Category: Sexy SMS

Kisan Ne Nya Murgha Kharida.

Jaise Hi Ghar Aya Murga Pinjry Ki Taraf Bhaga Or 150 Murgion Ko Chod DIa

Kisan Boht Khush Hua Or Usy Pakar K Bahar Le Aya

Lunch K Bad Phir Murgay Ne 150 Murgion Ko Chod DIa

Ab Kisan Thora Parishan Hua,

Next Day

Kisan Ne Dekha Murga Khaiton ME Ducks Or Choozon Ko Chod Raha Tha,

KUCH DAIR BAAD.

.

Kisan Ne Dekha Murga Khait Ma Adh Mari Halat Ma Neim Behosh Para ha Or Us per Gidh Mandla Rahay hay

KISAN: Madar Chod Ye Sab Teri Harkaton Ka Natija Ha Ab Mar Bharway.

Murgay Ne 1 Aankh kholi Or BOLA GANDOO CHUP KAR IN KO NEECHE TO AA LENE DE…!

Girl:

Dekhain Aap ne meray Mummay Choos Choos ke kitney barey kr diye hain..

Boy:

Darling! Agr is tarha hota to aj mera LUN jazz ka tower hota!

Gajjar or bnd gobhi ki shadi hui. Subha uth kr dost ny pocha .suhag raat kaisi rhe. Gajjar ny kaha suhag raat kaisi yaar .sari raat kapry utarny mai guzar gai.

bhool jaon usay kaisi baat karty ho

MEEER

bkabhi din ne b aaghaz kiya hai sooraj k begair

Boss Ne Apni Seceratary Ko Bulaya Aur Bola

Boss: “Meri London Ki Ticket Book Kara Do, Aur Is Baar Mera Naam D.K. Bhos Likhwana, Bich Mein Dot Laga Dena.”

Seceratary Hairani Se: “Par Kyu Boss?”

Boss: “Kyunki London Wale Airpor Pe Mera Naam Mr. BhosDK Announs Karte Hai”

Note: Angrej Pehle Last Name And First Name Bolte Hai

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.

Khalis mohabbat mein itna inaam paya hai,

Maine apne har shair mein tera hi naam paya hai,

Barso baad tujhko phir yaad aaya hoon main,

Lagta hai phir koi kaam aaya hai.

Bdmash Ek Lrki ko utha kr le gaia’

or

us ka rape krna shoro kr dia’

Rape krty huwe us ne Lrki se kaha:

Kahan hai tumara Aashiq agr us main himmat hai to samny Aaye?

Lrki ko maza Aa rha tha’ Kehne lgi:

Aah!

us namard ka naam mt lo’

Aah!

Tum apna kaam kro or us khusry ko sms prhne do’!’

It is ordinary to love the marvellous. But it is marvellous to love the ordinary. Bcoz everyone can love a rose but it takes great deal to love a leaf.@

Mirchain mou k elawa aur kahan LAGTI hain ?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Kheton mein Pagal,

Tujy bs apni Gand ki hi pari rehti hy.

Please Help Me..

Aaj Subah mere

Lund pe

Saap ne kaat liya..

Dr ne kha ki

Zehar Sirf Chusne se niklega

Muje bacha lo na janu.

Us Dil Se Piyaar Karo Jo Tumhe Dard De,,

Par Us Dil Ko Kabhi Dard Na Do Jo Tumhe Pyar Kare,,

Kyun Ke Tum Duiya Ke Liye Koi 1 Ho,,

Lekin Kisi 1 Ke Liye Tum Sari Duniya Ho,,

DON’T frown.You never know who is falling in love with your smile

Diffrent names of Penis:

* Kaali Ghaas Ka Daaku

* Chudakkar Ka Sikkandar

* Latakta Khanjar

* Aurat Ka Dushman

* Salwar Ki Talwar

* Sangam Ka Lingam

* Bister Ka Mister

* Raaton Ka Raja

Pass this to 10 Friends and your Penis will grow by 2 Inches…its true…plz. do not ignore else you loose your Lulli by 2 Inches.

* conditions apply (only for boys)

MOTHER: Beti Ab Tum 16 Saal Ki Ho Gai Ho

Waqt Aa Gaya Hay Sex K Barey Main Jan’ny Ka…

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GIRL: Jee Ammi, Poochen Kia, Poochna Hai. 🙂

Pathan ko phansi ki saza dene se pehle Judge ne pocha: Tumhari koi akhri khuahish?

Pathan Ghussy Se Bola:

Haan!

Hum 1bar Apny Wakeel Ka Gand marna chahta hai

Ladki Ki Jeans Ki Pant Khulli Thhi Aur Usne Panty Nahi Pahan Rakhi Thhi

Pappu Dekh Ke Bola: “Aapke Lower Lips Dikh Rahe Hai”

Ladki: “Mujhe Pata Hai Beta, Ye To Ciggerate Peena Chahte Hai“

Bandar or Larkian same hoti hain Q k wo KELA psnd krti hain…..

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Or Choohay or Larkay same hote hain saalay jb dekho Naye Suraakh k chkar mei hote hai..

Bachey Ki Sehat K Liye Zaruri Hai Bachey Ki

‘MAA KA DOODH’

0R

Bachey K Baap Ki Sehat K Liye Zaruri Hai Bachey Ki

‘MAA KI CHOOT’

Lafz

‘Gandu’

Gand se akhaz kia gaya hai.

Punjabi me gand ko ‘Bund’ kehte hain.

Gand insaani jism ka wo hissa hai jo

Lene,

Dene

or

Dikhane

k liye bhi istamal hota hai.

‘Gandu’ ka asal matlab hai

‘Gand dene wala’.

Is ka mafhoom hai k…

‘wo shakhs jo majbooran, shoqiya ya kisi ki zabardasti ki waja se apni gand de,

‘Gandu’ kehlata hai.

Ya

‘jo shakhs bilkul aakhiri waqt me apni auqat dikha de wo b,

‘Gandu’ he kehlata hai

‘Gandu’ log amooman hamare doston me bhi paaey jate hain

In ki Nishani ye b hi k jb tk aap msg na kren msg ni krtay

A GENERAL KNOWLEDGE Message by

‘MINISTRY OF GANDIOLOGY.

Pathan apni girlfriend se:

dilbara hum tum ko gift me jeans ka pant dega

Girlfrnd

Khush hokr boli:

0h realy

Pathan: Haan

mgr uska zip piche hoga.

‘Shajar hota t0 Patoon py likh likh k naam tera,

‘Tere sheher ki janib hawaoon mein oraa deta.@

Apne Haseen Chootron

,,,

(.’ )

,_/ //

) )

_ , ko kisi Cheez Se Chupa

Liya Karo,

Hum GUSTAAKH Log Hain Nazro Se CHOD dia karte hai..,,

Boy to Shopkeeper:

Ek Black Color ka Condom dena..

Shopkeeper: Black hi Kyun?

Boy: Wo girl friend ka husband mar gaya hai,

Afsos karnay jana hai.

Expect the people you love to be better. It helps them to become better. But don’t get upset when they fail. It helps them keep trying

*. .Child: Papa Heart ki kitni tangien hoti hen…?

PAPA: Ek bhi nai Beta,

Child: Phir ap Raat ko kyu keh rahe they

Sweet Heart tangien uper uthao. . .*

Train main wife Husband se boli :

‘aaj saturday nite hai kuch karo na…..’

Husband bola :

Dekha nahi samne kia likha hai

‘Chalti Train me upar charna mana hai’

MERE DIL SE KABHI NAHI JAO GI,

JAAN JAEGI MERE MAGER TUM NAHI JAO GI,

HER GHADI HER RAHA MAIN MILEGA BOHAT PYAR TUMHE,

MERE JASE PYAR KO KABHI NAHI PAOGI,

Meri tum Se Guzarish Ha

Wafaon ka Bharm Rakna,

Chlay Ana Meri Khatir

Sadaon ka Bharm Rkhna,

Charagh-E-Jaan Nahi Bujhta

Hawa Mayous Hoti Ha,

Usy Ata Nhi Shayad

Hawaon ka Bharam Rakhna,

Mujhay Logon Ne Mehfil Main

Hmaisha Hanste Daikha Hy,

Meri Fitrat Me Shamil Ha

Anaon ka Bharam Rkhna.

@ ßaat sun jigar, . . . Koi naya SmS aaya hai tere paas? . . . Agar hai to . . . . . Kaghaz pe likh k, . . . “GAND ME LE LE. . SEND TO TERE SE HOGA NAHI.

Sardar apne boss ko phone kr k bola:

Aj mera mood acha nhi

Me office nhi asakta

Boss:Jab mera mood off hota hai to me apni biwi ko khoob kiss krta hun

Jis se mera mood theek hojata hai

Tm bhi aisa hi karo

2 hours k baad sardar ne boss ko phone kiya:

Mera mood ab acha ha

Apki biwi waqayi kamal ki hai:-

12 sal ka Bacha RAPE case me Pkra Gya

LADY wkeel nay Adalat mai Uski Lulli Pkri or Boli:

Jaj sb Kia ye RAPE Kar Skta ha?

BACHA Bola:Hila mat case Haar jayengi.^^^

kis ne kaha tuje ke

anjan ban ke aya ker

mere dil ke aaine mein

mehman ban ke aya ker

pagal ek tujhe he to

bakhshi hai dil ki hakumat

yeh teri saltanat hai

sultan ban ke aya kar.

1 larki ka mangatar mar gya wo rote hue boli:

Haye…

abi to kuch dekha b nai tha…!!

kareb khara hua pathan bola:

Abhi nehlaynge dekh LENA BAJI

Love is for Life,

Life isn’t for Love.

Love may fail in Life,

Life should never fail in Love.

So don’t spoil Life in Love,

but don’t forget to Love in Life.

Phool sa kuch kalaam or sahi.

Ik ghazal us k naam or sahi.

Is ki zulfen boht ghaneeri hain.

1 shab ka qayaam or sahi.

Zindagi k udaas qessey hain.

1 larki ka naam or sahi.

Haseeno ko sunaeay ghazlen.

Qatal ki 1 shaam or sahi.

Kapkapati ha raat seeny main.

Zehar ka 1 jaam oR sahi…!

Rishta hamara is jahan main sabse pyara ho,

Jaise zindagi ko sanso ka sahara ho,

Yaad rakhna,

Humey us pal me bhi tum,

Jub tum akele ho aur koi na tumhra ho.

WIFE Subha Naha Kar Apni Shalwar K Andar Agrbati Ghuma Rahi Thi

HUSBAND:

Ye Kya Kar Rahi Ho?

WIFE:

Tum Jao Office.

Mera b Dukaan Kholne Ka time Hogia he 🙂

“If You Have To Think About

Whether You Love Someone

Or Not Then The Answer Is No.

When You Love

Someone You Just Know.”

I Chose To Love You

In Silence

For In Silence I Find

No Rejection

I Chose To Love You

In Our Loneliness

For In Your Loneliness

No One Owns You , But Me

Pathan: Hont choomne do.

Larki: Nahin lipstick uter jayegi.

Pathan: To phir Breast dabane do.

Larki: Doodh nikel jayega.

Pathan: Acha to phirwo karny do

larki: mensis mein hoon

pathan: ab ye na kehna k mujhe dast bhi hain.

Utha do un behen k loron ko jo so rahe hain gulami ki neend may

Maa ki quss… khuwab sirf chudaai k hi dekh rahay hongay.

GooD MorninG:-)

Larkia Aquarium Ko Dekh K Boli-

‘Machaliya Itni Sundar Q Hoti Hain’?

.

Larka (SPRITE PITE HUE)

.

Q K Wo KAPRE Nahi Pehenti’

.

SIDHI BAAT

N0 BAKWAS 😉

Wo kia hai?

Jis per Pyar se haath phero to Foran Khara ho jata hai?

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Ans hai..

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Betha

Hua

LORA… :

tu bakra samajh raha tha na shareef aadmi

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

~ Mignon McLaughlin

Unka waada hai ki vo laut ayenge,

issi umeed par hum jiye jayenge,

yeh intezaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyaara hai,

kar rahe the, kar rahe hai or kiye jayenge.

Boy and Girl sex kar rahay thay.1 babay ne unhen pakar liya.

Baba- Tohadi shakait laggay gi.

Girl:baba g ,aap bhi kar lain magar shikayat na lagain.

Baba Dhoti khol k kafi dair tak khara karny ki koshish krta raha. Lekin khara na hua.

baba utha or bola:

NA G NA, SHAKAIT E LAGY Gi..:-)

Ek larki ka rape ho gya…

Uski maa us se boli:

Beti ab tera kya hoga?

Haramzado ne teri Izzat loot li..

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Larki:

Maa tu preshan na ho…

wo sb pathan thay…

Izzat bhi bach gae or QABZ bhi toot gya…

Sardar k 8 bachon mein 1 alag hi lagta tha.

Sardar mernay lga to bivi sy bola.

‘Hun ty das de,

O kida a?’

Sardarni:

‘Sirf ohi tuhada a.

SUNI EK KAM KRNA

CHAND SE KUCH MATTI LANA

ISS SE 2 BOUT BANANA.

EK TERY JESA EK MERY JESA

IN BOUTOON KO TORNA PHR IN SE 2 BOUT BANAN.

EK TERY JESA EK MERY JESA

TA KEH TUM MAIN KUCH MUCH MIN AND MUJH MAIN KUCH KUCH TUM REH JAOO

Larki Ney Chiragh Ragrra to Us Mein Sey Jin Nikla.

Jin: Kya Hukum Hey Meri Aaqa??

Girl: Meri Pyas Bujha Do.

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Jin:

Seven up wali ya

Seven Inch wali?

‘jab”ISHQ”main arman jal ajate hain,,,,,

najany ku log badal jate hain,,,,

kerna humse MUHABBATzara soch samaj kr,,,

hum wafaon main had say guzar jate hain.’

Ek Larki Doosri Se:

Yar Shuru Shuru main To Bara Maza Aa Raha Tha lekin?

Doosri: Lekin Kya?

Batao na

1st: Lekin Jab Baad Mein Zor Zor Se Jhatkey Lagney Lagey,

Meri To Kamar Hi Toot Gai,

Me tou Qasam Khati Hun

Aainda RIKSHAY

Mein Kabhi Safar Nahi Karun gi. 🙂

Kharab Soch Wale…

¤Bacha maa se:

Mom yeh pregnant kia hota hai?

Mom ne ghuse se dikha to woh samjha ghuse ko pregnant kehte hein

2nd day beta school sey wapis atay huay 1 larki k uper gir gaya

Larki ki maa chilla kar boli: yeh kia badtamizi hai?

Bacha bola: gira teri beti k upar hon aur pregnant tu ho rahi hai.

Käise kåre ga tü meri chähät ka andàza

”””dost”””

Mèré pyär ka samündar teri soch se b gehra häi…

AajTak jo Hum Tumse keh na sake,,

Aj wazahat se Iqraar Karte hen,,
Jise Tm roz dekhte ho aainey Mein,,,

Us se HUM Bepanah Piyaar karte hen,,,

1 punjabi masjid me elaan krne gya to usy bari maar pari

Q k

wahan mike me current tha

Punjabi mike ko Hath

lgaty he bola

Hazraaat

O tohadi pehn nu yawan.

Jinki talash me kadam khud nikal gaye,

Jinki yado me ye arman pighal gaye,

khoza tha jinko sare jahan me,

palke band ki to wo Dil me hi mil gaye

Love is the weapon with which one can conquer the world but the weapon must be a genuine one.

Youn mat kheench mujhay apni taraf SAGAR…,,,

.

.

,,nawey soot di paen nu Lun dena e…??!!!

(‘,’)/

/( )

_/ _ japhi door ho k pa.

Aik PATHAN 40 Din Ka Chilla Kaat Raha Tha,

39 Ven Raat Shaitan Aa kar Us kay Samney Nanga So Gaya,

PATHAN Jaldi Sey Utha Aur Uski

Gand Maar Di.

SHAITAN: Dekha Kaisey Tera Chilla Tora?

PATHAN: Abey Teri Gaand Marney Kay Liye Hi To Mein Chilla Kaat Raha Tha!

Us ne kaha tmhain mjhse ktna pyar hy

Maine kaha sitaro ka koi shumar hy

Usne kaha kon tmhe subse ziada azeez hy

Maine kaha dil per jis ka ikhtiyar hy

Usne kaha konsa tohfa hy tmhe pasnd

Maine kaha woHI JO TM per udhar hy

Zindgi Is Tarah Basar Hoti,

Har Khushi Meri Humsafar Hoti !

Tum Meri Safar Ki Manzil Ho,

Kash Tumko Bhi Ye Khabar Hoti

Is Msg Ko 12 din Tak Na Kholiye ga,

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) )

( |::::::::::::::o

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Lun Vekh Lo Sabar Te Hy e Nai Na….!!

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Tarasti nazron ne her pal tera sath manga

jaisa asman ne her raat chand manga

khud bhi roth geya woh hum se

jab her dua main hum ne un ka sath manga

*. . .Lipton pesh karta hy

Raat Ki Gehrai Mein

Thandi Garam Razai Mein

Na Koi BOY Na Koi GIRL

Apni Muthi

Apna Lun

Yahi To Hai Woh Apna Pan. . .*

rocKING,,

Sunsan rasto mai hum chal diye,

Yado ka saman liye hum chal diye,

Dil mai chupaye ishq liye hum chal diye,

Ankho mai sisakti yado ke gum dabaye hum chal diye,

In tapakte ashko se apne dil ki pyas bhujaye hum chal diye,

Ghabraye hum, akele hue hum, apne nishano ko mita kar hum chal diye,

Chal diye hum apni jindagi ko chod maut ko gale lagane hum chal diye….

Boy: I like the soft thing behind your braiz.

Girl: what?

Boy: your heart.

Girl: I love the big thing between your two legs.

Boy: what?

Girl: your bike..;-)

yeh na thi humari kismat k wisaal-e-yaar hota …

ager or jeete rehte tu yehi intazar hota

kahoon kiss se main k kia hai …

shab-e-ghum bori bala hai

mujhe kia bora tha marna ..

ager aek baar hota

yeh na thi humari kismat k wisaal-e-yaa hota ..

koei mere dil se poche

tere teer neem kash ko

yeh khalish kahan se hoti ..

ju jiger k paar hota

tere wade per jiye hum..

tu yeh jaan jhot jana ..

k khoshi se mar na jate ager etbaar hota ..

yeh na thi humri kissmat k wisaal-e- yaar hota

yeh kahan ki dosti hai ..

k bane hain dost saqi ..

koi chehra saaz hota ..

tu yeh na ghumm saath hota….

R.F

Doctor to Veena:

Aap mein tau khoon ki bohat kami hai.

Periods kay doran kitna loss ho jata haiy?

Veena (sharmatay hoay)

Taqriban 5 lakh tak..:(

Tum nahi aaye lekin,

Tumhari yaad chali aai hai.

Kal tum hamare saath the,

Aaj bas hum aur yeh tanhai hai.

A wise physician said to me,

“i have been practising medicine for 30years

and

i ve prescribed many things.

But in the long run,

i ve learnd that for most of what ails the human creature,

the best medicine is LOVE.”

“What if it doesnt work?” I asked.

“Double the dose”. He replied.

Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.

Luv Is Beautiful Bcoz

It’s A Feeling Controlled By Heart,

Bt FRNDSHIP Is Much Beautiful

Bcoz It’s A Feeling Dat Controls D HEART

Girl:

Kal Sapne Me Mujhe Koi qatal kar Raha Tha, ab kya hoga?

2nd Girl:

Tu Dar Mat,

Agar Sapny Such Hoty To Main Rozana Pregnant Hoti…’ 😉

Teacher: Larkian kiya pehn sakti hain…?

Student: SaaRRi.

Teacher:

Larkiyan kia nhi pahen sakti…?

Student ne bohat socha or kaha:

SATHi

Jb Wife Pregnant ho to us ki sari Sahailiyan us k pait pe hath pher k kehti hein

Congratulations

Lekin

koi B husband ka

Lun pakr kr nhi kehti

‘Well done ‘ ‘

Sardar: Kal pehli wari main teri Bhabi di yaad bhulan wasty sharab di botal da sahara lita.

Dost: Fair ki hoya.

Sardar: Hona ki si Lulli phas gayi botal wich..

Tears R Better Than Smile Because,

.

U Can Smile At Everyone,

.

But

.

U’ll Cry For Only One,

.

Who Is Special To Ur Heart..

hasband shocked at first night of his wedding, after seeing his misses vigina, and asked :

tumhari phudee itni khulii hui kiu haye.

wife replied while shying :

wo actually me aik baar galty se kaeelaye ki bajaye tarbooz pe baith gai thee

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined… to strengthen each other… to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.

~ George Eliot

Love is like the measles,

All the worse when it comes late in life

Mansoba bandi pe lady worker lecture de rahi thi keh aasan tariqa tu yeh hay keh jab tumhara khawand farigh hony lagy tu neechy se hill jaya karo.

Ek aurat!Main apny ghar waly ko laati hun, tum hill k dikhana.

Har bichra howa paunchi isi umeed py aagaz-e-subah karta hy

Dost

k qismat mila dy gi ham-nasheen sy mujko groob-e-Aftab sy pehly…

Yaad aaye to aankhen band na karna,

hum chale bhi jaaye to gum na karna.

Yeh zaruri nahi ki har rishte ka koi naam ho,

per dosti ka ehsaas kabhi dil se kam na karna.

Apni girl Friend wapis lo or mere pese wapis kro aaj k baad aisa mal kabi na bhejna (-_-) / / (. (. /\ ) . ( // / v )(expired)

/ / /

SHEHZADA SALEEM : ‘Hamari ammi or abaa huzoor hum se itni muhabat karte thy

K saari sari raat woh 2onon hamein sulane K liye jagte rehte,

Mgr hum phir bhi nahin sote thy,

WAZEER :

‘Shehzada hazoor!

apki isi

harkat

ki waja se aap ‘IKLOTEY’ reh gye!!!

Sweet is your ‘Nature’

Dear is your ‘Name’

As Earth wants Water, flower wants Dew.

I want nothing…

But Happiness for You.

Sardar Apni Wife Se Sex krte Hue Usky Boobs Choos Rha Tha

achanak ch0ta beta uth gaya 0r b0la

Papa Sharm Nhi ati,

Apni Hi Aulad k Rizq Pe Mo0 Marte Ho

Bohat logone humay Bataya Magar hum Gafil neklay,,

Jenhe pelaya khoon Jigar ka whe humara Qateel neklay…..

~R.F~

Koi Suraj Jagy Meri Dherti Py

Kuch Aisa Ho Ye Rat Dhaly

Koi Hath Main Thamy Hath Mera

Koi Le Ker Mujh Ko Sath Chaly

Koi Bethy Mery Pahluu Main

Mery Shhany Per Hath Dharry

Aansu Poonch Ker Ankhon Se,

Ruky Ruky Lehjey Main Kahy

Youn Tanha SAFR Kabi Kat’ta Nahi

Chalo hum tumhary Sath Chalain..

It’s the thing that satisfies

ur mind, body & soul!

Do it on bed, on a sofa,

in the car or anywhere!

It’s called Prayer!

God bless ur naughty mind.

How did an intelligent boy propose to girl?

He took the girl

along wid him on a boat

and at the middle of river

said ‘luv me or leave the boat’

The comic is the perception of the opposite; humor is the feeling of it.

Larki injecton Lagwaty huy:

zara ahista lagao

dard ho rha hy

DISPENCER:

jab chudwati ho to dard nai hota

Larki:

bhosri k

us time

hosh me nhi JOSH m hoti hon.

Mai Karta Raha Tujh Se Payar Ka Izhar

Tu Todti Rahi Mera Dil Bar Bar

Tadapta Raha Mai Teri Ek Haan K Liye

Aur Ye Zamana Husta Raha Mujh P Hur Baar

Hato Ki Lakiro Ko Bhi Na Tha Gawara

Meri Kismat Me Kahan Thi Teri Mohabbat

Mere Mukaddar Me Kahan Tha Tera Pyar

Phool Shaakh se Bichhray to kahin ka nahi rehta,

Tum khud ko juda Meri zaat se kuch soch k karna..!!

Girl:Mom samne wala larka mujhe dekta hai to meri Brizer tight ho jati hai

MOM:dont wory ab ki bar Brizer neche kr dena SALAY ka undrwear tight ho jayega. .*