The only reason a great many american

The only reason a great many American families don’t own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.  ~Mad Magazine

A dollar picked up in the road

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way.  ~Mark Twain

If money is your hope for independence

If money is your hope for independence you will never have it.  The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.  ~Henry Ford

I hire tea by the bag martin

I hire tea by the tea bag.  ~Martin Amis, on renting the essentials of life after breaking up with a lover, Money: A Suicide Note, Viking 85, quoted in Time 11 Mar 85, verified in bartleby.com (Thanks to bartleby.com for verifying the details of the source.)

Money does not pay for anything never

Money does not pay for anything, never has, never will.  It is an economic axiom as old as the hills that goods and services can be paid for only with goods and services.  ~Albert Jay Nock, Memoirs of a Superfluous Man, 1943LCD

Money and women theyre two of the

Money and women.  They’re two of the strongest things in the world.  The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else.  Same with money.  ~Satchel Paige

Intaxication euphoria at getting a refund from

Intaxication:  Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.  ~From a Washington Post word contest reader submission word contest in which readers were asked to alter a word by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition

Money is human happiness in the abstract

Money is human happiness in the abstract; and so the man who is no longer capable of enjoying such happiness in the concrete, sets his whole heart on money.  ~Arthur Schopenhauer, Parerga and Paralipomena, 1851, tr. T.B. Saunders, 1890; LOD

Those who live by numbers can also

[T]hose who live by numbers can also perish by them and it is a terrifying thing to have an adding machine write an epitaph, either way.  ~George J.W. Goodman, The Money Game, ch.7, p.84; NA

We may see the small value god

We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to.  ~Alexander Pope, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1727LOD

A mans soul may be buried and

A man’s soul may be buried and perish under a dungheap or in a furrow of the field, just as well as under a pile of money.  ~Nathaniel HawthorneCUL

Im tired of love still more rhyme

I’m tired of Love: I’m still more tired of Rhyme.
But Money gives me pleasure all the time.
~Hilaire Belloc, "Fatigued," Sonnets and Verse, 1923LOD

This planet has or rather had

This planet has – or rather had – a problem, which was this:  most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time.  Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.  ~Douglas Adams

Wealth any income that is at

Wealth – any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one’s wife’s sister’s husband.  ~H.L. Mencken

Few are aware that they want any

Few are aware that they want any thing, except pounds schillings and pence.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

Do not value money for any more

Do not value money for any more nor any less than its worth; it is a good servant but a bad master.  ~Alexandre Dumas fils, Camille, 1852WLBUQ

But tell me how did gold get

But tell me:  how did gold get to be the highest value?  Because it is uncommon and useless and gleaming and gentle in its brilliance; it always gives itself.  Only as an image of the highest virtue did gold get to be the highest value.  The giver’s glance gleams like gold.  A golden brilliance concludes peace between the moon and the sun.  Uncommon is the highest virtue and useless, it is gleaming and gentle in its brilliance:  a gift-giving virtue is the highest virtue.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, On the Gift-Giving Virtue, 1883

Its good to have money and the

It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.  ~George Horace Lorimer

They who are of the opinion that

They who are of the opinion that Money will do everything, may very well be suspected to do everything for Money.  ~George Savile, Complete Works, 1912WLBUQ

Every day i get up and look

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America.  If I’m not there, I go to work.  ~Robert Orben

My old father used to have a

My old father used to have a saying:  If you make a bad bargain, hug it all the tighter.  ~Abraham LincolnCUL

Money may be the husk of many

Money may be the husk of many things but not the kernel.  It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintance, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness.  ~Henrik Ibsen