As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.  ~Jack Handey

Three-fourths of the Earth’s surface is water, and one-fourth is land.  It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn.  ~Chuck Clark

[C]atching fish is as incidental to fishing as making babies is to fucking.  ~William Humphrey, CDAS

The best way to a fisherman’s heart is through his fly.  ~Author Unknown

The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad.  ~A.K. Best

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.  ~Dave Barry

All fishermen are liars; it’s an occupational disease with them like housemaid’s knee or editor’s ulcers.  ~Beatrice Cook, Till Fish Do Us Part, 1949CDAS

I am not against golf, since I cannot but suspect it keeps armies of the unworthy from discovering trout…  ~Paul O’NeilCDAS

It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.  ~John SteinbeckCDC; CUL

Fishing is the sport of drowning worms.  ~Author UnknownCDC

There is certainly something in angling that tends to produce a serenity of the mind.  ~Washington Irving

There is no greater fan of fly fishing than the worm.  ~Patrick F. McManus, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, 1979CDAS

Good things come to those who bait.  ~Author Unknown

Even eminent chartered accountants are known, in their capacity as fishermen, blissfully to ignore differences between seven and ten inches, half a pound and two pounds, three fish and a dozen fish.  ~William Sherwood Fox, Silken Lines and Silver Hooks, 1954CDAS

If you’ve got short, stubby fingers and wear reading glasses, any relaxation you would normally derive from fly fishing is completely eliminated when you try to tie on a fly.  ~Jack Ohman, Fear of Fly Fishing, 1988CDAS

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.  ~Author Unknown

Scholars have long known that fishing eventually turns men into philosophers.  Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to buy decent tackle on a philosopher’s salary.  ~Patrick F. McManus

The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope.  ~John BuchanCUL

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.  ~Doug Larson

Enjoy thy stream, O harmless fish;
And when an angler for his dish,
Through gluttony’s vile sin,
Attempts, the wretch, to pull thee out,
God give thee strength, O gentle trout,
To pull the rascal in!
~John Wolcot

A bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work.  ~Author Unknown

I fish better with a lit cigar; some people fish better with talent.  ~Nick Lyons, Bright Rivers, 1977p40, CDAS

Bragging may not bring happiness, but no man having caught a large fish goes home through an alley.  ~Author UnknownCUL

Gone fishin’, be back at dark-thirty!  ~Author Unknown

…trout that doesn’t think two jumps and several runs ahead of the average fisherman is mighty apt to get fried.  ~Beatrice Cook, Till Fish Do Us Part, 1949p14, CDAS

You cannot catch trout with dry breeches. ~Spanish Proverb

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali.  He was using a dotted line.  He caught every other fish.  ~Steven Wright