When im gone tell him how much

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When I-‘m gone,
Tell him how much I loved him,
Tell him what he meant to me,
&tell him how much he hurt me.
Tell him about all the time I wasted,
Tell him how the end result was a broken heart
& tell him how much I cried.
Tell him how much I worried over him getting hurt,
Tell him how much I prayed for his safety,
& tell him how I tried to protect him.
Tell him how seeing him killed me,
Tell him about the hurt I had to live with
&tell him that I thought he didn-‘t care.
Tell him how long I waited for his texts,
Tell him how tempted I was to call
&tell him how I wanted to talk to him.
Tell him how much I wanted to scream,
Tell him how much the pain over whelmed me
&tell him how I was hardly living.
Tell him how I couldn-‘t concentrate,
Tell him how I couldn-‘t eat
&tell him how I couldn-‘t sleep.
Tell him about all my diaries,
Tell him about all the poems I wrote
& tell him about all those letters.
Tell him about all the blades I used,
Tell him about all the blood that poured
&tell him about all the overdoses I took.
Tell him how my health disintegrated,
Tell him how ill I became
& tell him how many times I tried to take my life.
Tell him how I couldn-‘t handle the pain,
Tell him how I couldn-‘t tolerate the hurt
&tell him how I thought life was nothing without him.
Tell him when I-‘m gone,
Tell him until he understands
&tell him until he feels what I felt.
Tell him I loved him,
Tell him I love him,
&tell him I always will.
Tell him I-‘ll be waiting for him,
Tell him I-‘ll be up there somewhere watching over him,
&tell him I-‘ll be praying that he joins me one day,
But make sure you tell him when I-‘m gone!