Golf Quotes SMS Collection

The ardent golfer would play mount everest

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.  ~Pete DyeDCD

The least thing upset him on the

The least thing upset him on the links.  He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.  ~P.G. WodehouseCG

Fifty years ago 100 white men chasing

google_ad_section_start(weight=ignore) Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan.  Today it’s called the

But you dont have to go up

But you don’t have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls.  I do.  ~Sam Snead, to Ted Williams, arguing which

It is more satisfying to be a

It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf.  The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot.  ~Nubar

In golf you keep your head down

In golf, you keep your head down and follow through.  In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through.  It’s a

I never pray to god make a

I never pray to God to make a putt.  I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.  ~Chi

Golf is not on the whole a

Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists.  By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.  ~Heywood Hale BrounCG

To some golfers the greatest handicap is

To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.  ~Author Unknown

The only time my prayers are never

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.  ~Billy Graham

I would like to deny all allegations

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an

Im not saying my golf game went

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.  ~Attributed to both Miller Barber and Lee

His driving is unbelievable i dont go

His driving is unbelievable.  I don’t go that far on my holidays.  ~Ian Baker-Finch, on John DalyCG

Any game where a man 60 can

Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain’t no game.  ~Burt ShottenCG

Im about five inches from being an

I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer.  That’s the distance my left ear is from my right.  ~Ben CrenshawCG

Golf is a game in which the

Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.  ~Art RosenbaumDMCD

Golf appeals to the idiot in us

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child.  Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count

May thy ball lie in green pastures

May thy ball lie in green pastures… and not in still waters.  ~Author Unknown

Through years of experience i have found

Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.  ~Jack Nicklaus, on why he tees his ball high.

Golf is a fascinating game it has

Golf is a fascinating game.  It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.  ~Ted Ray, Golf – My

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill

[Golf] is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.  ~Winston Churchill, quoted in William Manchester, The Last Lion, 1983; LCD

Reverse every natural instinct and do the

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having

If there is any larceny in a

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.  ~Paul Gallico, quoted in New York Times, 6 Mar 1977; CDC

Drugs are very much a part of

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players

The best wood in most amateurs bags

The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil.  ~Author Unknown

If your opponent is playing several shots

If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count

Dont play too much golf two rounds

Don’t play too much golf.  Two rounds a day are plenty.  ~Harry Vardon

A golfers diet live on greens as

A golfer’s diet:  live on greens as much as possible.  ~Author Unknown

What other people may find in poetry

What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.  ~Arnold Palmer

Baseball players quit playing and they take

Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf.  Basketball players quit, take up golf.  Football players quit, take up golf.  What are we

One minute youre bleeding the next hemorrhaging

One minute you’re bleeding.  The next minute you’re hemorrhaging.  The next minute you’re painting the Mona Lisa.  ~Mac O’Grady, describing a typical round of

One of the advantages bowling has over

One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.  ~Don Carter, pro bowler; DCD; DMCD; CG

34after all golf is only a game34

"After all, golf is only a game," said Millicent.  Women say these things without thinking.  It does not mean that there is a kink

Golf is a game where white men

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.  ~Robin Williams, 1986CDC

If i can hit a curveball why

If I can hit a curveball, why can’t I hit a ball that is standing still on a course?  ~Larry NelsonCG

Golf is the cruelest game because eventually

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap

No game designed to be played with

No game designed to be played with the aid of personal servants by right-handed men who can’t even bring along their dogs can be

Golf is life if you cant take

Golf is life.  If you can’t take golf, you can’t take life.  ~Author UnknownCDC

Golf combines two favorite american pastimes taking

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes:  taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.  ~P.J. O’RourkeDCD

Golf is not just an exercise its

Golf is not just an exercise; it’s an adventure, a romance… a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined.  ~Harold SegallCG

Golf is an awkward set of bodily

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.  ~Tommy ArmourCG

Whats nice about our tour is you

What’s nice about our tour is you can’t remember your bad shots.  ~Bob Bruce, about the senior tourCG

If im on the course and lightning

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast.  If God wants to play through, let him.  ~Bob HopeCDC

If a lot of people gripped knife

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death.  ~Sam SneadCG

Swinging at daisies is like playing electric

Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket:  if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia.  The

You are meant to play the ball

You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life. 

Golf isnt like other sports where you

Golf isn’t like other sports where you can take a player out if he’s having a bad day.  You have to play the whole

I play in the low 80s if

I play in the low 80s.  If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play.  ~Joe E. LewisDMCD; CG

Forget your opponents always play against par

Forget your opponents; always play against par.  ~Sam SneadCG

They say golf is like life but

They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them.  Golf is more complicated than that.  ~Gardner Dickinson

One thing about golf is you dont

One thing about golf is you don’t know why you play bad and why you play good.  ~George ArcherCG

Man blames fate for other accidents but

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one.  ~Martha BeckmanDMCD; CG

If i had my way any man

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families

Playing the game i have learned meaning

Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility.  It has given me an understanding of futility of the human effort.  ~Abba EbanCG

I have a tip that can take

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game:  it’s called an eraser.  ~Arnold PalmerDMCD; CG

There is one thing in this world

There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf.  That is watching someone else playing golf.  What do you actually

After all these years its still embarrassing

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour.  Like the time I asked my caddie for

They throw their clubs backwards and thats

They throw their clubs backwards, and that’s wrong.  You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk

A golf course is nothing but a

A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.  ~Barry Fitzgerald, Going My WayCG

To play golf is to spoil an

[T]o play golf is to spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk.  ~Attributed to "the Allens," as quoted by H.S. Scrivener in Lawn Tennis at Home

If you want to take long walks

If you want to take long walks, take long walks.  If you want to hit things with sticks, hit things with sticks.  But there’s

A 34gimme34 can best be defined as

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.  ~Author Unknown

If you drink dont drive dont even

If you drink, don’t drive.  Don’t even putt.  ~Dean MartinDMCD

Find a man with both feet firmly

Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you’ve found a man about to make a difficult putt.  ~Fletcher KnebelCG

I just hope dont have to explain

I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.  ~Bob Hope,

I dont like watching golf on tv

I don’t like watching golf on TV.  I can’t stand whispering.  ~David BrennerCG

I know am getting better at golf

I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.  ~Gerald Ford

Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts

Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts.  A dinner without wine.  ~Jim MurrayCG

When you hear someone shout 34you da

When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain’t shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain’t da man.  ~Ron Green, Charlotte ObserverCG

Golf is played by twenty million mature

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.  ~Jim Bishop

Golf is a lot of walking broken

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.  ~Author UnknownCDC

The average golfer doesnt play golf he

The average golfer doesn’t play golf.  He attacks it.  ~Jack BurkeCUL

If you call on god to improve

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using "an outside agency"

Golf is so popular simply because it

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.  ~A.A. MilneCDC; CG

Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism

Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out-of-doors.  ~Paul O’NeilCUL

Trevino is in a league by himself

Trevino is in a league by himself.  We don’t even count him.  We figure when you come in second, you’re a winner.  ~Chi Chi

Ive spent most of my life golfing

I’ve spent most of my life golfing – the rest I’ve just wasted.  ~Author Unknown

Born to golf forced work author unknown

Born to golf.  Forced to work.  ~Author Unknown

My handicap woods and irons chris codiroli

My handicap?  Woods and irons.  ~Chris Codiroli

Even god has to practice his putting

Even God has to practice his putting.  ~Golf SayingCG