Election 2000 Quotes SMS Collection

Take our politicians theyre a bunch of

Take our politicians:  they’re a bunch of yo-yos.  The presidency is now a cross between a popularity contest and a high school debate, with

Dick cheney had a mild heart attack

Dick Cheney had a mild heart attack, but they say he’ll soon be able to resume his regular activities.  I thought having heart attacks

Youve got bush and gore headed to

You’ve got Bush and Gore headed to the Supreme Court.  You’ve got George W. Bush’s intelligence will be pitted against Al Gore’s honesty.  This

Every two years the american politics industry

Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in

At the rate were going inaugural ball

At the rate we’re going, the Inaugural Ball is going to be a surprise party.  ~Argus Hamilton

He struggles to exude authority furrows his

He struggles to exude authority.  He furrows his brow, trying to look more sagacious, but he ends up looking as if he has indigestion. 

Count ballots not judges author unknown

Count ballots, not judges.  ~Author Unknown

Truth is not determined by majority vote

Truth is not determined by majority vote.  ~Doug Gwyn

Democracy is being allowed to vote for

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.  ~Robert Byrne

Hell i never vote for anybody always

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.  ~W.C. Fields

Dont vote it only encourages them billy

Don’t vote, it only encourages them. ~Billy Connolly, An Audience with Billy Connolly, 1985

Do you ever get the feeling that

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?  ~Robert Orben

Dont blame me i voted with the

Don’t blame me.  I voted with the majority.  ~Author Unknown

Democracy was getting old anyway author unknown

Democracy was getting old anyway.  ~Author Unknown

Which is worse screwing an intern or

Which is worse, screwing an intern or screwing the country?  ~Author Unknown

If god wanted us to vote he

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.  ~Jay LenoBTSG

Whenever a man has cast longing eye

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct.  ~Thomas Jefferson, letter to Tench Coxe, 21 May

One person one vote may not apply

One person, one vote.*  (*May not apply in all states.)  ~Author Unknown

If every vote counts then count vote

If every vote counts, then count every vote!  ~Author Unknown

The good news is the white house

The good news is the White House is now giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings.  Some of these jokes actually write themselves.  ~David Letterman

The problem with political jokes is they

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.  ~Henry Cate