The universe is merely a fleeting idea

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you’ve just made a down payment on a house.  ~Woody AllenMCDD

After all what is your hosts purpose

After all, what is your host’s purpose in having a party?  Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.  ~P.J. O’Rourke

Say what you will about the ten

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.  ~H.L. MenckenPCR

Protect me from knowing what i dont

Protect me from knowing what I don’t need to know.  Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don’t know.  Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about.  Amen.  ~Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmlessch9, NA

I usually lump organized religion labor and

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants.  ~Dave Beard2:36 AM Sep 18th, 2008 twitter.com/Raqhun/status/925709969

A prisoner of war is a man

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.  ~Sir Winston Churchill

You know why the french dont want

You know why the French don’t want to bomb Saddam Hussein?  Because he hates America, he loves mistresses, and he wears a beret.  He is French, people.  ~Conan O’Brien, 2003

I used to eat a lot of

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.  ~Author Unknown

Before you criticize someone should walk a

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.  ~Jack Handey

You know the world is going crazy

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.  Need I say more?  ~Chris Rock

A conclusion is the place where you

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.  ~Attributed to Arthur McBride BlochPMB; quoted by Martin H. Fischer in Fischerisms, 1930-1944