Amount of time it takes for a

Amount of time it takes for a dog to "do its business" is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner’s outerwear.  ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, www.wildthymecreative.comamount of time it takes for a dog to “do it’s business” is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner’s outerwear. 5:17 AM Jan 13th 2009 twitter.com/wildthyme/status/1115475269

Warranty a notice telling the buyer

Warranty ? A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function. ~Richard Turner (1937-2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. “The Mudge,” from “The Curmudgeon’s Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases”grammarmudge.cityslide.com/articles/article/718614/128229.htm; tpv,uwp,qe2

Tell a man there are 300 billion

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.  ~Murphy’s Law

How is it that our memory good

How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?  ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

How is it that one match can

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?  ~Christy Whitehead

I tell you this and plain what

I tell you this, and I tell you plain:
What you have done, you will do again;
You will bite your tongue, careful or not,
Upon the already-bitten spot.
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960CDN

Self checkout line the place where customers

Self-Checkout Line ? The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment. ~Richard Turner (1937-2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. “The Mudge,” from “The Curmudgeon’s Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases”grammarmudge.cityslide.com/articles/article/718614/128229.htm; tpv,uwp,qe2