India mai Jb ayi Holi

Ek Choot jhom ke boli

Koi mere sath bi Khele Holi

Lundo ne banai toli

Raat bhar Choot tatoli

Subah uth ke Choot boli

Maa Chudae aesy holi

6 doston ki suhaag raat k bd next day baat cheet..

1st bola:

‘Meri BV to Nokia 1110 jaisi hy..

Jese mrzi use kro’.

2nd:

‘Mere BV 3310 nikli..

36 saal ka purana model’.

3rd:

‘Meri BV N95..

Zara piyar se chalana parta hai’.

4th:

‘Meri BV to Blackberry hy..

Got everything but complicated’.

5th:

‘Meri BV saali china mobile hy..

Pehli raat main behosh ho gae’.

6th:

‘Bechara Rotey hove bola..

Oy yaro lut gya, barbad ho gya,

Mera set khula hua nikla??

Sir miss k mammay daba rahy thy k ek bachy ne dekh lia.

Sir: Beta apki miss k seenay me dard hai is liye daba raha hon.

Bacha: Bhosri k lanat teri shakal par, Bacha hon koi chutia nahi hon.

Ek orat murgi walay k pas gai..or boli koi achi c murgi dikhao?..

Murgi wallay ne pehli murgi dikhai’

Orat ne usay kiss kia boli nahi ye karachi ki hai koi or dikhao,

Dusri murgi ko kiss krnay k baad boli ye faisalabad ki hai,

Teesri murgi ko kiss krnay k baad boli haan ye Lahor ki hai,ye de do..

Pesay denay k bad orat boli ay bhai tum kahan k ho..?

Murgi walla sharmatay huay ab ye bhi ap khud hi check kar ke bta di jiay…..

‘Mujhay uski Phudi key ‘Zoq-E-Kamaal’ ki inteha to nahe malom…,

‘Lekin jis Phudi mein ‘Mera Lun’ samaa jaye Osey kisi aur ka acha nahe lagta…’

Aaj b raat ko jub bacha nahi sota to maa kehti hai,

So ja Munna so ja.,

Werna,

.

.

.

.

Werna..

Doosra Munna kese aaye ga…!

Hamre ustad ji ne farmya k. Beta.G Hamesha . . Machi aur Bachi khud pakar ke khao to mza he. Lun aur Qanoon kabhi haath main na lo, Nokri or tatton pe kabhi laat na maro. Larki jitni marzi lambi ho lun let kar hi leti hai. Lohe pr hathora or choot pr lora tab maro jab wo garm ho. Kismt ki karni choot ki garmi or lun ki besharmi nai rukti. Or ehtyat se sex karo kyun k. Bandoq se nikli fulad or pait se nikli oulad kabi wapis nai jati.

1 larki ne 6 bachon ko 1 sath janam dia.

Wo Bed se utr kr husband ko thaparr mar k boli :

Main ne kaha tha na

Kuttay wala style theek nahi,

ab sambhalo…

In the end, everything is a gag

True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.

Comedy is a tragedy plus time.

Main to U hi udas betha pani me pathar phenk raha tha

‘FARAZ’

,

,

,

Achanak 1 magar mach nikla or bola

,

,

,

‘Pani me Aa Teri GAND marta hun’.

(-_-)ye hai mera khubsurat Face

Ab Neche Kiya Mera Lun bhi Dekhna Hy?

Le Dekh Le

l (

c:::::: )

l /

Ab Khush :

Tere Waade Pe Hum Ne Bharosa Kiya…,

Kuchh To Ulfat Ka Tum Bhi Haq Nibhaaya Karo…,

Hum Bhi Hamraaz Hain Tum Bhi Hamraaz Ho…,

Dil Ki Baat Humse Na Chhupaaya Karo..!!!

A jest often decides matters of importance more effectual and happily than seriousness.

Mai Karta Raha Tujh Se Payar Ka Izhar

Tu Todti Rahi Mera Dil Bar Bar

Tadapta Raha Mai Teri Ek Haan K Liye

Aur Ye Zamana Husta Raha Mujh P Hur Baar

Hato Ki Lakiro Ko Bhi Na Tha Gawara

Meri Kismat Me Kahan Thi Teri Mohabbat

Mere Mukaddar Me Kahan Tha Tera Pyar

Jinki talash me kadam khud nikal gaye,

Jinki yado me ye arman pighal gaye,

khoza tha jinko sare jahan me,

palke band ki to wo Dil me hi mil gaye

Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another’s heart, or its flame burns low.

~ Henry Ward Beecher

Us ne kaha tmhain mjhse ktna pyar hy

Maine kaha sitaro ka koi shumar hy

Usne kaha kon tmhe subse ziada azeez hy

Maine kaha dil per jis ka ikhtiyar hy

Usne kaha konsa tohfa hy tmhe pasnd

Maine kaha woHI JO TM per udhar hy

To handle yourself, use your head;

To handle others, use your heart.

Sardar ne lrki sy jhgra krty krty lrki k nechy ungli rakh di.

Larki boli: Teri ye himat?

Sardar bola: Tm ne he to kaha tha ungli nechy rakh k baat kro.!

Rishta hamara is jahan main sabse pyara ho,

Jaise zindagi ko sanso ka sahara ho,

Yaad rakhna,

Humey us pal me bhi tum,

Jub tum akele ho aur koi na tumhra ho.

Har dhadkan mein ek raaz hota hai,

Har baat ko batane ka ek andaz hota hai,

Jab tak thokar na lage bewafai ki,

Har kisi ko apne pyar par naaz hota hai

Love is like playing the piano.

First you must learn, to play by the rules.

Then u must forget the Rules and Play from your heart

1 punjabi masjid me elaan krne gya to usy bari maar pari

Q k

wahan mike me current tha

Punjabi mike ko Hath

lgaty he bola

Hazraaat

O tohadi pehn nu yawan.

Paas aakar yun hum tum dur kyon ho gaye

Pal bhar mein hi khayal kyon tinko mein bikhar gaye

Teri mauzudgi ka ehsaas ab tanhayee main hota hai

Jab aankon se teri yaad paani bankar nikalti hai

woh hume bulne ki baat karte hai

zara unse pucho who hume kab yaad karte hai

Jo karte the kabhi humse bahot mohabbat

Aaj akele rehne ki baat karte hai-Hassan

SON:Mom Ap Roz Papa Pe Char k Jump Q Krti Ho?

MOM.: Papa k Pait Ki Hawa Nikalti hon.

SON:Kya Faida Kaam wali Papa Ki Pent Khol k Moo Se phir Bhar deti hai.

Mre Aise Aise Lund Dost

Hn K,

Bs Kiya Bataun?

Pata b he me Gali De rha

Hon,

Phr b Chuttu Ki Tarha Msg

Parh Rha he,

Gandu Tujhe Keh Rha Hon,

Beghairat Besharm.

Bhosri K.

Thori b Shram he t0 Agy

Mt Parh,

Ab b Parhega Gaand Me Keera Jo he,

Le Parh Le Bhosri K Bharwe,

Rply

Me Gaali Likhi To Chod Dunga.

Tu ne dekha he nahi raat ka manzar jaana,

Kis tarha chand chamakta
hai teri deed k bad…

Ek larki ka rape ho gya…

Uski maa us se boli:

Beti ab tera kya hoga?

Haramzado ne teri Izzat loot li..

.

.

Larki:

Maa tu preshan na ho…

wo sb pathan thay…

Izzat bhi bach gae or QABZ bhi toot gya…

*Why do we fall in love?

Experience ki kami..

*Why do we break up in love?

Patience ki kami..

*Then why do we want to fall in love again?

Dimag ki kami 🙂

Ek Ameer Ghareeb se: Ye tumhari Lulli itni bari kyun hai ?

Ghareeb:

Zoor se hans k bola Kyon k BACHPAN main mere paas koi aur KHILONA nahi tha..:!.

khushbu to kuch hi pal ki mehmaan hai..

thoda sukoon diya aur udne ki firak me rahti hai….

pyaar ko ham apne wo hawa banana chahate the

jo teri yaad bankar harpal hamse lipate rahti hai

Bdmash Ek Lrki ko utha kr le gaia’

or

us ka rape krna shoro kr dia’

Rape krty huwe us ne Lrki se kaha:

Kahan hai tumara Aashiq agr us main himmat hai to samny Aaye?

Lrki ko maza Aa rha tha’ Kehne lgi:

Aah!

us namard ka naam mt lo’

Aah!

Tum apna kaam kro or us khusry ko sms prhne do’!’

Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth

which is 6? long

and move it in and out

and wait for a white substance to come out?

Girl: y do u ask such question to me.

i cant tell such words

Boy:dont worry its tooth brush

BREAKING NEWS..~Bazar-e-Hussun MeinAag lag gayee, Raat gaye Fire Brigade Ka ammlay ne Aag per qabooo pa liya,Magar ammlay per qabooo abhi tak nahi paya ja saka………!!!!!

1 Orat apne bachey ko DØØDH pilatey huay boli’

.

.

.

‘Pee ley BHOSRI K pee ley. Poora muhalla in Mammon k liye pagal hy or tere nakhre he khatm nhi ho rahy’:-

Pichli Line m betha bacha: miss mera shoe lace khul gaye hy plz meri help kr dain. Miss pas i or jab lace tie krne k liye jhuki to dekha k bacha us k boobs dekh raha hai. Miss: haramzade is liye mujhe bulaya? Bacha: nhi madam baki sari class ko aap ki gand dikhani […]

Teacher:

Batao Angraiz Log Goray Paida Hotay Hain Or Hum Kaalay.

AYSA Kyøn?

Student:

Kyon K Wahaan Ponds Cream Laga K SEX Hota Hai

Or

Yahan Sarson Ka Tail Laga K.

Us ne phir mera haal pocha hai,

Kitna mushkil sawal pocha hai,

Hichkiyun ka ajeeb lehja Tha,

Baat ko taal taal pocha hai,

Tum mujhe chohr to na jao ge,

Wastey daal daal pocha hai,

Aansu’on ki zuban mein us ne,

Jitna pocha kamal pocha hai,

Kia kabhi mil sakein ga hum 2no,

Mujh se mera khayal pocha hai??

~~~M’E~~~

1 kapray wala aik larki ko rate btata hai B.B,dopaty vicho sanu kuj nai labda,

Kamez vichon fer v do lab jande ne,

Shalwar vich tay sanu pallayon pana painda a.s

Jab bhi lab khulte hen to dua mangte hen,

Hum tere dil men thori si panah mangte hen,

Bhula na dena kabhi dil se humen, Tum se umar bhar ki wafa mangte hen

1 Pathan Skooter Rok K Helmet par kharish kr rha tha

1 Admi Bola Khan,Helmet tu Utaro

Pathan Bola tumhra gand Me kharish Hota hy to tum Shalwar Utarta hy kya.

Yaad aaye to aankhen band na karna,

hum chale bhi jaaye to gum na karna.

Yeh zaruri nahi ki har rishte ka koi naam ho,

per dosti ka ehsaas kabhi dil se kam na karna.

Mere dil ki kitab ko padhna kabhi,

Sapno me aake mujh se milna kabhi

Maine duniya sazai hai tere liye,

Meri nazro ki ummed ban’na kabhi

Ye Jhoot hy k Mohbt Barbad karti hy Dost,

Log Khud hi Mohbt ki Gaand me Gussty hein Cho0t k Chakkar me….(^,^)

Nakaam si koshish kiya karte hain,

Hum hain ki unse pyar kiya karte hain,

Khuda ne takdir me ek tuta tara nahi likha,

Aur hum hain ki chaand ki aarzu kiya karte hain …

Mai DiL Se Baatain Karta Tha,

DiL Mujhse Baatain Karta Tha,

Mai Uski Sunta Rehta Tha,

Woh Meri Sunta Rehta Tha,

Hum Dono Apni Baatain Karte Thy,

Aur Ek DoOje Ki Baaton Par,

Hum Dheere se Hanste Rehte Thy,

Mai DiL Ka Dost Hi Acha Tha,

DiL Mera Dost Hi Acha Tha,

Woh Mere Dard Ko Sehta Tha,

Mai Usk Dard Ko Sehta Tha,

Phir DiL Ne ik ChaaL ChaLi

Woh Tumhari Raah Par ChaL NikLa!

Ab Mai bhi Tanha Rehta hun

0r Dil Bhi Tanha Rehta hy

Arz kia hy Kanch ki shishi pathar pe tor dun wah wah, kanch ki shishi pathar pe tor dun. Beth mere LUN pe tuje tere ghar tak chor dun.

Pathan apni girlfriend se:

dilbara hum tum ko gift me jeans ka pant dega

Girlfrnd

Khush hokr boli:

0h realy

Pathan: Haan

mgr uska zip piche hoga.

Bacha! Papa aaj se school may 1 period SEX EDUCATION ka be shuru ho gaya hai

Papa!Good, lakin tum apni LULLI Q hila rahay ho?

Bacha!Papa HOME WORK mila hai;-)

The difference between a successful person and others

is not a lack of strength,

not a lack of knowledge,

but rather in a lack of will.

Larka : Molvi sahab kya Girl friend k saath sona Haram hai? Molvi : Beta baat haram halal ki nahi hai Masla yeh hai k tum log sotay nhi ho naa;-).

TU MUJHE I QADAR MERE QAREEB LGTA HA

TUJH KO ALAG SOCHON TO AJEEB LGTA HA

MERE HATHON KI LAKERON ME ZARA GHOR SE DEKH

K TRE SATH MUJE APNA NASEEB LAGTA HA~

Wo kia hai?

Jis per Pyar se haath phero to Foran Khara ho jata hai?

.

.

.

Ans hai..

.

.

Betha

Hua

LORA… :

tu bakra samajh raha tha na shareef aadmi

‘I’ Pray For ‘You’
a life that ‘u’ truly deserve,

a life as good as ‘ur’ Heart
a life as bright as ‘YOUR’ smile,
&
a life as Wonderful as ‘YOU’:-). (‘_’ )!

5 laws of Girls

1)Love me but dont touch me

2)Touch me but don kiss me

3)Kiss me but don fuck me

4)Fuck me but don leave me

5)Leave me but’kisi nu dassi na’

If you cannot read this, please ask the flight attendant for assistance.

Dil To chata Hai k Har Bar Tujhe Anmol khazana Bhejon.

Aey Dost,

Lakin Meri Jholi k Neeche,

‘Loray’ K Siwa kuch Bhi Nahi.

ShaRma mat Chahiye tO bol?

Käise kåre ga tü meri chähät ka andàza

”””dost”””

Mèré pyär ka samündar teri soch se b gehra häi…

Najane kis Baat ki Mujhe tu saza Deta he

Mere khare Lund ko sula deta he

Muddat se teri Gaand nahi Dekhi GANDU

Kya is Tarah koi apne THOKU ko Bhula Deta hai?

Main 3 Tak Ginon Ga

Agr Tu Nai Bhaga To Gand Me Goli Maar Dunga

1

2

3

Nahi Bhaga Na

Pata Tha

Tjhe To Bs Gand Me Kch Na Kch Lene Ka Bahana Chahiye.

Din aate hai din jaate hai,

Kuch lamhe aapke bin guzar nahin paate hai,

inhi lamho ko samet kar dekhun toh aap bahut yaad aate hai

Najoomi: Lulli dikhaaoo

Larrka lulli dikhaata hay,

Najoomi: Iss saal pass ho jaaoo gay,

naukri lagay gi,

Or shadi b ho gi

Larrka: aap nay meri luli kyon dekhi?

Najoomi: Muth maar maar k tumharay haath ki sari lakeren lulli par aa gayi hain.~.

Ek ghr me 2 love birds the.

Ek ka naam tha ‘I Love you’

Or dusre ka

‘u Love Me’

‘U Love me’ ghr se bahar chala gaya to ghr me kon bacha?

No smile send me ans@

Beti:

Ammi aap kay zamanay main 10-10 bacchay kiyoun hotay thay?

Ammi:

Beti humaray time main lun moo main nahi puddhi main daalnay wala fashion tha. .*

Jism ka wo konsa hissa hai Jo

Garmi

or

Sardi

Dono me ‘GARAM’ rehta hai …?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

‘LUND’

Agar yaqin na Aay To Mera pakkar k Dhek Lo.

Oye Pagal insan

Sara din kam me laga rehta hai

Apni sehat ka b Khayal nahi karta

Le

Ganna choos,

Jaan bana

) ( (,,,):::::::::::::::o

|

Kisan Ne Nya Murgha Kharida.

Jaise Hi Ghar Aya Murga Pinjry Ki Taraf Bhaga Or 150 Murgion Ko Chod DIa

Kisan Boht Khush Hua Or Usy Pakar K Bahar Le Aya

Lunch K Bad Phir Murgay Ne 150 Murgion Ko Chod DIa

Ab Kisan Thora Parishan Hua,

Next Day

Kisan Ne Dekha Murga Khaiton ME Ducks Or Choozon Ko Chod Raha Tha,

KUCH DAIR BAAD.

.

Kisan Ne Dekha Murga Khait Ma Adh Mari Halat Ma Neim Behosh Para ha Or Us per Gidh Mandla Rahay hay

KISAN: Madar Chod Ye Sab Teri Harkaton Ka Natija Ha Ab Mar Bharway.

Murgay Ne 1 Aankh kholi Or BOLA GANDOO CHUP KAR IN KO NEECHE TO AA LENE DE…!

Girl:

Dekhain Aap ne meray Mummay Choos Choos ke kitney barey kr diye hain..

Boy:

Darling! Agr is tarha hota to aj mera LUN jazz ka tower hota!

Gajjar or bnd gobhi ki shadi hui. Subha uth kr dost ny pocha .suhag raat kaisi rhe. Gajjar ny kaha suhag raat kaisi yaar .sari raat kapry utarny mai guzar gai.

bhool jaon usay kaisi baat karty ho

MEEER

bkabhi din ne b aaghaz kiya hai sooraj k begair

Boss Ne Apni Seceratary Ko Bulaya Aur Bola

Boss: “Meri London Ki Ticket Book Kara Do, Aur Is Baar Mera Naam D.K. Bhos Likhwana, Bich Mein Dot Laga Dena.”

Seceratary Hairani Se: “Par Kyu Boss?”

Boss: “Kyunki London Wale Airpor Pe Mera Naam Mr. BhosDK Announs Karte Hai”

Note: Angrej Pehle Last Name And First Name Bolte Hai

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.

Khalis mohabbat mein itna inaam paya hai,

Maine apne har shair mein tera hi naam paya hai,

Barso baad tujhko phir yaad aaya hoon main,

Lagta hai phir koi kaam aaya hai.

It is ordinary to love the marvellous. But it is marvellous to love the ordinary. Bcoz everyone can love a rose but it takes great deal to love a leaf.@

Mirchain mou k elawa aur kahan LAGTI hain ?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Kheton mein Pagal,

Tujy bs apni Gand ki hi pari rehti hy.

Please Help Me..

Aaj Subah mere

Lund pe

Saap ne kaat liya..

Dr ne kha ki

Zehar Sirf Chusne se niklega

Muje bacha lo na janu.

Us Dil Se Piyaar Karo Jo Tumhe Dard De,,

Par Us Dil Ko Kabhi Dard Na Do Jo Tumhe Pyar Kare,,

Kyun Ke Tum Duiya Ke Liye Koi 1 Ho,,

Lekin Kisi 1 Ke Liye Tum Sari Duniya Ho,,

DON’T frown.You never know who is falling in love with your smile

Diffrent names of Penis:

* Kaali Ghaas Ka Daaku

* Chudakkar Ka Sikkandar

* Latakta Khanjar

* Aurat Ka Dushman

* Salwar Ki Talwar

* Sangam Ka Lingam

* Bister Ka Mister

* Raaton Ka Raja

Pass this to 10 Friends and your Penis will grow by 2 Inches…its true…plz. do not ignore else you loose your Lulli by 2 Inches.

* conditions apply (only for boys)

MOTHER: Beti Ab Tum 16 Saal Ki Ho Gai Ho

Waqt Aa Gaya Hay Sex K Barey Main Jan’ny Ka…

,

,

.

.

.

GIRL: Jee Ammi, Poochen Kia, Poochna Hai. 🙂

Pathan ko phansi ki saza dene se pehle Judge ne pocha: Tumhari koi akhri khuahish?

Pathan Ghussy Se Bola:

Haan!

Hum 1bar Apny Wakeel Ka Gand marna chahta hai

Ladki Ki Jeans Ki Pant Khulli Thhi Aur Usne Panty Nahi Pahan Rakhi Thhi

Pappu Dekh Ke Bola: “Aapke Lower Lips Dikh Rahe Hai”

Ladki: “Mujhe Pata Hai Beta, Ye To Ciggerate Peena Chahte Hai“

Bandar or Larkian same hoti hain Q k wo KELA psnd krti hain…..

.

.

Or Choohay or Larkay same hote hain saalay jb dekho Naye Suraakh k chkar mei hote hai..

Bachey Ki Sehat K Liye Zaruri Hai Bachey Ki

‘MAA KA DOODH’

0R

Bachey K Baap Ki Sehat K Liye Zaruri Hai Bachey Ki

‘MAA KI CHOOT’

Lafz

‘Gandu’

Gand se akhaz kia gaya hai.

Punjabi me gand ko ‘Bund’ kehte hain.

Gand insaani jism ka wo hissa hai jo

Lene,

Dene

or

Dikhane

k liye bhi istamal hota hai.

‘Gandu’ ka asal matlab hai

‘Gand dene wala’.

Is ka mafhoom hai k…

‘wo shakhs jo majbooran, shoqiya ya kisi ki zabardasti ki waja se apni gand de,

‘Gandu’ kehlata hai.

Ya

‘jo shakhs bilkul aakhiri waqt me apni auqat dikha de wo b,

‘Gandu’ he kehlata hai

‘Gandu’ log amooman hamare doston me bhi paaey jate hain

In ki Nishani ye b hi k jb tk aap msg na kren msg ni krtay

A GENERAL KNOWLEDGE Message by

‘MINISTRY OF GANDIOLOGY.

‘Shajar hota t0 Patoon py likh likh k naam tera,

‘Tere sheher ki janib hawaoon mein oraa deta.@

Apne Haseen Chootron

,,,

(.’ )

,_/ //

) )

_ , ko kisi Cheez Se Chupa

Liya Karo,

Hum GUSTAAKH Log Hain Nazro Se CHOD dia karte hai..,,