All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.  ~Grant Wood

Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said, "I think that I’ll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?"  ~Bill Watterson

A mind of the caliber of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows.  ~George Bernard Shaw

I’d rather kiss a mad cow on the muzzle than a smoker on the mouth.  ~Paul Carvel

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.  ~Dave Barry

Condensed milk is wonderful.  I don’t see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.  ~Fred Allen

The human body has no more need for cows’ milk than it does for dogs’ milk, horses’ milk, or giraffes’ milk.  ~Michael Klaper

Custard:  A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.  ~Ambrose Bierce

When a cow laughs, does milk come out her nose?  ~Author Unknown

To laugh is human but to moo is bovine.  ~Author Unknown

There’s something about getting up at 5 a.m., feeding the stock and chickens, and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a lifelong respect for the price of butter and eggs.  ~Bill Vaughan

All is not butter that comes from the cow.  ~Proverb

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.  ~Proverb

If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow.  ~William Lyon Phelps

A cow is a very good animal in the field, but we turn her out of a garden.  ~Samuel Johnson

Greatness alone in not enough, or the cow would outrun the hare.  ~Proverb