Collection of Funny SMS Messages

Latest & New funny SMS messages collection in hindi, urdu & english


Why Do Gals Act Like Idiots ????
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Who Says They Are Acting?
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Chalo Faraz ab yahan se khisko . . . . . . . kion k dil mein mere hai DARD-e-DISCO


Gabbar : arey oo samba ! Kitne admi the re?

Samba : pata nahi sarkar ! Mein to aurtein hi gin raha tha.
...


Gandhi: Dekh babay aaj 60 saloon ke baad meray Mulak mein kya kuch ban gaya. Teray mulak mein kya bana?

Quaid_e_Azam: Biscuits badal gaye Bistiks ban gaye
...


Professional Lover's:

Hajjaam:

chehry pe mery zulf ko bikhrao kisi din

doctor:

akhir is dard ki dawa kya hy?

Sunara:

kash main tery haseen hath ka kangan hota

wakeel:

wo qadam qadam pe jeety, main qadam pe haara

choki daar:

tooti hy meri nend magar tumko is sy kya?

Maali:

suna hy boly to baton sy phool jharty hain

police:

main qatal hova kesy mery yar sy pocho

driver:

Barra kathan hy Raasta jo aa sako to sath do . . . :p ;->...


Larki ka bap larki se: jise tum pasand karti ho us k pas bangala car jaidad he.
Larki: toba he sub mard 1 jese hote hen wo bhi aap k bare ma yahi puch raha tha...


An Elephant meets an Ant.

ANT: Tumhari umer kitni hai?
ELEPHANT: 5 saal.
ANT: 5 saal aur itne barrey.
ELEPHANT: Main NEEDO jo peeta hoon.

ELEPHANT: Tumhari umer kitni hai?
ANT: 30 saal.
ELEPHANT: 30 saal aur itni chhoti...
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ANT: I use LUX, meri khoobsurti se umer ka pata he nahi chalta......


Message pe message bhejte ho, bhej bhej ke bheja kharab karte ho, bhejte ho toh bhi kya bhejte ho, khudka bheja to chalta nahi dosron ka bheja hua bhejte ho!!

...


Sania Mirza Started Playing Tennis At The Age Of 6..




After That.





Everything In Her Life Changed..

Except Her

"SKIRT"...


Teacher:dosron ki madad karna hamara farz ha.
Student:agar aisa he ha tho pir ap exam mei hamari madad q nai kartey?...


U
Know
Students
Ki
Kab
EID
Hoti
Hai





































































Jab teachers chutti karty hain...


Aik bad news..


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Aap kabhi maa nahi bun sakte.....


A student attached a 100 rupee note to his test paper n wrote
"Rs 1 for 1 mark"

The paper checker sent him Rs 81 back n wrote "U got 19 marks keep the change"...


1 andha police mein bhrti hony k lye gya

Officer ne poocha tumhein hum kis liye rakhein

Andhey ne foran jawb dya
andha-dhund firing k lye. .
...


Jaley to aag, bujhe to raakh kehte han, kobra ko nag to garden ko baagh kehte hain, jo ap k pas nahi usko"DAMAGH" kehte hain. ...


STUDENT TO MATHS TEACHER: Sir English Teacher English Main


Burey Aamal
ki waja se, merne k baad,


kuch Mard (Men)



Bhoot
ban jatey hai,

Lekin Tamam
Aurten (women)



Merney k Baad b



Churailen
hi rehti hai....


Ishq main fanni kharabi...........Munqata hi ho geya saab silsila
Is tarha toota hai un se wasta....jis tarha T.V main toote rabta

...


Andhi ChLay tO SaB Se pEhLay kYa Hota Hai?


Ankhain bAnd h0ti hAin.


Na


Darwazay bAjtay Hain,


Na.



LOG Munh Per r0maL Rakhtay hyN


Na. . .



CoMm0n Sense
YaAr



"LIGHT JATI HAI"...


Aap ka roz subha ko
hamare ghar ana

Kabhi ghanti bajana
Kabhi darwaza khat khatana

Kabhi pyar se bolna
kabhi ghose se chelaana k

"Ghar Walo"

"Kachra Dey Do"...


1 khatoon jewelry ki dukan ma dakhl huin aur dukandar sy pocha"ye sona ki angothi kitna ki ha?"
shopkepr"dus hazar rupe ki"
khatoon ne thandi sans bhari aur pocha"wo jo kona ma haar rkha ha iski qeemt btain"
dukandar "3 thandi sansain" ...


Once A Woodcutter Went To A City.

Suddenly Al The Gals Started Followin Him

And Became Crazy About Him.

Guess Why?

THE AXE EFFECT
...


Jab ap paida huway
tab aakash se phool barse,pariyon ne jashan kiya,

ghee k diye jalae,

aur bole

CHALO CHUTKARA MILA,

AB DUNYA WALE BHUGTAIN GE......


When
Pockets

Full Of

Money

Girls

Are

Many...



When

Pocket

Be Comes

Empty"



Girls
Become
420
Public Awareness Pass To All Boys...


Bachpan mei ki muhabbat . . .

Jawani mei howe barbad . . .

WAH WAH . . .

Ticket thi FAISALABAD ki or pohanch gaye HYDERABAD . . ...


Jo larkion ko kehty hain baji unki nahe hoti hy shadi
Jo boys rehty hain larkion k pas wohi hotay hain firstclas
Jo boys ko kehti hain bahi
Hoti hain wo harjaie...


sardar1: yaar tum ne teeth pe blue ink kyon lagai hui hai?

sardar2: oye pagal! aaj kal blue tooth ka zamana hai na
...


Golden Words.:

" A Man Who Is Behind Cigratte, Drugs, Alcohol,

Is More Safe Then

A Man Who Is Behind A Girl.."...


If A Boy Gives A Luv Letter 2 A Girl

People Call Him "Loffer"

But If A Girl Gives A Letter 2 A Boy

They Call It "Offer"

Feel The Difference. ...


"SAJJAD ALI"
Presents!
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"Chal raendey"...


Experiencd Man Says:

?The Real Problem Doesnt

Start Whn Boy Starts Luking At A Girl.

It Begins,

Whn She Turns

&

Looks Back At D Guy

...


Baap: Beta shadi k din susral walay ghari dien tu suit mang lena. Scooter dien tu car mang lena,Dokan dien tu ghar
Beta: Dady larki dien tu oski Maa mang lon?...


Malika Sherawat Ko Airport Customs Counter Pr Chck Krte Huye Pucha:
Ye MatchBox Kis Lye Hy Aur Is Me Kia Hy?
Malika Sherawat: Aray Is Me Sirf Mere Kapre Hyn ;->...


Sheikh ka Beta Girl Friend k sath Ghoom k Ghar aya to Baap ne Pocha:
Kitnay paisy kharch kiye?
Beta:50 rupye
Baap: itnay saray?
Beta:Abba us k pas 50 hi thay!!...


I Am Making A List Of
All Things
That
I Ought To Do Before
I Die . . .
It's Called My
"0ughttobiograpy"... =P =D
...



1 of the most funniest and shortest joke u ever heard . . . .
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Next year Pakistan will export electricity!! :-D
...


Everything is possible in this universe, nothing impossible.
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Wana example ?
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Very Simple Yaar,
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Imran Hashmi In Jannat.

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1 larka tha diwana Ca,mobile le kr phirta tha,nzren joka k,mobile me kuch dekha krta thi,jab b milta thi muj se, Bas yehi pocha krta tha,Ye on kesay hota hai? ...


1 Admi ka inteqal ho gya.
Uska dost us ki BV k paas aaya Or bola:
Kya main us ki jagah le sakta hoon?
BV:Mujhe koi Etraz nahi
QABRASTAN walon se pooch lo..=P;->...


An Old man said 2 h?S Son:BETA,Meri battery down ho rahi hai,coverage bhi kam hoti ja Rahi Hai,Khansta hoON To vibrate krta hoON,outg?ing bhi Free ho Gai hai,INcoming Zero hai,NETWNORK kA koi Pata nahi Kab khtam Ho Jaye,MERay Liay Koi Achi C meDICINE le aAO,
Son Went 2 fRENCH?Ze instead to go meDICAL HAll,And took a warid Sim 4 h?S dAD so That hE swallowed him,

Y?

BecOz. . . .

Warid
?LIFE KA NETWORK?
Her Dam apkay saATH.
...


Angrez zamano ki kahania.!

Once there waz a mouse

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He goes slowly to his home.

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He continue his journey slowly

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There waz brigde in way of mouse

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He slowly crosed the brigde

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He waz nearly to his home

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At last he reached the home after long time

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Moral:

slowly and steady wins the race
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Baap betey se:beta btao "alif" se kya ata hy..?








Beta:Ye"Alif" walif se ajkl kuch nhi ata..






Sb pesey se ata hy... ;-...


Aj kal larkion k kapray
yahan se less wahan se less
kabhi sleeveless to kabhi backless
or koi larka ghoor k dekhe to
'oh how mannerless'!
...


Love is IODEX
hr kisam k dard
Dour kary'

LOVE is SUPEREME
... 'yehi to hai wo apna pan'

LOVE is HABIB COOKING OIL
'Q K ye dil ka mamla hai'

Love is GOLD LEAF
'sehat k liye muzzir hai'

Love is SUFI BANASPATI
'jo naam hai aitemaad ka'

Lekin asal may
Love is DISPRIN
'Bachoon ki pohanch se door rakhaen' :-).


Aik admi ne apnay dost doctor se pocha.'tum jis mareez ko bhi dekhtay ho sub se pehlay ye hi pochtay ho ke raat ko tumne kia khaya tha ,is ke kia waja hai?'
doctor ne muskura ker jawab dia,'is say mareez ki mali hasiat kay baray ka pata chalta hai. ...


Do u know...how Newton found 2nd and 3rd law of motion?

He gave a force "F" by kicking a cow and 4 dat it gave a sound "MA".So he formulatd 2nd law (F=MA). After few sec da cow gave back kick 2 Newton then he formulated 3rd law. i.e. 'FOR EVERY ACTION THERE is AN EQUAL N OPPOSITE REACTION":...


3 Charsi Motorcycle Pe Ja Rahe thy.
Darmyan Waly ko AWAZ sunai di

" Thaaaaaaa "

Usne apne Aagy Wale se Pocha: Goli tenu laggi a?

Usne kaha: Nai.

Usne Apne Peechy Wale se Pocha: Te Fer Goli Tenu laggi a?

Wo B Bola: Nai.

Wo Khud Neechy Gir Gaya: Le fer Menu e lagi hai...


Yar plz ye msg sab ko send kr do 1 larki age 18 shadi k last stage pe ha


What We Get After Watching The Film Bodyguard...?
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A New Ringtone.. =P ;


Aik farishta janwaroo ko un ki zat bata raha tha
Sher:jutt
Rajput:Cheeta
Butt:Arayin
Malik:Zebra
Khota:Arayin
Khota replied O PA JI ma KHOTA hi theak wa.....
...


Jab PANCHI Sare Urr Jayen

Har Simt ANDHERE Chaa Jaye

Jab Guzri BAATEN Yaad Aayen

Or Bitay Lamhe TARPAYEN

Mat TANHA TANHA Ghabrana

ZEHAR Kha K Mar Jana.....


BEST 3 COMEDY LINES IN Student LIFE..


1)plzzz..Don't disturb i want 2 study!

2)No class,den lets go 2 library!

&

d Best 1 is-

3)Sir,i hv a question! :-)...


Ek 'POLICE INSPECTER' apni GRL FRND ko "POLICE JEEP" me btha k khin LE ja rha tha lekn wo GAARI bht SLOW chala rha tha,

GRL FRND: JAAN itni aahista GAARI q chla rhe ho?
Hmse to 'CYCLE' wale b bht TEZ ja rhe hn or hmari 'GAARI' peeche hi peeche he.

INSPCTR: ye "POLCE JEEP" he ise PEECHA krne ki AADT he...


hahahaha
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hahahaha
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.hahahaha
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.pagal ho jo hansty ja rahy ho...


Teacher:what is mean of ur father's nameStudent: beautiful red underwearTeacher:whats u saying whats ur father nameStudent:my father name is Sundar Lal Chadi...


Package Wale So Gaye Kar K Baat Apni Ma'shooq K Saath..!

Aur Bhataktey Rahe Sachi Mohabbat Karne Wale Sari Raat..!!...


Judge: chor se tume 4 admiyon ne chori karte hoe dheka hai phir b tum kyon inkar kr rahe ho.

Chor: main aap ko aese 400 aadmi dheka deta hun jinhon ne muje chori karte nhe dheka . . . . ...




Maths and women are the two most complicated things in the world....
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But maths at least has logic ! :-)...


Arz kiya hai:
Dar Dar Phirte Hain Gham-e-ishq k maare,
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Dar dar phirte hain Gham-e-ishq k maare,
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Laado k Lashkaare, Jag mag kapre saare .. !!

...


Once An Ant Decided To Jump

From A Helicopter

But She Did Not Die

Can U Guess Why ???













Coz The Helicopter Was On The Ground!...


Teacher student say: Motorcycle k kitnay tyres hotay hain
student: 6 tyres

teacher: angrily how?
Student: 4 motor k aur 2 cycle k...


03 arab
21 crore
57 lakh
79 thousand
34 hundred
2 only.

Ye mera bank blance
nhi he to kya hua, mera mobile number to hena....


NAFSYAT ki class main profesor ne chuhe k samne chuhiya or Gandum ka dana rakha Chuha daney ki tarf gya Profesor ne makai ka dana rakha Chuhe ne is martaba bhi chuhiya pr dhyan na dya Profesor bola, dekha, bhook main zyada taqat hy. Pichli bench se awaz ayi Sir ek dafa chuhiya b badal kr dekhen... =P ;->...


DiS iZ TotAlLY WrOng. . .

"Kuttay kI dUm 100 sal Tak Terhi hI Rehti Hai"

.

KutTaY Ki To Age Hi 25 Se 30 saAL Hoti hAi....


Mom: Where are you off to now?
Son: I am gonna join the army.
Mom:But legally you are only an infant.
Son: That is all right, I am going to join the infantry.

...


FuNnY bUt TrUe


A Celebrity Is Someone Who Works Hard
All His Life To Become Known
& Then Wears Dark Glasses
To Avoid Being Recognised. " ...


peer-... Beta koi mannat mango!

Mureed... Plz mujhy phir se UNMARRIED kar Dain,



Peer.... Beta Mannat Manngo 'JANNAT'na Manngo


GhArEyLo TooTky

AgAr Apko KuttA kAt Ly to Ap usy kAt LeiN
HisAb BArAbEr

Dudh Phut jA


If u knock at de door of others u never no whether u'll b welcomed or nt.

But if u knock at ur frend,he'll certainly welcome u n

say

"Bol bhikari kya chahye"...


Dunya Gol hy?

Chuha Billi se darta hy,
Bili kutty se darti hy,
Kutta Bandy se darta hy,
Banda Biwi se darta hy,
Biwi chuhy se darti hy.,

Dunya gol hy ;->...


Teri Khamoshi Or Udasi Ki Wajah Hum Samajh Na Sakey ,



FARAZ



Wo To Sham Me Apki Ammi Ne Bataya K
Aaj Apki Pitai Hoi Hai...:-D ...


Ameer ki biwi or ghareeb ki biwi mai kia farq hota hai?


Ameer ki biwi apne husband se: Mjhe nai pata mjhe shopping pe le k jayn,muje nai pta mjhe beauty parlour le k jayn,
aj dinner 5 star hotel me karenge



Ghareeb ki biwi apne husbnd se: muje nai pta meri behan k 4 bache hain mery sirf 2 q hain.? ;-...


Ek admi dozakh se nikla aur chup ker jannat me cahla gaya.

Frishton ne pakarna chaha to

Cheekh ker bola

Koi paas na aaye warna
Khudkush dhamaka kardun ga ;->

...


Baap ne betay se kaha : 'dekho ye aaj tumhari teacher ki taraf se mujhe 1 letter mila he....'

Beta : 'aap bay-fikar rahen, mein ammi ko nahi bataon ga....


Teacher: DELHI may kutubminaar hai..

a student was sleeping..

Teacher wakes him up & asks: "wht did i say"?

Student: "DELHi mey KUtta bimaR hai" :-) ;-)...


1 admi ne anda fry kiya to woh
jal gaya..
Murghi ne dekh liya..
Murghi ne admi ko mun par zor se thapr mrty hue
kaha:
"Tenu deyna pavy tay lg pata javy"....


Diff. B/W TRUTH & LIE:
Truth Is A Debit Card;
Pay 1st & Enjoy Later.
Lie Is A Credit Card Enjoy 1st;
& Pay Later Wid Markup..." ;->
...


MaaLik Makan: Is room ka kraya 500 rupay hai.

Kiraye dar:Lekin yaha to har taraf chuay naach rahay hai.

Malik Makan: To 500 mai kya Aishwarya naachay gi.. ;->...


1st Frnd:yar wo najoomi to bra pohncha hoa nikla

us ne asad se kaha tha k us ki zindagi mein bray utaar cherhao ayein ge

or waqaee wo lift operator bn gya he
...


2 Choohay drakht p bethay the neechay se aik hathi guzra
aik chooha hathi p ja gira
dosra chooha bola

"daba de salay ko me bhi aara hoon"
...


Larkian aik dosray ko gift krti hain.

Beautiful flowers,
perfumes,
neckleses,
teady bears,
purses,
rings
or bangles etc

laiken larky aik dosry ko kia dety hyn,





Guess kar0.




Aby, ye lay bachi ka number,to b kia yad krega,kis jiger sE dosti ki ha:-P...


Maa: Beta Kya Kar Rahe Ho?

Beta: Padh Rha Hu.

Maa: Shabash! Kya Padh
Rahe Ho?

Beta: Ji,

Film Shole Ki Story...


Chaae Chahiye,


Kon Si FARAZ..


Lipton He To Hai,


Huunmm Lajawab...!

Go0d M0rning FARAzzzzzz. :->...


Washing Powder Nirma
Wshng Pwdr Nirma
Dudh Si Safedi
Nirma Se Aye

Rangen Kpda Bhi Khil-Khil Jaye
Sabki Pasand Nirma

Ye Comercial BREAK Ta,
U Continue Ur Work

...


"~"LOVE"~"
Starts frm Eyes,

Grows with gifts,

Ends with tears

but 2day

''love"

Starts frm mobiles,

Grows wd balance share,

Ends wd
number buZy. ;->...


Behind Every FAIL Student There Is A HOT Girlfriend
And
What About TOPPERS?

A HOT Madam Jiski Wajah Se
Kaminay Sari Classes Attend Krte Hain. :-> ...


Kaise ho? maze me? tabiyat kasei? ungli me dard nahi na? aankh bhi ok? dimag thikane? Kaamal ha yar fir to SMS kar sakte ho!



...


Aslamoalaikum!
To All my Frnds
I m here to Announce that my engagement ceremony z gonna be conducted and it will be gr8 Pleasure specially fr me & My Family to Have You there:
1st April

Venue:
Chanab Club, Fsd.

Regards......
AROOSA WASAY




(Note: Year will be decided later-


whAt d|d A rAt sAy tO A cAt??

tHink?

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BillO rAn| kAhO tO aBhi jaAan De DuN?!
...


Post office mei 1 achi job hai.

Rs 25,000 pay milegi.

Kaam sirf ye he k sara din zuban bahar nikal kar bethna hoga.
Log lifafay band karenge... ;->...


Don?t Love Reliance Girl

She Is A 2yrs Warrenty Girl

Don?t Love Hutch Girl

She Follows U Where Ever You Go

So Love Only Landline Girl

She Will Be At Home.

...


BaChay k0 gHar sE baHir bHejtE huey aur kisi k0 miscall marte hUey aiK hi dAr rahta hAi??
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K0i CHUK nA Le...!!...


1 saab Nay Apni Shadi ki movie reveres chala kar daki--Wo Dekna Chata ta K adami "Azad"

Hotay Waqt Kasy Lagta Hay......


Aapke aankh ande jaise,
Aapke kamar like coriander jaise,
Aapka stomach drumb jaisa,
wah wah wah!!!!
kya nose hai tamatar ki tarah,


kyun choowk gaye ab gayi pani mein bhains.........hehe...


Classic Example For
Students Of Different
Age Groups:

1st to 3rd Standard:
...Hey I studied everything
for exam ...

4th to 6th std:
Hey that Question was
very hard so I din't
read tht...

6th to 8th std:
Hey studied only
important questions

8th to 10th std:
Abay 4 chapters is
enufff !!

College:
What ? ? Exam Is
Tomorrow

University:
Oh ! Aaj Exam Hy
Kisi Ne Bataya Hii Nahi ... ...


suba teri ho sham meri hoo
din tera ho raat meri hoo
aur jab mout aay to kabar teri hoo us me lash
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O hello teri hi hoo meri kyun hoo
...


Please Spread It Into Your Friendz Community Tht. . . . .
A 17 Years Old Boy Need
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Balance. . . . .
His Number Is
"0321-5779342"
Please Send Him Balance.
Dnt Ignore It.
And Dnt Change The Number
...


10 things i LIKE abt u
1. U r the special person with a beautiful HEART.
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10.
Aik din k liye aik jhoot kaafi hai na !...


Jis Trha Tu Hotel Me Bartan Manjhta Hy

Puri Puri Raat Sirf MisCall Marta Hy

Jb Tera Balance Khatm Hojata Hy

Suna Hy Balance K lye Road Pe Nanga Nachta Hy ;->...