Love seems the swiftest but it is

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths.  No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.  ~Mark TwainRDM

In marriage there are no manners to

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism.  Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again…. We are not ridiculous to ourselves.  We are ageless.  That is the luxury of the wedding ring.  ~Enid Bagnold, Autobiography, 1969

Wasnt marriage like life unstimulating and unprofitable

Wasn’t marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded.  Wasn’t it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt.  ~Edna Ferber, Show Boat, 1926, ch. 19; CTO

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger.  ~George EliotRDM

I guess walking slow getting married is

I guess walking slow getting married is because it gives you time to maybe change your mind.  ~Virginia Cary Hudson, O Ye Jigs & Juleps, 1962LCD  (Thanks, Charlene)

It is not marriage that fails it

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail.  All that marriage does is to show people up.  ~Harry Emerson FosdickCUL

In the early years you fight because

In the early years, you fight because you don’t understand each other.  In the later years, you fight because you do.  ~Joan Didionin O qtd in rdqq

My mother said it was simple to

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.  I said I’d hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit.  ~Jerry HallLTC

The sum which two married people owe

The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation.  It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity.  ~Johann Wolfgang von GoetheRDM

A great poet has seldom sung of

A great poet has seldom sung of lawfully wedded happiness, but of free and secret love; and in this respect, too the time is coming when there will no longer be one standard of morality for poetry and another for life.  To anyone tender of conscience, the ties formed by a free connection are stronger than the legal ones.  ~Ellen Key, quoted by Sprading in Liberty and the Great LibertariansHHQ

Men never know how tired they are

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960CDN

It gives me a headache to think

It gives me a headache to think about that stuff.  I’m just a kid.  I don’t need that kind of trouble.  ~Kenny, age 7, when asked if it’s better to be single or married

I never married because there was no

I never married because there was no need.  I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.  I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.  ~Marie CorelliWRM

My mother once told me that if

[M]y mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they’ll never get all the pennies out of the pot.  ~Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City, 1978CTO

The man who never in his life

The man who never in his life
Has washed the dishes with his wife
Or polished up the silver plate –
He still is largely celibate.
~Christopher Morley, Washing the Dishes, stanza 4; BMC

Sometimes i wonder if men and women

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.  Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.  ~Katherine Hepburn

In the long run wives are to

In the long run wives are to be paid in a peculiar coin – consideration for their feelings.  As it usually turns out this is an enormous, unthinkable inflation few men will remit, or if they will, only with a sense of being overcharged.  ~Elizabeth Hardwick, Seduction and Betrayal, 1974LCD

On rare occasions one does hear of

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.  ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and LoveHHQ

When you realize want to spend the

And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.  And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve.  I came here tonight because [W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.  ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

What we love about is the fever

What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960CDN

Id marry again if i found a

I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he’d be dead within the year.  ~Bette Davis

Many a man in love with dimple

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.  ~Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses, 1910

I came from a big family as

I came from a big family.  As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.  ~Lewis GrizzardFCN

A man marries to have a home

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.  ~W. Somerset MaughamFD

Marriage is an alliance entered into by

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.  ~George Bernard Shaw

By the time youre his shivering and

By the time you’re his
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
~Dorothy ParkerWRM

For two people in a marriage to

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.  ~Bill Cosby, Love and Marriagerdqqfeb2003

A woman who loves her husband is

A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills.  A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor.  ~Paul-Jean TouletCUL

In every marriage more than a week

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce.  The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.  ~Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire

Being divorced is like being hit by

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.  If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.  ~Jean Kerr, Mary, Mary, 1960

Marriage isnt all that its cracked up

Marriage isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.  Let me tell you, honestly.  Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.  ~Larry Gelbart, M*A*S*H, "Bulletin Board," original airdate 14 January 1975, spoken by the character Frank Burns

I dreamed of a wedding elaborate elegance

I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife.
~Author Unknown

After a few years of marriage man

After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her – and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.  ~Helen RowlandRDM; WL; WRM