Collection of Funny SMS Messages

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Latest & New funny SMS messages collection in hindi, urdu & english


whAt is tHe similArity b3tw33n jOdhA AkbAr anD deepikA pAdukOne?
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dOnO Achchee HeiN bUt thOdee lAmbi hAiN???..
??;->
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paani peetaa hoon pipe se Apple khataan hoon knife se Apni bhi kya life hain yaaron Jooten khataa hoon apni wife se!!!


Tere chehrey pe udaasi,
Ankhon me nami hy,
Tere chere pe
udaasi,
Ankon me
nami hy,





National Namak Estamal kr
Bachy
tujh me
Iodine ki kami hai......


Student : "Yaar! Dhokha Ho Gaya"

Dost:"Kya Hua?"

Student: "Maine Ghar Se Books Ke Liye Paise Mangwaye The,

Unhone Books Hi Bhej Di..!!!...


T h e
S u n l i g h t
O f
L O V E
W i l l
K i l l
A l l
T h e
G e r m s
O f
J e a l o u s y
A n d
H a t e ... !! :)
...


Ishq main fanni kharabi...........Munqata hi ho geya saab silsila
Is tarha toota hai un se wasta....jis tarha T.V main toote rabta

...


Chalo Faraz ab yahan se khisko . . . . . . . kion k dil mein mere hai DARD-e-DISCO


.ADMI(DHOBI SE): TUM ITNE BURAY KAPDAY DHOTAY HO. 1 KAPDAY KO PHAAD KAR 2 KR LATAY HO!


DHOBI: JANAB MERI SHARAFAT BHI TO DEKHYE. AAP SE PAYSAY TO SIRF 1 HI KAPDAY KI DHULAI K LETA HON...;)...


Sardar going with his sister, Some shouts "Oye, ,mashoka le ker kahan nikle" Sardar gets furious & slap him & says" Oye. mashoka hogi tero. Meri to behan hai"!

...


If some1 asks me wat is humanity,

I wud sit next to u,

Pull you close to me,

Put my arms around u,

and say proudly,








LOVING ANIMALS
That's humanity:...


Marez doctor se:
Me 1 month se roz Rs.50 ki dawa le rha hu pr koi faida nh hua.
Doctor:Koi bat nh kal se me tmhy Rs.40 ki dawa duga Rs.10 ka faida hoga ;->...


Profesor: Wat is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?

Studnt: jimbalakadi bambalu

Profesor: Wat? Sorry, I didnt understand u?

Student: Same here sir! ;-)...


Message Neechay hai......





Message Neechay hai......






Message Neechay hai......






Message Neechay hai......







Message Neechay hai......






Message Neechay hai......










Mujhay nahi maloom tha k aik message k liye tum itna gir jao gay.






...


Boy. Purpose a girl: i love u, and i want to marry with u
girl:
bhai urdu wich bolo, main unparh hon
boy: kuch nahi baji pakistan jeet gaya


Apni pasand ka
number choose karen
20, 30, 40, 50,
60, 70, 80, 90, 100











Aur
Utna Balance Mere
Num Pe snd kry, ma ap ko bataoga k balnce aya ya nae?...


Once Rakhi Sawant Goes To LIC Office.

Rakhi Mujhe Apni Body Ka Insurance Karna Hai.

Officer- Sorry Madam Hum

Public Property Per Insurance Nahi Karte.
...


Kids Born After 2009

Mom, May I See My Photo-Albums

Of That Time When I Was A Kid??
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Mom : Yeah Sure, Let Me Login To Facebook... :D ...


Whats The Diff Between Gandhi, Musharraf & Lalu? Gandhi-Didnt Know Whats Lie Musharraf Doesnt Know Whats Truth & Lalu Doesnt Know The Difference


"Lucknow" mai 2 bachay apas mai lar rahe thy..
1st ne 2nd se kaha: dekhiye janab! Agar ap hmari bat nahi manengay to hum ap ki walida muhtarma ki shan mai gustakhana kalimat pesh karengy.

2nd: to hum ap k rukhsar mubarak pe aesa tamancha bja laengy k gaal gulab ki patti ki tarha chamaknay lagega....


1 sheikh ne apni new car ofice k bahir roki,

abi usny drwaza khola tha k 1 truck ne tkr mari 0r drwaza durr ja gira.

sheikh:
'O meri nawi gadi da buwa tut gya'

Police ne kaha k apni gari k afsos mai apk0 ye b nai pta k apka left hand b gayab hy

sheikh shouted:
'O loko meri Rado di kari v gayi'.:-)


What is the diffrence b/w
1. Call Girl
2. Girlfriend
3. Wife




(Answers)
1. Prepaid
2. Postpaid
3. Free & Unlimited....


Rona tay onna di aadat see ,
asi aiweain dil noo laa bethay..,

O nack poonjh k chalay gaye ,
asi nawan Rumaal
ganwa bethay....


Khat likh raha hoon khoon se,
Siahi mat sanajhna.
Khat likh raha hoon khoon se,
Siahi mat samajhna.
Kisi mariz ka SAMPLE liya tha
Mera mat samajhna.


...


Principal: Y R U LATE?

Ur Classmates Came

2gether On Time.

Student: Sir,

Sheeps Always

Come Together.

But Lion Always Comes ALONE...


Mom Always Said:
' Money Doesn't Grow On Trees...'
Kid:
Mom Money Is Made From Paper &
Paper Comes
From Trees.
Therefore Your Argument Is
Invalid. . . :p :D


Lo G
Arz kia hai


Main aik bus wich beh gaya


Wah wah wah
Wah


Main aik bus wich beh gaya
Wah wah wah


Mera Stop aya te main leh gya:-)...


husband and wife were fighting:
Husband:Tu sali kuti.
Wife:Tu sala kuta.
Their san who was nearby politely said aur main sala pupy.
hahhaa...


K0i larki hmain thukra dy to ghum nhi!
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Wah wah!
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Koi larki hmain thukra dy to ghum nhi!
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D0ob maray wo kamini jiski kismat me hum nahi:-D=)

wah wah wah taaliaaaan......


Is qadar toot k chaha hai k hisab nhi,




280+256741 x 4726/ 95670 - 87135 +753 x 7435 / 542692 -85674+562 x [632+5(6+86)+ 56 khud he hisab krlo.
;->...


Banking Sector Is
Very Much Similar
To Public Toilet

Reason:
...
People Outside Are
Desperate To Come In

And

People Inside Are
Dying To Come Out ... ;) ...


Lala barhapay se bachnay ka asan tareeqa bata raha hun kisi ko btana mat.
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kAbi kAbi din k wAqt so jAyA kAro khAs tor pe driving kArte wAqt......


PYRA DOST!
FILM MEIN KAM KARO GAY?
ROLL SIRF ITNA HAI
K
1LARKI AP KO 1 BAND GHAR ME LAY JAY GI OR AP KO GOLI MAR DAYGI
FILM KA NAM HE KUTTE KI MOUT!
...


Bacha school se akar ammi say bola:
ammi aj main school ground main shahid afridi lag raha tha

Ammi khush hokar:
woh kese mere chand?

Bacha: kal ka homework na karne par teacher ne kaha jao beech ground main or dono hath upar kar k khare hojao.

'(',')/'
|| HAN
_/ _ AESE...


DATE Per janay k liye, pan wale se DING DONG kya mangi faraz,



woh bola


'karte hain jo kam wrong,
un k liye nahi hai ding dong!...


Aj us ne b hum ko ajnabi kah diya faraz...... jo kahti thee, KUNDI NA KHARKA SOHNIYA SIDDHA ANDAR AA..HHAHHA


Boy:Suit bara acha pehna hai
Girl:Thanx
B:lipstik bohot achi lagai hai
G:Thanx
B:make up b bohot acha kiya hai
G:Thanx"bhai"
Boy: phir b achi nahi lag rahi ho....


Girl: panditji mere 2 boy friend hain
un dono mein kis k sath shadi hogi? Wo khushnasib kon hoga?

Pandit: pehle se shadi hogi aur dusra khush nasib hoga...


Woh mujhse mere pyar ka hisaab chahti hai...
Faraz
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Jis ki khud matric mein hisaab ki supply thi...!!!...


Teacher student se: Mamooli ko jumle me istemaal karo.

Student ne socha

socha



socha

socha
Socha aur bola,Meri Maa Mooli bare shok se khati hai....


Himesh Bhai Ne Shaadi Ki Aur 3
Saal Tak Koi Bachha Nahi Hua
Pucho Kyon
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Arre Bhaiyya Unhe Koi Samjhaye Ki

Har Kaam Topi Pehan Ke Nahi Kiye Jaate!!

...


Zindagi bhar jisay chahta raha

"Faraz"


Aaj uska baita bola

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Abbu aap mujhay school chor do na



Moral:
Har aashiq mamu nai banta.;-):-)...


Muhabat Ho Jaye

Ya


Machar Kaaten

Anjam 1 Hi Hy.






What?








Rat Ko Neend Nahin Aati...

...


Ye Sun k to Dimagh hi Ghom gya 'Fayaz'

Jb Mai ny Apni Dadi ko kaha Dadi koi purana gana hi suna dain...
To wo Bolin:
Smack That
All on the Floor
Smack That...!...


Science Teacher:Agar kisi ladki ko mirgi ka attack ho to use lambe time tak kiss karo isse wo thik ho jayegi. STudenT:par sir use attack kaise dilaya jaye.? ;->...


Hum Guzrey Unn Ki Gali Sey Ajab Itfaaq Thaa.
Unhoon Ne Phool Phenka Gamla B saath Thaa..<:)...


*JOKE*
Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.
"Why did the boss fire you? the friend asked in surprise.
"Oh," Peter said, "You know how bosses are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work."
"We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?"
"Jealousy," answered Pete. "All the other workers thought I was the boss."...


Chaka le "Ganaa "

BCZ UR MIND" BLOWING GUY"

"MEHBOOBA MEHBOOBA" MAT SING WARNA PADGI PEECHE "DARLING"

bcz hum hai sms walli
"HEYY BABY"...


Aj Ka Ehem SawalLarki Phasana Mushkil kam h YaPhasi hwe larki se jan Chhurana..??;-)


Story:-
Aik din wo hm se milnay aye hm so rhay thay.

Aglay din hm un se milnay gye wo so rhay thay.

Moral:-
Jaisa karo gay waisa bharo gye....


MoNA:Aunty Aunty,Shani UncLe Ny Jo Singapoor Wali Ghri Mughay De Thi Wo Nadi Mein Gir Gai Magr Phr Bhi Chal Rahi Hy,
Aunty:Kya? Ghari...!!
Mona:Nai Aunty..!!
Nadi.....


Ek swimmer to his frnd: ma pani ke andr ek ghanty tk rh skata hun,kia tum aisa kr skte ho?
Frnd: ma boht din pani k andr rh skta hun
swimer:wo kaise?
Frnd:kyun k mujy swimming nhi ati....


Oey kuti ke bachey..

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kitne pyaray hote hain..hain na? ...


Democratic diffrence between USA AND PAKISTAN In USA u can Kiss in a public place but cannot shit. In Pakistan u can shit in a public place but cant kiss!!;-)...


?Jis Ka Kaam Usi Ko Saajhay?

Exapmle>

Hamesh Reshamya In
?AP Ka Surror?

Flop . . . .

Is Film Ka Naam Hona Chahiay Tha,
?AP Ka KasoOR?

...


Socha Yaad Na Karke Thoda Tarpaae Aapko, Kisi Aur Ka Naam Le Ke Jalaae Aaapko, Par Koi Chot Aap Ko Lagi To Dard Hume Hoga, Ab Koi Ye Bataae Ki Kis Tarah Saatae Aaap Ko….


Hight Of Hasrut

Written At The Back Of Suzuki Mehran....

















"Mai Bari Ho K Parado Bano Gi"...


ye keh kr us ne meri ankh me charas dal di Farzan
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Chhano ki ankh mai aik nasha hai FARAZ...-:;D...


1 dulha apnay dost se shadi k din:yar koi aise baat btao jo main apni bewi se jatay he kahon to wo hearan ho jaey.
Dost:Tum Jatay he apni biwi ko talak dy dena!...


Qayamat k din farishton nay sub logon se kaha k sub apne gunah 1 paper per likh do.Sub ne likh liye to achanak aapki awaz aai "XTRA SHEET PLZ"
...


Larki apne tamam boy frends se sim conection k hisab Se!!

Jaz wala b/f. Hello darling.
Larki. Or sunau.

U.f


Jab kutte ki maut aati hai..............

Jab kutte ki maut aati hai..............

Jab kutte ki maut aati hai..............

tab..... tab..... tab.........

KUTTA mar jata hai....


Wo dekho!


Ammi.




Abbu.



Bhaiya.






Baji.








Jaldi AaO.






Amazing...!






Us




Gher






Mein

















Light Hai ;->/...


Aaj k baad mujhe ufone no. Pe sms mat ki jiye ga. AAP Neeche likhe JAZZ k no. Pe msg karna
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Ha ha ha !
No. Dhond rahe ho?
kaisa ullu banaya:->...


Ek Din K 24 'GHANTY'
7 GHANTY" Sone k
9 Kamany k
3 Traveling k
1 Toilet-bath k
2 Khane pine k
2 Bivi bachey k
Aap k liye kiya bacha

" G H A N T A "...


"Beizzati"

Aur

"Bivi"

Ek Jaisi Hoti Hai...

Achchhi Tab Hi Lagti Hai..

Jab Doosre Ki Ho...!!
...


DIL ki Baton me Aana acha lagta hy

MUNDAY ko Le k Date pe jana acha Lagta hy
Shadi se pehle dil ko Bhatay hain Sangeet
Baad me to bas QOMI TARANA acha lagta hy...


if u help a gal when she is in problem
she will always remember u only
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when she is in problem again..!!...


If A Boy Givs A Luv Letter 2 A Girl,

Peple Cal Him ?Lofer?

But If A Girl Givs A Letter 2 A

Boy Dey Cal It ?Offer?

Brought to You By

Ptcl ! Feel The Difference
...


"~"LOVE"~"
Starts frm Eyes,

Grows with gifts,

Ends with tears

but 2day

''love"

Starts frm mobiles,

Grows wd balance share,

Ends wd
number buZy. ;->...


Pappu Arz Karta Hai.

Hote Hain Wohi Log Is Jahan Mein Ache.....





Jo Pehenty Hain Sardiyoon Mein B Kache...=P;->...


"UPGRADE MSG"

A


PIA slogan, A warm experience and motherly treatment!

Warm: Coz AC doesn?t work.

Motherly: Coz all hostesses r above 50
...


musEum mE dO kHopri pari thi.


1st frnd:: ye hitler ki khopri pari hai.

2nd frnd:: oR jo saAth mE choti kHOpai hai wo kis ki Hai??

1st frnd:: jAb hitler chOta tha ye tAb ki hai.

"""Dangerous G@mblr"""

0313-7364884...


TEACHER: students is mazmoon pe essay likho," AGAR MUJHE RS10CRORE MILAY TO ME KYA KARU GA?"

(Sare students mazmoon likhte rahe sivae saleem k...)

TEACHER: SALEEM, sab ladke 2 se 3pages ka mazmoon likh chuke hay aur tum hath pe hath dharay bethay ho!

SALEEM:sir,10 crore milne k baad b me yehi karonga!...


Two question asked to Pakistani Gals in a survey

Q1: Do U believe in sleeping wid a total stranger?
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Ans-Yuck! Never

Q2: Do U believe in arranged marriages?
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Ans-Yes,Of course!

Haha :P
...


Teacher: Itifak ka jumla banao..?
Student:
"jis din meray Papa ki shadi thi..
itifak se usi din meri mama ki $hadi thi..!"...


Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it....


3 Guys Name
What,
Why,
When
Were Talking

What:Why What R U Doing?

Why:I Dont Know What Are You Doing.

What:Why?

Why:Why R U Caling Me? What?

What:Now Why Did U Cal Me?

Why:What! When Did I Cal U?
When:What Is Ur Problem Why R U Callin Me?
Why:What? Did I Cal U? When?
What & When: What
When:Why R U Caling Urself?
Why:Did I Cal Myself, When?
When:What?
What:Why Did U Cal Me? Dont Ask When?
Why & When: What. ;->
Now Forward & Kill Others Brain.. =P ...


Ab shikwa krte ho hum se k humarae lab Q sil gaye?

Mange thi tum se "chap stick" aur tum hamain "elfee" de gaye.. :->...


shaadi k din kareeb aye to maha ko diting ka shaok hova .maa le ayee Sufi
ko.Kyun k sufi per Aitbaar jo tha.Subha hoi to dekha na Maha thi na sufi.

...


Zinda ho to 2 char message bhejo,
Aasman per ho to barish bhejo,
Jannat main ho to hoorain bhejo,
Dozzakh main ho to enjoy urself....


Mai To Apne Mehboob Se
Kuch Na Keh Saka pAppu...



Magar
Tum Zong Le Lo,
Or Sab Keh Do... ;->
...


Light The Fags With The Heat Of The heart,My Bosom Is On Fire!




Zyada Mat Socho Ye..

"Beedi Jalayi Le Jigar Se Piya"ka English Version Ha ;-):->...


Dil ka dard dil todne wale kya jane,

Pyar ke rivazon ko zamana kya jane,

Hoti hai kitni takleef ladki patane mein,

Ye ghar pe baitha ladki ka baap kya jaane....


Woman1:Our area is too dusty, my child is full of mud when he comes after play.
Women2:Thats true! yesterday I washed 20 faces to find my own child!...


Zalaalat aur gaalion ka nishaana sirf MUSHARRAF hi nahi faraz, Suna hai is zamaane mei koi ALTAF bhe he


Aj SMS Ki MARDAM SHUMARI Hy.

Ager Aap MALE Hai To 6 funny SmS Karein

Ager FEMALE Hai To 3 SmS Karein

Aur Ager Khud Per SHAK Hai To SmS Na Karen...
SHUKRIYA.!


"~"LOVE"~"
Starts frm Eyes,

Grows with gifts,

Ends with tears

but 2day

''love"

Starts frm mobiles,

Grows wd balance share,

Ends wd
number buZy. ;->...


Bacha:
mene hathi k samne 12 kaile rakhe usne 11 khaye aik q nhi khaya?

Admi:
hathi ka pait bhr gya hoga.

Bacha:
nhi 12wa kaila plastic ka tha.

Acha dubara mene hahti k samne 12 kaile rakhe to us ne aik b nhi khaya q?

Admi:
saare kaile plastic k honge.

Bacha:
nhi galat. is dafa hathi plastic ka tha...


Microsoft Launches New Software Related To Cricket ?

What It?s Name ? ?
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M S Dhoni ? ;->
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1st Frnd: Fraud Buhat Zayda Ho gAyE Hain,
2nd Frnd: wO Kyun?
1st fRND:KaL DepartmentAL StOre pEr gYa tO Ek Orat Ne Mujhay dEkH kR Kaha k tUmhAri sHaKL MerAy MarhoOm bEtAy sE Buhat MiLti Hai,tUm sTore sE Bahir jAo Or Zor sE mujHay Ek bAar Mami kAh dO,
Is tArah Meri Mamta Ko sAkoOn MiLay gA,
2nd fRnd: PhIr?
1st fRnD: Mainay USaY Mami kAha oR JaB DepartmentaL Store mE Enter hUa tO Wo Orat gAib tHi,
Or Cashier Ne Mujhay pAkr Lia kaha k bILL PaY Kro,
Kyun k Un Muhtarma Ne kAha Tha,
K biLL
"MERA Beta Pay kRay gA"
...


Techer :2mrow thr wil b a lectur on Sun Every1 mst attend it.
Kid:No mam I wil not b able 2 attend it

T :Why

Kid:My mother will not allow me to go so farr
...


Mother:: Beta tUm nE chotay bhai ko kursi kyun maari??


Beta:: (hanstay huay) haha mOm kyun k tAbLe mujh se uthai nahi gAi..

????sMs???
!!!!G@mblr!!!!
...


assi pagal tuhadday pichay,,tussi pagal kisi owr de pichay,,,o pagal kisi owr de pichay,,,,Saaray Pagal aggay pichay,,,...


Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bache hee kamine hain,
Jo Mammu-Mammu bulaate hain.
Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tarap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de...


Gul gaya Gulshan gaya aur gaie pholoo ki wadi...
Ab tu mera peecha choroo miane ho gaie bachon wali...
03214133050...


Ek choohay ki hathi se mulaqat hui. Choohay ne itnay baray jaanwar ko pehle nahi dekha tha.
lehaaza choohay ne hathi se pucha: Janab aap ki umr kya hai?

Hathi ne jawab diya: 2 saal

Phir hathi ne choohay se pucha: aap ki umr kya hai?

Choohay ne jawab diya: umr to meri bhi 2 saal hai magar sehat kharab hai?
...


An Engineering Student 2 His Sweeper Brother:
Aj Mere Paas Degre Hy, Knowldge Hy, 4 Logo Me Bethne Ki Izat Hy, Tere Pas Kia Hy?

Sweeper: Mere Pas Naukri Hy ;->...


Wife and Husband r like 2 tires of vehicles, if any 1 punctures, vehicle cannot move furthur so intelligent men always carry a stepny with them....

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