If you must smoke, take your butt outside. ~Author Unknown
He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven. ~Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, What Will He Do With It?, bk I, ch VI
Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it’s the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it. ~Florence King
Watching the smoke dance out of a cigarette is like watching a girl dance out of her dress. ~Terri Guillemets
The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine. ~George D. PrenticeQNFQ
What a weird thing smoking is and I can’t stop it. I feel cosy, have a sense of well-being when I’m smoking, poisoning myself, killing myself slowly. Not so slowly maybe. I have all kinds of pains I don’t want to know about and I know that’s what they’re from. But when I don’t smoke I scarcely feel as if I’m living. I don’t feel as if I’m living unless I’m killing myself. ~Russell Hoban, Turtle Diary, 1975ch 7, CTO
Little tube of mighty pow’r,
Charmer of an idle hour,
Object of my warm desire.
~Isaac Hawkins Browne, "A Pipe of Tobacco"MCTO, parody in imitation of A. Phillips
Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries. ~Luis Bu?uel
A cigarette is a pipe with a fire at one end and a fool at the other. ~Author Unknown
One thousand Americans stop smoking every day – by dying. ~Author Unknown
The cigarette does the smoking – you’re just the sucker. ~Author Unknown
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times. ~Mark Twain, attributed
On CBS Radio the news of [Ed Murrow’s] death, reportedly from lung cancer, was followed by a cigarette commercial. ~Alexander Kendrick
To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960CDN
If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. ~Douglas Adams
The best way to stop smoking is to carry wet matches. ~Author Unknown
Forcing smoke down my lungs is pulmonary rape. It invades my body against my will, and it’s not fair. ~Patty Youngsee jul2008 email
Divine in hookas, glorious in a pipe
When tipp’d with amber, mellow, rich, and ripe;…
Yet thy true lovers more admire by far
Thy naked beauties – give me a cigar!
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, The IslandBMC
The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide. ~Kurt Vonnegut
I’d rather kiss a mad cow on the muzzle than a smoker on the mouth. ~Paul Carvel
Your clothes smell heavily of clothing. Your den is filled with low-hanging palls of fresh air. The only rattle in your car is the sound of toll change in the ashtray. The absence of telltale tobacco stains on your shirt collar tells the tale – you’ve licked the smoking habit. ~Robert Brault, 1973, www.robertbrault.com
Ods me I marle what pleasure or felicity they have in taking their roguish tobacco. It is good for nothing but to choke a man, and fill him full of smoke and embers. ~Ben Jonson, Every Man in His Humour
Tobacco. Tumor causing, teeth staining, smelly, puking habit. ~Arizona Department of Health Services Tobacco Education and Prevention Program ad campaign, created by Riester-Robb Advertising
Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast. ~Woody Allen
I want all hellions to quit puffing that hell fume in God’s clean air. ~Carrie Nationsmoking, Carry A. Nation
Coffee and tobacco are complete repose. ~Turkish ProverbCOCI
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. ~Author Unknown
Tobacco is a dirty weed. I like it.
It satisfies no normal need. I like it.
It makes you thin, it makes you lean,
It takes the hair right off your bean
It’s the worst darn stuff I’ve ever seen.
I like it.
~Graham Lee Hemminger, Tobacco, first published in Penn State Froth, November 1915; BMC