Dieting Quotes SMS Collection

As for food half of my friends

As for food, half of my friends have dug their graves with their teeth.  ~Chauncey M. DepewCOE

Ive been on a constant diet for

I’ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades.  I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds.  By all accounts, I should be

Saying yes to the skinny jeans by

Saying yes to the skinny jeans by saying no to the donuts.  ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, www.wildthymecreative.comtwitter.com/wildthyme/status/2237599077

Forget love id rather fall in

Forget love – I’d rather fall in chocolate!  ~Attributed to Sandra J. Dykes

My wife is a light eater as

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat. ~Henny Youngmancoci

If hunger is not the problem then

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.  ~Author Unknown

Govern well thy appetite lest sin surprise

Govern well thy appetite, lest Sin Surprise thee, and her black attendant, Death. ~John MiltonCOE

The leading cause of death among fashion

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.  ~Dave Barry

Dieting is wishful shrinking author unknown

Dieting is wishful shrinking.  ~Author Unknown

You know its time to diet when

You know it’s time to diet when you push away from the table and the table moves.  ~Quoted in The Cockle Bur

If you really want to be depressed

If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams.  ~Jason Love

In the middle ages they had guillotines

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains.  Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom

I am not a glutton an

I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.  ~Erma BombeckETW, COCI

A diet is the penalty we pay

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit.  ~Author Unknown

We never repent of having eaten too

We never repent of having eaten too little.  ~Thomas Jefferson, 1825DCMOO

I am a nutritional overachiever author unknown

I am a nutritional overachiever.  ~Author Unknown

I keep trying to lose weight but

I keep trying to lose weight… but it keeps finding me!  ~Author Unknown

In general mankind since the improvement of

In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.  ~Benjamin Franklin

I go up and down the scale

I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they’ll find me like a strip

Albert einstein who discovered that a tiny

Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself

Clogged with yesterdays excess the body drags

Clogged with yesterday’s excess, the body drags the mind down with it.  ~HoraceETW

To promise not to do a thing

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that

Im in shape round is a shape

I’m in shape.  Round is a shape… isn’t it?  ~Author Unknown

I feel about airplanes the way diets

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.  ~Author Unknown

Never eat more than you can lift

Never eat more than you can lift.  ~Miss PiggyETW

Probably nothing in the world arouses more

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.  ~Dan Bennett

Another good reducing exercise consists in placing

Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back. ~Robert Quillen

I have gained and lost the same

I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.  ~Jane WagnerNEMYL

Where do you go to get anorexia

Where do you go to get anorexia?  ~Shelley WintersETW

You cant lose weight by talking about

You can’t lose weight by talking about it.  You have to keep your mouth shut.  ~Author Unknown

The only way to lose weight is

The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage.  ~Peggy RyanWL

History is apt to judge harshly those

History is apt to judge harshly those who sacrifice tomorrow for today.  ~Harold MacMillanCUL

Inside some of us is a thin

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate

The first thing you lose on a

The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor.  ~Author Unknown

Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks author unknown

Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks.  ~Author Unknown

If i had been around when rubens

If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.  Kate Moss?  Well, she would have

Reality check you can never ever use

Reality check:  you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight.  At your goal weight or

The commonest form of malnutrition in the

The commonest form of malnutrition in the western world is obesity.  ~Mervyn DeitelDCMOO

I have a great diet youre allowed

I have a great diet.  You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.  ~Ed BluestoneCOCI

Im not overweight just nine inches too

I’m not overweight.  I’m just nine inches too short.  ~Shelley Winters

Dont dig your grave with own knife

Don’t dig your grave with your own knife and fork.  ~English ProverbCOCI

The cardiologists diet if it tastes good

The cardiologist’s diet:  If it tastes good, spit it out.  ~Author Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.  ~Andy

She looked as if she had been

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say “when.” ~P.G. Wodehousepcr

Im on a seafood diet i see

I’m on a seafood diet.  I see food and I eat it.  ~Author Unknown

When friends tell you how awesome look

When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap.  You worked hard and you deserve the

Dont go out of your weigh to

Don’t go out of your weigh to please anyone but yourself. ~Author Unknown

Were the country that has more food

We’re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from

Obesity is a mental state disease brought

Obesity is a mental state, a disease brought on by boredom and disappointment.  ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet GraveDCMOO

All people are made alike of

All people are made alike – of bones and flesh and dinner – Only the dinners are different. ~Gertrude Louise CheneyETW

Ive been on a diet for two

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is fourteen days.  ~Totie Fields

Gluttony is not a secret vice orson

Gluttony is not a secret vice.  ~Orson Welles

A waist is a terrible thing to

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.  ~Tom WilsonNEMYL