har: W0 apni Biwi k0 chh0rny aaya hy,

leny nahi.

Admi ki shirt per 1 line likhi huwi thi.

‘sari larkiya churale’n han,

Lekn mri wife Queen ha..

‘Un sab ki’

Wife cOmes hOme Late at Night &Quietly Opens the dOor tO

Her BedrOom.

From under the Blanket She Sees 4 Legs Instead Of 2.

She reaches for a Baseball Bat & Starts hitting the Blanket as

Hard as She can.

Once She’s dOne, She gOes tO

The Kitchen tO have a drink..

As She Enters, She Sees Her Husband there, Reading a Magazine..

“Hi Darling” He say; YOur Parents have cOme tO Visit us,

sO I Let them stay in Our BedrOom.

Hope U have said Hello!…

# Aik Admi Ki Wife Margai

Dost Usko Chup Karane K

Bad-Tuje Kuch Chahiye?

Admi-Jaldi Laptop Le Aa

Dost-Q?

Admi -Facebook Pe Status Change Karke Single Krana Hai 😛

What’s Common Between

Clouds And Wife…..? ???

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When Both Are Not Around,

We Call It A Pleasant Day.. ;)…

Nobody teaches

volcanoes 2 erupt

tsunamis 2 arise

hurricanes 2 sway around

n

no-one teaches how 2 choose a wife.

Natural disasters just happen.!.!.!. =P ;->…

Shadi ki 14th ANNIVERSARY pe HUSBAND gehri soch me tha.

Wife: Kya soch rahay ho?

Husband: Yad hy,

Jub tumharay abu ne date pe pakra tha,

Or kaha tha,

Ya to meri beti se shadi kro,

Ya 14 saal k lye Jail jao,

Wife (smiles): Yes

Husband: Agr Me sahi faisla kerta to,

Aaj Azad ho jata.

Ek admi shadi ke bad apni biwi se bola:

Aj se tum he meri kaainat ho,roshni ho,muskaan ho

Biwi:

Mere liye bhi aj se ap hi,Irfan ho, usman ho..numan ho..

1970,

dulha jahez me radio mangta tha,

1980,

cycle

1990,

bike

2000,

car

2011,

bas bina boyfriend wali dulhan dedo baki me kama loon ga sab.

Husbnd : Kya Tumne Mujhe KUTTA Kaha?

No Ans.

Husbnd Again Asks, No Ans.

Then Again He Asks,

Wife: Nahi Kaha.

Plz Ab Bhoka Na Bandh Karo :D…

Wife: Chalo na aaj bahar chalte hain aur driving main karongi

Husband: Ohooo ! Matlab jayenge car main aur ayenge akhbaar main.:-)

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend

“U r my Best Friend”

But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife

“U r my Best Wife?” ;P…

1 dulhan kaam nahi karti thi.

Us ki saas apne betey se boli k mein jharoo don gi to tum bolna k ammi rehne dein mein de deta hon.

Is tarah isko sharm æy gi..

Jab saas jhaaro dene lagi to beta bola k mein deta hon.

Us pe dulhan boli keh is mein larne ki kia baat hai ek din aap dein ek din ami de dein gi.

LoVe Is LiFe ,LiFe Is WiFe ,wIfE Is kNiFe , & kNiFe iS ThE eNd oF LiFe 🙁 🙁 🙁

Bach k rehna ray baba 😀 😀 😀 😀

Message of the year:

Women live a better,

longer & peaceful life.. !!

Why?

Very simple?..

A woman does not have a wife !!!!

…

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend

mein galian kion de rahey thai?

Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..

Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?

Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha

Height of Misunderstanding

Biwi Ghusay me:

Mera Jeena Haram H0 gaya hai. Main Yeh Ghar chor k Ja rahi hun’

Husband:

‘Jan Choro! Khuda k wastay’.

Biwi wapas atay huay:

‘1 To ap ki Adat Boht Buri hai.

Hamesha Jaan keh k aur Khuda K wastey De k rok letey hain…

Wife:Bht pyar se

‘Suniye! aaj meri salgirah ha,

Mujhe koi Mehngi Cheez Le K Dain Na Plz’

Hsbnd: Chalo Tm

Tayyar Ho Jao,

‘Hm Cheeni Lene Chalte Hain’

Man : My wife is toooooo good. She can talk on any subject for hours.

Friend : Ahh!!! my wife is better, she does not even need a subject to talk about!…

kia ap ko pata hai jo kal ki date guzar gai us se allaha ka name parta tha wo aisay k

4 1 11

4_1_1 1

zara ghoor karain

Dulhan apne Nabina shohar se:

kash apki ankhain hoti to ap mera husn dekh sakte,

Shohar:

Tum haseen hoti to kya ankhon walay tumhen mere liay chorty….?

1 aurat 2sri sy,

Mujhy apny shohr pe shak hy,wo kisi larki sy milta hy.

2sri aurt,

Phir tum kia karogi..?

1st,

Me aj hi apny boyfrnd ko shohar k pechy lgati hon…

Wife: Ik bat bolun?

Husband: Bolo!

Wife: Maaro ge to nahi?

Hsbnd: Arey Jan Nai kiya baat hai?

Wife: Me maa banne wali hoon,

Husband: HURRAY!

Its a very good news, dar Q rahi thi?

Wife: College k dinon me papa ko bataya tha to bari maar pari thi…

On 20th Anniversary husbnd deep in thought..

Wife: Wat r u thinking?

Husbnd: Do u remember when ur dad caught us dating?

Wife’s heart melts, thinks its sweet of him 2 still remembr that date

Husbnd: He pointed his gun at me & said either marry my daughter or go 2 jail for 20 years

Wife smiles ”Yes”

Husbnd sighs n says: Aaaaaaahhh!

i would’ve been free today!:-D…

Hospital me 2 aurton ka operation ho ra tha. 2no k shohar pareshani me tehal rhe thy

.

Achank 1 nurse bahr nikli. us k hath me 1 kalay rang ka bacha tha.

Bchy ko dekh k 1 admi uski trf bhaga or kaha: ye mera bcha he

.

Nurse ne herani se pocha:apko kese pta

.

Shohar:meri bv ki adat ha hr chez jala deti he

In art gallery couple sees

picture of a girl covered by leaf.

Husband keeps watching.

Wife: ab chalo gay ya PAT JHARR

ka intezar kertay raho gay…

Biwi:

meri sharfat dekho

mein ne tumhein baghair dekhe shadi ki .

Shohar:

Aur meri Himmat dekho

Main ne dekh ke bhi Karli.

Shadi k pehly din husband k mobile may wife ka nam

My sweet wife

3 month baad

My wife

6 month baad

Home

1 year baad

Unkown No.

2 year

Wife:

Aap Mujhe Kitna Pyar Karte Ho,

Hus:

SHAH JAHAN jitna

Wife:

Mere Marne k bad TAJ MAHAL banaoge

Hus:

Main ne to Plot b le lia ha Susti to tum kar rahi ho

Lrkian apne shohor ko ‘A.G’Q kehti ha? Q K Lrkian tamezdar hoti hai.

Sub k saamne ‘Abey Gadhey’ nahi keh sakti,

Isliye short form me bolti he. A G.sunty ho.;-)

Shohar:BV se munna kabse ro ro kar halkan horha ha ise loori suna k sula kyun nhi deti?

BV: Loori de kr sulati hoon to parosi kehte hain k munNe ko hi rone do!…

Biwi kitchen se boli:

Sunte ho Main Din Ba Din khubsurat Hoti Ja Rahi hun

Shohar: Acha

Wo kaise?

Biwi:

Ab to Mujh se Rotiyan b Jalne Lagi hainB-)

Agr Aadhi Raat Ko Shoher Ka Dil Kry

Or

ßv Ka Mood Na

Ho

To

Shoher Ko

Chahye

K

ßv Ko Tang Na

Kry

.

Uth K Khud Pani Pee Lay

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??

Wife remains silent ……

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??

Wife : Abbe gin ne to De….

Patni: Dear Mujhe Is Birthday Pe Sab Se Costly Gift Chahiye..

Pati: Thik Hai..

Patni:Kya Doge?

Pati: ? 20 Liter Petrol ?

…

1st dost yar tum dono ki bv raat ko tumhary bahar rahny per danti hai

2nd nahi khush hoti hai

1st wo koun

3rd Main chal jata houn

Hahahahahahahah

Modern Definition of ”WIFE”

someone who’ll stand by you

though all the troubles which you

wouldn’t have had if you had

stayed single…….

husband or wife ghomane gaye.raste me gadha ghaskha raha tha,

wife boli;,wo dekho tumhara rishtedar ghas kha raha hai salam karo, husband bola salam susar g

Wife: What is 10 years with me?

Husband: A second.

Wife: What is $1000 for me?

Husband: A Coin.

Wife: Ok give me a Coin.

Man: Wait a second!…

Husband: tum aesi roti nahi bana sakhti jesi meri ammi pakati thi.

Wife: paka sakti hun agar tum be aeisa aata goondo jesa tumhare abbu goonda krty thy….

Husband:

Kal mere khawab m ek larki aye thi.

Wah!Kia larki thi

Wife:

Akeli ayee hogi?

Husband:

Tumko kese pata?

Wife:

Uska husband mere khawab me aya tha.

A famous inspirational speaker said:

“Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife”

Audience was in shock and silence..

He added: “She was my mother”

A big round of applause & laughter!

A very daring Husbnd tried to crack this at home

After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:

“Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife” Standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker

By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water!

Moral: Don’t Copy if u can’t Paste!…

?Advertise 4m an airLINE?

Agr hus & wife hmaray aeroplane me ikhtay safar krien to unhain 50 % discount milay ga.

?After 2 weeks?

Publication section write letter to all passenger?s wives about services.

All wives replied:Hum nE kab safar kia hai?…

Ek aadmi ghabraya hoa police station pr aaya aur bola…

Muje girftaar kr lijye main ne apni bivi k ser pr danda mara hai.

Inspctor: kiya wo mar gye?

Aadmi: nahi wo danda lye mere peche aa rahi hai. :-)…

Biwi(Ghusse Main):

Tumhare Dimagh Main To

Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!

Husband (Pyar Se):

To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho?.??

If Columbus had been married he would have never discovered America cuz –

1-Where are u going ?

2-With whom ?

3-To discover what ?

4-Can I come ?

5-When are you coming back ?

6-Can’t you work from home?,

7-Can you take mom-in-law with u as well?

8-What will you bring for me?

9-Do call me when u reach there?

10-wapsi pay timatar aur dahi laitey aana :D…

“A TRUE THOUGHT”

“One Who Doesnt Love

A Girl Before His Marriage

Can Never Love His

Wife After Marriage;-)”…

Professor sahab aap ki aasabi beemari ka kya haal hai?

Jawab mila: Theek hai, aaj kal maikay gae hoi hai.

Wife- Main maike ja rahi hoon,tujhe tallak ki notice bhej dungi!

Husbnd-‘Ja ja, mithi-mithi batein karke mujhe khush karne Ki koshish mat kar.

Wife: Suno ji, Is Haftey Hum Roz Cinema Dekhne Jaayenge.

Uske Agle Hafte hum Roz Shopping K Liye Jaayenge.

Husband: Aur Uske Agle Haftey Roz Mandir Jaayenge.

Wife: Kyo?

Husband- Bheek Mangenge. :)…

Aik aadmi najoomi se…

Baba: meri shaadi kyun nahi ho rahi ?

Najoomi:

kaisy ho gi,

Haath ki lakeeron ma sukh hi sukh likha hy Beta…

NAwAAb tO hiS BeguM: HATA Lo ApNe ChAhre Se Ye ZuLfE, Ae JAAnE-E-TAmAnnA , , ,

?

?

?

AgLi BaAr KhAAnE Me BaAL AAY

Ek admi apni biwi ko dafna kar ghar aya to ASMAN per bijli karakne lagi aur toofan aa gaya,

admi asman ki taraf dekh kr bola lagta hy’PONCH GAI’…..

Hsbnd:Ek writer ne likha ha k

‘Shohar ko b Ghr k Mamlo me bolne ka Haq hona chahye

Wife

Wo Bechara b dekho Likh hi paya

Bol Nhi Ska.

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shootingher lover?

Sardar:Your honour,
it�s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.

Wife: Jab tum Chars pety ho to mujhe ‘Paro’ kehty ho.

Jab VISKY pety ho to ‘Darling’ kehty ho.

Aaj khamosh Q ho?

Husband:

Aaj me hosh me hon ‘Marasan’.

Wife(sorrowfull m?oD):Afirica me sirf 20 doll?RZ me wife purchase kr saktay hain,

Husband:yes my de?r..! Illegal profit ki bemari pori dunia me phEL gai ha?. .>…

Husband to wife: agr meri lotery nikly to tm kya kro gi?

Wife: me aadi raqam le kr bhag jaoun gi,

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Husband:100 ki nikli hai ye lo 50 or dfa ho jao…

Patni pati se: Aji, agar me gum ho gai to tum kya karoge?

Pati: Its the time to disco,

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_/”_

kon dhondega tujh ko, kabhi na mile tu muj ko!…

*. . .Wife:

Janu Ek Puppy do na.

Pathan: Uff Farmaish Dekho….

Ghar mein khane ko Paise nahi hain aur is ko Kuttay ka Bacha chahiye. . .*

rOcKINGSsS, , , ,

Wife(Standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled & no longer pretty. Will u still give me any compliment?

Husband:

ur eyesight is still excellent

<('.')
/”/> tXt

_/”_K죣

Aadmi Apni Biwi Se:

Begam Dekho Aaj Main Tumhare Liye Kelay, Kheeray, Gaajar Aur Mooli Le Kr Aaya Hoon…

Biwi: Kyun, Aap Kahin Ja Rahy Hyn Kia…? =P =D…

Wife: ap apnay best freind ki BV k janazay pay nahi gay.

Husband:kis moo say jaon.

wo mujay 3rd BV K janazay pay bula raha hai

Aur

Mein ne1 dafa b nahi bulaya…

Woman Buys A New Sim

Card Puts It In Her Phone

And Decides To Surprise Her

…Husband Who Is Seated On

The Couch In The Living Room.

She Goes To The Kitchen,

Calls Her Husband With

The New Number:

“Hello Darling”

The Husband Responds

In A Low Tone:

“Let Me Call U Back

Later Honey, The Dumb

Lady Is In The Kitchen.. =P …

Man Was Complaining 2 A Frnd

I’d It All

Money, A Beautiful House, A Big Car, D Luv Of A Prety Gal Thn Its

All Gone

Frnd: Wht Hapend?

Man: My Wife Found Out :)…

Husband or Wife me Jhagra ho gaya to Wife ne apni Maa ko fone kiya:

Ammi mera unse jaghra ho gaya he me 3, 4 maah k liye aap k ghar aa rahi hun

Maa boli: usey apne kiye ki saza puri puri milni chahiye

tum wahin raho 3, 4 mahine k liye me aa rahi hon……

Patni- ‘Kyo ji! Agar mai rasoiye ko hataakar kal se aapko

apne haath ka khaana khilau to mujhe kya milega?’

Pati- ‘Meri beema policy ki poori rakam|’

When A Married Man Says:

“I’ll Think About It” ,

What He Really Means That,

He Doesn’t Know His Wife’s Opinion Yet… =P =D…

Shohar or BV me baat cheet band thi

1 Subha Shohar ko jaldi jana tha

usne Kaghaz pe likha:

Mujhe Subha 7 bajy utha dena or Kaghaz BV k Takiye k nichy rakh diya

Subha Shohar ki Ankh khuli to 8 baj rahy thy

Wo Ghussy se utha to dekha k Takiye k paas 1 kaghaz para tha or likha tha:

7 BAJ RAHY HEN, UTH JAO.

…

Wife: Wherever We Keep D Money,

Our Son Steals It.

I Don’t Know What To Do About It

Hus: Keep It In His ENGINEERING Books.

He’ll Never Touch!

…

Biwi: Sunien,shakeela k husband usse bohot pyar karte hain,Subha pyar,Shaam pyar,Tum itna pyar kab karo ge?Miyan:arey wo choray to mujhe moqa milay na….

Larki_me shadi k bad tumhare sare dukh bant lungi

Larka_lekin mujhe tu k0i dukh hai hi nhi

Lrki_me shadi k bad ki baat kr rahi hun.

Wife: Darling! Kuch Saal Pehly mera Figure COKE Bottle jesa Tha na?

Husband: Figure To Aaj B Coke jesa Hi hy

Pehly 15 wali bottle thi ab 85 wali jumbo!

Wife or Husband shop se nikle to ek faqeer ne kaha..

‘Shehzadi’

5 rupe de dey andha hoon.

Husband:

De do,

Tumhen Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha hi hoga..

wife : ab ki bar tume phir job na mili toh main meake chali jaaon gi

Hubsnd: thandi aah bhar ka bola wade wade sirf wade,

bahir b wade ghar pe b sirf wade

…

Wife : janu batao tum mujhse kitna pyar krtay ho

Husband : bahut zyada

Wife : phir b kitna

Hsbnd : itna k dil chah raha hai tumhari jesi 1 aur le Aaun..

…