He who doth not smoke hath either

He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven.  ~Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, What Will He Do With It?, bk I, ch VI

Now the only thing i miss about

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward.  Next to the first one in the morning, it’s the best one of all.  It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.  ~Florence King

What a weird thing smoking is and

What a weird thing smoking is and I can’t stop it.  I feel cosy, have a sense of well-being when I’m smoking, poisoning myself, killing myself slowly.  Not so slowly maybe.  I have all kinds of pains I don’t want to know about and I know that’s what they’re from.  But when I don’t smoke I scarcely feel as if I’m living.  I don’t feel as if I’m living unless I’m killing myself.  ~Russell Hoban, Turtle Diary, 1975ch 7, CTO

Little tube of mighty powr charmer an

Little tube of mighty pow’r,
Charmer of an idle hour,
Object of my warm desire.
~Isaac Hawkins Browne, "A Pipe of Tobacco"MCTO, parody in imitation of A. Phillips

On cbs radio the news of ed

On CBS Radio the news of [Ed Murrow’s] death, reportedly from lung cancer, was followed by a cigarette commercial.  ~Alexander Kendrick

To smoke or not to smoke i

To smoke or not to smoke:  I can make of either a life-work.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960CDN

Divine in hookas glorious a pipe when

Divine in hookas, glorious in a pipe
When tipp’d with amber, mellow, rich, and ripe;…
Yet thy true lovers more admire by far
Thy naked beauties – give me a cigar!
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, The IslandBMC

The public health authorities never mention the

The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.  ~Kurt Vonnegut

Your clothes smell heavily of clothing den

Your clothes smell heavily of clothing.  Your den is filled with low-hanging palls of fresh air.  The only rattle in your car is the sound of toll change in the ashtray.  The absence of telltale tobacco stains on your shirt collar tells the tale – you’ve licked the smoking habit.  ~Robert Brault, 1973, www.robertbrault.com

Ods me i marle what pleasure or

Ods me I marle what pleasure or felicity they have in taking their roguish tobacco.  It is good for nothing but to choke a man, and fill him full of smoke and embers.  ~Ben Jonson, Every Man in His Humour

Tobacco is a dirty weed i like

Tobacco is a dirty weed.  I like it.
It satisfies no normal need.  I like it.
It makes you thin, it makes you lean,
It takes the hair right off your bean
It’s the worst darn stuff I’ve ever seen.
I like it.
~Graham Lee Hemminger, Tobacco, first published in Penn State Froth, November 1915; BMC