Sardar was riding on a horse.

He breaks the red signal & a cop whistles.

Sardar lifts the tail of the horse & says: ‘Le Kar le Number Note’

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, ‘Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?’

‘Haa’ replies shop owner.

Santa Singh says, ‘Ek hara vala dena!’

Sardar: Prito ‘Ek wari I LOVE YOU keh day’

Prito: ‘Nahi Sharam Andi Ey’

Sardar: ‘Keh Day NA’

Prito: ‘Nahi Na’

Sardar: ‘Dhake To Fir Meri Bahen Nahi’

Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha

Wife: y r u standing here?

Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon

Wife: To jao na..!

Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

Ek Sardar tha..

Uske paas ek Kawva(Crow) tha..

Wo bauhot Mulayam (soft) tha..

To usne apne kawve ka naam kya rakha hoga?

?

?

?

Microsoft

Mi-Crow-soft

…

Sardar1: Yaar jaldi pee warna coffee thandi hojaye gi
Sardar2: To kya hua
Sardar1: Bewkuf menu nahi padha
Hot coffee 20/- rs. Cold coffee 40/- rs.

1 sardar ko uska Susar jotay mar raha tha

Reason?

Susar:eedi biwi ne hassptalon sms kita’Tusi pyo ban gaye o!’es hrami ne apne sare yaran nu forward kar dita!

Sardar ka beta 5 subjects mn fail ho gya.

Sardar:

Hun minu Abba na boleen!

Beta:

Abba Awain chawla na mar

Ay school da test c, koi DNA test nai c.

Sardar attended bio practical exam

Examiner: Tell the bird name by seeing leg

Sardar: I dont know..

Examiner: u fail.

Whats ur name?

Sardar:See My Leg & tell…

Khirki khulli zulfain bikhrien

Dil nay kaha dildar nikla

Par hai ray meri phooti kismat

Nahaya hoa sardar nikla….

ek sardar ne Ek Cow ke kiss kar le.

oor sath main he Toooba karny lagy k

Guru nanak g Mujy maaf kar dain mairy zehan main shaitan(devil) aa giya tha,

Ussy waqt Shaitan Hazir ho giya oor Sardar se kehny laga,

Oyee Ullu K Pathy yeh jo harkat tum ne ke yeh yeh harkat to mairy zehan main b nahe the

SARDAR gose to the library and asks for a book ‘Psycho the rapist’

LIBRARIAN: Searches for a while and comes bak and slaps him and says:

‘PSHCHOTHERAPIST’ HAI SALAY

Sardar apni shadi pe udaas tha kisi ne pocha kia bat hai?

Sardar: mere susral ne Barat pe thoray logon ka kaha hai.

Pata nai abba mujhe le jata hay ya nahi.:-)

Teacher: Oxygen is must for Breathing. It was discovered in 1773.

Sardar: "Thank God, I was born after that…. Pehle paida hota to marr he jata" ;->…

Sardar roti ka 1 tukra khud or 1 murghi ko khila rha tha.

Dost: ye kya kr rhe ho?

Sardar: hm khandani log hain.

Roz roti chicken k sath khatay hain…!

Sardar:
Why are all these people running?

Man:
This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Sardar:
If only the winner will get the cup,

Why others running?@

Interviewer: where r u born Sardarji: punjab Interviewer : which part? Sardarji : kya which part whole body was born in punjab

Fadi

0345 5888477

051 7152555…

Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?

Biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Sardar’s Intrview 4 New Job

Interviewer: Wht Did U Do B4 ?

Sardar: I Was In Army

Intrviewer: How Long Were U In Army?

Sardar: Five Foot Eleven Inch ……

Sardar was touching a lady in a crowded bus.

Lady: Excuse me aap acha nahi kar rahe.

Sardar: itni bheed mein iss se acha nahi ho sakta..

Sardar k Ghar Chori ho Gai Chor Uski B.V ka Zaivar Le Gaye:

Logon ny kaha:

Chalo Sardarji Izzat to Bach Gai Bhabi Ki.

Sardarji:

O Wech Wech K Tay Zaivar Liya C.

Sarther: Beta to bistar kyn lagay?

Son: Ghr py to guest ane hn.

Sarther: Kon?

Son: Ami ka bhai or mera Mamo

Sarther: Phr 1 or lga , mera sala bi a rha hai.

Sardar ki behan bhag gaye,

3 din baad wapas i…

Sardar(Dukh aur ghusse se) bola: ‘Hun Ki Lain I En?’

Behan: ‘NOKIA da moti lupi ala charger’.

Pathan: Batao Aisa kia karein k Saanp B Marr Jaye or Laathi B Na Totay?

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Sardar: Watty Maaro Watty…

1 sardar ko girlfriend ne khane pe bulaya.

Jb wo gya to gate py tala tha or lkha tha.

‘Mai ne to mazaq kia tha’

Sardar ny b nechy likh dia.

‘Mai kera aya c.

All Scientists Fail to Answer this

But Sardar GRocks…,

Q:Which Liquid Thing Turns Solid on heating?

Sardar:’Besan K pakoray’:D

Sardar to girlfriend : Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana kar rahe hai.

Girlfriend : Tumhare ghar mein kaun kaun hai?

Sardar : 1 biwi aur 3 bacche…

Sardar Manmohan Singh’s

Next Election Agenda:

1)Ban On Sardar Jokes.

2)Bolo Tara Rara Will Be D National Song.

3)11 Ke Baad Seedha 1 Bajega

Boss-Ek Accha Mirror Leke Avao Jisme

Muje Mera Chehra Dikaye De

Sardar-Boss Mai Sab Dukan Gaya Per Sabme

Mere Hi Chehra Dikha

Apka Chehra Diknewala Nhi Mila

After An Accident, Driver Angrily shouted:

I Showed You The Headlights & Told You To Let Me Go 1st.

Sardar: I Also Started The Wipers & Said No, No, No.. :p

America se aik sardar ne apni maan ki dead body India bheji, jis ke sath aik letter tha k amma ki dead body ap ko mil gai hogi. Amma ne kapron k neeche jo shirts pehn rkhi hein wo bhaiyon k liy, jo 5 socks k jode pehn rkhe hein wo sab k liy, amma k sarhane k neeche chocolates chote k liy, amma k balon mein poniyan chotii k liy, … aur agar kisi aur cheez ki zarurt ho to jaldi bata dena kion ke abba ki bhi halat khrab hai.

Sardarni write:

massege 2 sardar

?ghar kab aa rahe ho?

Massege karke batao?

Sardar write 2 her:

?Nahi bata sakta,

Balance kam hai??;-)

…

A lady was kissing a lion inside a cage in circus.

Ring master asked can anyone do it?

Sardar G main aana haan par pehle sher nu hatao..

1 plane ka engine khrab hogia.sub ne parachute le kr jump laga dia

Akhir me 1 Hindu rh gia us k liye parachute nhi bacha.Mjborun use aise hi jump lagana parha

Grte howe wo 1 srdar g k pas se gzra.Srdar ne hindu ko itni speed me jate dekh kr apna

Parachute chor

dia or bola

”Sady Nal race’aan!!!”…

Ek sardar ko poori raat Macharo ne bohat pareshan kia.

Uska dimag ghoom gaya

.

.

Sardar ne zehar pee lia aur bola ab kato saalo sab ke sab maroge’

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked :

How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied :

Ok! We will apply next year.

Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.

“You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” complained the pub-owner.

So the two Sardars exchanged their sandwiches.

Ek Sardar doosre sardar se: Yaar bata motorcycle ke kitne tyre hote hai?

2nd sardar: 2 hote hai.

1st sardar: Nahi do nahi 6 hote hai

2nd sardar: Woh kaise?

1st sardar: Iss tarah 4 Motor ke aur 2 cycle ke

Santa’s Qoute

“I have often wanted to drown my troubles… but I have not been able to convince my wife to go for a swim!

“…

Sardar:

What Is The Cost Of Hair Cut?

Barber:

Rs 20

Sardar:

Then What Is The Cost Of Shaving?

Barber:

Rs 10

Sardar:

Oh! Ok Plz Shave My Head!!!

(¯`v´¯)

`*.¸.*´ Lover

¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)

(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•

Prince”

It was Santa’s wedding anniversary.

Preeto : Shall we have butter chicken to celebrate?
Santa : Why to punish the poor chicken for the mistake we have made.

do sardar ek sath ja rahe the k samne se us ki biwi aur girl friend a rahe thi ek sardar bola yar mere biwi mere girl friend ke sath kya kar rahe hai dosra sardar bola yar mein bhi yehi bolne wala tha

Q:Why is a Sardarji standing below

a tube light with a open mouth?

A:Because his doctor advised him

“Today’s dinner should be light”

Sardar Was Sleeping In His Bed Room With His Wife

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Why Are You Scrolling Down So Fast.

Let Him Sleep With His Wife.

…

Teacher TAJ MAHAL Kisne Banaya Tha?

Sardar:- Ji, KARIGAR Ne.

Teacher:- Mera Matlab Hai Banvaya Kisne Tha.

Sardar:- Ji, THEKEDAAR Ne

Sardar1: Laughing behind sardar2 at ATM. Ha ha ha. I have seen your password.

Sardar2: what is it?

Sardar1: its 4 star (****).

Sardar2: you are wrong, its 1234

1 sardar aur 1 punjabi ka interview tha..

punjabi se:

Q: taleem?

Ans: B.A

Q:Pakistan kab bana?

Ans: Koshish pehle se chal rahi thi par 1947

Q:Pakistan ka pm kon hai?

Ans: Bohat ae gae lekin ab Geelani sahab hai.

Sardar ye sub sun raha tha usne teeno answer yaad ker liye

1-B.A

2-1947

3-Geelani

ab sardar se:

Q:naam?

ans: B.A

Q:kab peda hue?

Ans: koshish pehlay sy chal rahi thi per 1947 me

Q: Baap ka naam?

Ans:wese to kitne aye ge lekin ab GEELANI sahab hai

Mr.Inside went outside to see Mr.Outside. Inside standing outside called outside outside, but outside sitting inside called inside inside. When inside came inside outside went outside 2 see inside then outside called inside outside but inside from inside called outside. Now where is ur brain? Inside OR Outside?

‘Judge : Tum 3rd tym adalat ma aa rhey ho,tumhe shram nhi ati?

Sardar : Oh janab Tusi roz aanday O,Tuwano nai aandi :-‘

Sardar joined new job. 1St day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so i made it alright

Hindi teacher asks : Kaal Kitne parkar ke hote hain?

Sardar answer: Local Kaal, STD Kaal, Trunk Kaal, ISD Kaal

&

sasria_kaal…

Sardar ki Magni hue usko pata chala k uski mangetar ka kise se koi affair nhe tha. Sardar Ne Ye keh ker mahni tor de jab ye kise ki na hoskti to meri kya hoge….

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.

Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like

"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

…

A Sardar & A Wife Were Walking Outside

When The Wife Said,

“Oh Look At The Dead Bird!!!”

The Sardar Looked

At Sky & Said,

“Where, Where”???…

Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.

A drunk SARDAR fall from 3rd floor,
People gathered and asked, kya hua ?
He replied, Pata nahi me bhi abhi niche aaya hun

1 pathan ne 1 sardar ko juta mara,

sardar:tum ne ye juta ghusay se mara ya mazaq se?

pathan: Gushy se.

Sardar:Acha hai warna me aisa mazaq bardasht nai karta,,.

On airport 3 men were wating 4 their sons

Hindu:

Hamare amirzade ne ana hai

Muslim:

Hamare navabzade ne ana hai

Sardar:

saaday haramzade ne v ana hai

…

1 sardar bus main betha

us k samnay 1 molvi beth gia

sardar dar gia or bola ‘molana saab tusi dum darood walay oo yha bumb barood walay?’

A Sardar was playing chess with his donkey:

Friend: Aray Waah! Tera Gadha to bohat Intelligent hai.

Sardar: Khaak intelligent hai.

4 Main se 2 to Main Jeeta hon

Srdar in a Cofee House wid wife
Srdar:Jaldi Pi, Cofee thandi ho Jaegi
wife: fer ki hoga?
Srdar: Bewakoof ‘Menu card’ dekh,
Hot coffee Rs.15
Cold coffee Rs.45.

PAIK SARDAR NAY KHARBOZAY LGA LIYE.

KISI NAY POCHA SARDAR JI MEETHAY J?

SARDAR BOLA

SALYA MEETHAY NAHI KHARBOZAY NAIN …

Once a Sardar had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so?

He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Teacher: ‘Delhi me Kutubminar hai’
Sardar was sleeping & Teacher wakes him up.
Techer asks: ‘what i said’.
Sardar replies:’Delhi me Kutta bimar hai’ ..:

Sardar ki cycle chori ho gai to us ne elaan kiya:

Meri cycle shaam tak wapis na mili to me wohi kroon ga jo mere bap ne kiya tha.

Chor dar gaya or cycle wapis kr di.phir us ne sardar se poocha:

Ap k bap ne kya kia tha?

Sardar:

‘Onay kisay hor di chuk lai si’

Ek sardar london me double story bus me betha

condector ny usy upar bhej dia sardar bhagta hoa neche waps Aya or bola
marwae ga kya?
opar to driver hi nhi hy.

Lady to inspector sardar: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago,

he hasn’t come back yet!

Sardar: Why don’t u cook something else

Sardar was writing the passive voice of ‘I MADE A MISTAKE’ Guess what did he write?? . ‘ I WAS MADE BY A MISTAKE ! ‘

SaaMer

(aik chota sa Shair)

+92 300 2711 588…

Sardar galti se Daryaah men gir gaya…

Doobtay Doobtay uske haath men Machli aayee.

usay pakar ker bahar phenka or bola:

Ja Tu to apni Jaan bacha le…!!

Sardar got Computer job

1st Day he workd till Night

Boss happy & asked what you did Today?

Sardar: Keyboard Alphabets were Not in order,so I arranged them

Sardar jee went to purchase a color TV.

Sardar jee to Shopkeeper: Do u sell color TVs.

Shopkeeper: Yes sir.

Sardar jee: Give me green one please….

Sardar: my name has been published in a book.

man:that is wonderful,in which book?

Sardar: In the telephone directory

Sardar: Yaar kal raat 3 ghante 1 ENGLISH FILM dekhi.,

Na Koi Seen tha, Na Aawaaaz.!

Friend: Film ka Naam kya tha.?

Sardar: “NO DISC INSERTED “

Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"

…

Sardar: Dr. Saab, mujhe koi aisi dawa den k main aankho se bol sakun . . aur kaano se dekh sakun..?

Dr: ghuse se..

Lo ye 2 goliya,

NAAK se chaba kr kha lo..

In Bio practical:

Examiner: Tell me the name of

this bird by seeing it’s legs only?

Sardar :I don’t know.

Examiner: You failed, what’s your name?

Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

Son to sardar

‘papa…

5+5 kitne hotay hain?

Sardar

‘ullu de pathay,

nalaiq,

Idiot,

Besharam,

Gadhay…

Tujhe kuch nahi ata..

Jaa andar se calculator la.!!

Dr.k band clinic k aagy lambi line thi..
1 sardar bar-bar line main ghusta,log osko pakar k pechy phaink daity…

sardar-lagy raho salo,kain b clinik nahi kholon ga……

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Sardar: You told me to do it without using tables.

Ek Sardar apnay betay k sath lakriyan kaatnay

jangal gaya. Wapsi mein rasta bhool gaya.

Sardar ghussay se apne betay ko maarnay laga

aur bola:

.

.

.

.

kambakht main to rasta bhool gaya hun,

tu to ghar ja.

Sardar ki ma ki death ho gai,

ek sal bad sardar ka bap america sa wapis aya,us na poucha teri ma kahan ha, sardar bola wo to pichlay sal hi mr gai thi,sardar ka bap ronay lga or bola kuttay,kaminay to tu na mujhay btaya q nhi,sardar bola

Me na socha surprise don ga.@

A sardar was rejected at a job interview coz when he was asked to give an example of good team work he replied, ‘ GANGE RAPE’ ….!!!

Santa : “During my operation, Nurse, I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word that upset me very much.”
Nurse : “What word was that?”
Santa : “Oops!”

Sardar ko invitation mila k party me sirf LAAL taai pehan kr ana h

Sardar party me pohncha

To dekha k Logo ne

pent aur shirt b pehni hui h.

SARDAR: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena..!

Storekeeper: App kale bulb ka kia karoge..?

SARDAR: dopher mei sone k liye andhera karna hai.. ;->

…

Police sardr se:

Tumhe chori karte waqt apni Bv or betiyo ka khayal nahi aya?

Sardr:

Khayal to aya tha.

Lekin dukan me sirf mardana soot the.

Sardar?s Leave application

Dear Sir,

My wife is ill.

As there is no other Husband

in the family to look after her,

Kindly grant me leave for one day.