Curmudgeon Quotes SMS Collection

The army of wrongness rampant in the

[T]he army of wrongness rampant in the world might as well march over me.  ~Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, 1958

We semaphore from ship to ship but

We semaphore from ship to ship, but they’re sinking, too.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966CSN

My heart is glass daily shattered jaesse

My heart is glass, daily shattered.  ~Jaesse Tyler

Youre obliged to pretend respect for people

You’re obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd.  You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions

Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy

Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation.  ~James Thurber, Further Fables for Our Time, 1956LCD

He seems to have seen better days

He seems To have seen better days, as who has not Who has seen yesterday? ~George Gordon, Lord Byron, Werner, act I, sc 1;

Oftentimes when people are miserable they will

Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too.  But it never helps.  ~Lemony Snicket

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.  ~Ernest Hemingway  (Thanks, Schanna)

I dont answer the phone get feeling

I don’t answer the phone.  I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end.  ~Fred CouplesCG

All our lives we are putting pennies

All our lives we are putting pennies – our most golden pennies – into penny-in-the-slot machines that are almost always empty.  ~Logan Pearsall Smith

Many of us go through life feeling

Many of us go through life feeling as an actor might feel who does not like his part, and does not believe in the

Satire is a sort of glass wherein

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own.  ~Jonathan Swift, The Battle of the Books, 1704LCD

Fate stalks us with depressing monotony from

Fate stalks us with depressing monotony from womb to tomb, and, when we are least expecting it, deals us a series of crushing blows

I put the question directly to myself

[I] put the question directly to myself:  "Suppose that all your objects in life were realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions

Oh for a lodge in some vast

Oh for a lodge in some vast wilderness, Some boundless contiguity of shade, Where rumour of oppression and deceit, Of unsuccessful or successful war,

A satirist is a man who discovers

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.  ~Peter McArthur

A cynic is a person searching for

A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.  ~Edgar A. Shoaff

Medved233nko 34why do you always wear black34

Medvedénko:  "Why do you always wear black?" Masha:  "I am in mourning for my life." ~Anton Chekhov, The SeagullOPV

br / I am too tired to fight, but too stubborn to conform to t

I am too tired to fight, but too stubborn to conform to the ways of this fucked up world.  I give up.  ~Author Unknown,

Not to be born at all would

Not to be born at all would be the best thing for man, never to behold the sun’s scorching rays; but if one is

Perhaps if we saw what was ahead

Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would

Why is it that we rejoice at

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?  Is it because we are not the person involved?  ~Mark

I hate to be near the sea

I hate to be near the sea, and to hear it raging and roaring like a wild beast in its den.  It puts me

The only thing that could spoil a

The only thing that could spoil a day was people.  People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were

Paradoxical as it sounds many intellectuals prefer

Paradoxical as it sounds, many intellectuals prefer life in the mud to life in clear water.  ~Martin H. FischerFFM

I like long walks especially when theyre

I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.  ~Fred AllenCUL

All my joys to this are folly

All my joys to this are folly, Naught so sweet as melancholy. ~Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy, 1651LCD

Comfort or revelation god owes us one

Comfort, or revelation:  God owes us one of these, but surely not both.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960CDN

Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit

Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit.  ~Author Unknown

A cynic knows the price of everything

A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.  ~Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1893LCD

Man is the cruelest animal at tragedies

Man is the cruelest animal.  At tragedies, bullfights, and crucifixions he has so far felt best on earth; and when he invented hell for

I advise you to go on living

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities.  It is the only pleasure I have left. 

Men hate to be misunderstood and understood

Men hate to be misunderstood, and to be understood makes them furious.  ~Edgar SaltusCUL

Nothing is more miserable than man of

Nothing is more miserable than man, Of all upon the earth that breathes and creeps. ~Homer, IliadLO

I do not believe in revealed religion

I do not believe in revealed religion – I will have nothing to do with your immortality; we are miserable enough in this life,

Happy endings are only stories that havent

Happy endings are only stories that haven’t finished yet.  ~Simon Kinberg, Mr. & Mrs. Smith