Kids today, all they talk about is big air.  I say, stay on the mountain, that’s where the action is.  If you want big air, pull my finger.  ~Smooth Johnson

Stretch pants – the garment that made skiing a spectator sport.  ~Author Unknown, in Time Magazine, 23 Feb 1961; CDC

The ski bum trades security for face shots, the future for the moment.  Considering how hollow the promise of a corporate career has become, who can say the ski bum is not the wiser investor in his or her youth?  ~Author Unknown

All things are possible, except for skiing through a revolving door.  ~Author Unknown

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.  ~Author Unknown

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough…. I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.  ~Dave Barry

The sun is bright and the powder’s bitchin’!  ~From How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000 movie), based on book by Dr. Seuss, screenplay by Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman, spoken by the Grinch played by Jim Carrey  (Thanks, Robert)

When it comes to skiing, there’s a difference between what you think it’s going to be like, what it’s really like, and what you tell your friends it was like.  ~Author Unknown

Snow: a form of precipitation that usually occurs three weeks prior to and the morning of your departure from your ski vacation.  ~Author Unknown

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.  ~Dave Barry

The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars’ worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk.  ~P.J. O’Rourke, Modern Manners, 1984CDC

Skiing is the only sport where you spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg.  ~Author UnknownDMCD

Skiing:  the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.  ~Author Unknown