It’s my luck that every time I feel I completely comprehend God’s plan, I don’t have a pencil with me.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.  ~Grace Hopper

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.  ~Will RogersPH

A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.  ~Franklin P. Jones

I tell you this, and I tell you plain:
What you have done, you will do again;
You will bite your tongue, careful or not,
Upon the already-bitten spot.
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960CDN

Self-Checkout Line ? The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment. ~Richard Turner (1937-2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. “The Mudge,” from “The Curmudgeon’s Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases”grammarmudge.cityslide.com/articles/article/718614/128229.htm; tpv,uwp,qe2

It’s annoying to be disapproved of by people who know only half the story – especially when you’re not sure which half they know.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he’s talking about.  ~Sam Ewing

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.  ~Author Unknown

Shin:  a device for finding furniture in the dark.  ~Author Unknown

No one is listening until you fart.  ~Author Unknown

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.  ~Author Unknown

Amount of time it takes for a dog to "do its business" is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner’s outerwear.  ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, www.wildthymecreative.comamount of time it takes for a dog to “do it’s business” is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner’s outerwear. 5:17 AM Jan 13th 2009 twitter.com/wildthyme/status/1115475269

Warranty ? A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function. ~Richard Turner (1937-2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. “The Mudge,” from “The Curmudgeon’s Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases”grammarmudge.cityslide.com/articles/article/718614/128229.htm; tpv,uwp,qe2

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.  ~Murphy’s Law

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.  ~Edgar Allan Poe

If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark.  ~Leopold FechtnerFCN

I have never met anyone who wanted to save the world without my financial support.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?  ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?  ~Christy Whitehead

What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com