It takes a woman twenty years to

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.  ~Helen Rowland

On the one hand well never experience

On the one hand, we’ll never experience childbirth.  On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.  ~Bruce Willis, on the difference between men and women

A man always blames the woman who

A man always blames the woman who fools him.  In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.  ~Henry Louis Mencken

Alas it is not the child but

Alas! it is not the child but the boy that generally survives in the man.  ~Arthur Helps, Thoughts in the Cloister and the Crowd, 1835RC

Part of the reason that men seem

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men’s behavior is measured with a feminine ruler.  ~Francesca M. Cancian

I wonder why men get serious at

I wonder why men get serious at all.  They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will.  If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself.  ~Yoko Ono

The first time you buy a house

The first time you buy a house you see how pretty the paint is and buy it.  The second time you look to see if the basement has termites.  It’s the same with men.  ~Lupe Velez

Sometimes i wonder if men and women

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.  Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.  ~Katharine HepburnWRM

Women have served all these centuries as

Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses providing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man as twice its natural size.  ~Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own, 1929WLBUQ

Women speak because they wish to speak

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself – like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks.  ~Jean Kerr, The Snake Has All the Lines, 1960WLBUQ

When a man talks dirty to woman

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment.  When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.  ~Author Unknown

When a man of forty falls in

When a man of forty falls in love with a girl of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own.  ~Lenore CoffeeWRM

Stop im the guy i dont stop

Stop?  I’m the guy.  I don’t stop!  That’s the woman’s job.  We’re the gas, they’re the brakes.  ~Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, EDtv, 1999

Whats the matter with you guys the

What’s the matter with you guys?  The sight of blonde hair knocks you three rungs down on the evolutionary ladder.  ~From the television show Civil Wars

Many a man owes his success to

Many a man owes his success to his first wife, and his second wife to his success.  ~Jim Backus, Morrow’s International Dictionary of Contemporary Quotations, ed. Jonathon Green, 1982; CTO

A mans heart may have a secret

A man’s heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.  ~Helen Rowland

If men can run the world why

If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties?  How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?  ~Linda EllerbeeWRM; WL

Men are clinging to football on a

Men are clinging to football on a level we aren’t even aware of.  For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women.  It’s our Alamo.  ~Tony KornheiserDCD

Imagine what will happen to this nation

Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra.  It will be catastrophic.  The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust.  Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse.  ~Dave Barry

I know many married men even a

I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don’t know one who wouldn’t fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.  ~George Jean Nathan

I like naked women im a bloke

I like naked women.  I’m a bloke.  I’m supposed to like them.  We’re born like that.  We like naked women as soon as we’re pulled out of one…. When man invented fire, he didn’t say, "Hey, let’s cook."  He said, "Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark"… The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms.  ~Coupling, "Inferno," 2 June 2000, written by Steven Moffat