Funny Jokes Collection

I hate when someone asks are

I Hate When Someone Asks: “Are You Sleeping … ???” …No I am Just Looking At My Eyelids …. STUPID … =P =D …

In life wen u r alone

In Life Wen U R Alone When U R Crying Wen U R Upset Wen U R Sad Jus Make A Call 2Me Bcoz

Manager whts ur father name employee

Manager: wHt’s uR Father nAme? EmpLoyeE: "BijLI Deen" Manager: TOo stRanger Name!! EmplOyee: pEhLay tO UnKa naAM "Chirag dEen" ThA.. Lekin jAb sE sCiENce

In an accounting class instructor was talking

In an accounting class, instructor was talking about budgets. Teacher: "What is a budget?" Little Johnny: "An orderly system for living beyond your means".

After digging to a depth of 100

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to

Fact a lot of fellows

Fact … A Lot Of Fellows Now A Dayz Have B . A, B . B . A, M . B . A, B

A popular motivational

A Popular Motivational

Attitude of youth we are

Attitude of Youth 🙂 “We are mOre brilliant than Einstein and Newton.. . . . . It’s just they didn’t leave anything for us

Heart t0uchng st0ry a b0y l0ved

HEART T0UCH!NG ST0RY A b0y l0ved a girl but never pr0p0sed her. 0ne day he decided t0 tell her at 1:00 am at night.

Dear customer u r requested 2 switch

Dear customer! u r requested 2 switch off ur mobile as the sender of this message . . . . . . . .

Buhot ache wah kya baat hai

Buhot Ache Wah Kya Baat Hai Buhot Aala Gr8 Yaar Zabardast Daad Deni Paregi Brilliant Dil Khush Kardiya La Jawab Khubsoorat Bari Himmat Hai

A very rich man went to a

A very rich man went to a village with his son to show him HOW POOR PEOPLE can be lived..? On return Father asked

Top answers of teachers if they

Top Answers Of Teachers If They Don’t Know The Answers: 1)I Think The Question Is Wrong.. 2)I Will Tell You Tomorrow.. 3)Don’t Ask Foolish

I was worried in a dream

I was worried in a DREAM last nite i saw all the DEVILS of the world have DIED Hey!dont mind Can u send me

Signboard outside a repair shop

Signboard Outside A Repair Shop … "We Can Repair Anything … (PLZ ! Knock Hard On The Door … The Bell Doesn’t Work )

Two humans ascended a certain geological protuberance

Two humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect a hydride of oxygen whose quantity isn’t specified… One member descends dramatically suffering mechanical damage

3 friends lived in the same flat

3 friends lived in the same flat on the 110th floor. One day the lift wasn’t working. So they had to climb the stairs.

U think of me amp i u

U think of me & i think of u. When v both think of each other, do u know wat it means? It means

Jhoom re ek sahab nashay me larkhratay

?JHOOM RE? Ek sahab nAshay me LarkhratAY hUay fOOT paTH per JA rahay thay..! Pol?CemAn nE Roka oR poocha:Tum Jantay hO mA?N Kon hoON?

I know u r too much daring

I Know U R Too Much Daring Person And Like To Dare To Any Game. I Have A Special Dare 4 U. Can You

Bush asks godwhen will iraq be mine

Bush asks God:When will Iraq be mine? God:Not in ur life time.bush cries. Mushraf asks God:When will Kashmir be in Pakistan? God:Not in ur

The thing which is never complete called

The Thing Which Is Never Complete, Called… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Syllabus!! …

Doctor youre in good health youll live

Doctor: Youre in good health. Youll live to be eighty. Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, what did I tell

A touching love stry a boy

A touching love stry a boy n a grl lv each other vry mch.. One day wile they were talking, the boy touched d

A guys walking down the street and

A guy’s walking down the street and sees Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, “Kid, you’re too young to smoke.” Johnny looks up and

Galilo great mind einstein genious newton

GALILO: Great mind EINSTEIN: Genious mind NEWTON: Extraordinary mind BILL GATES: Brillant mind Me: Master mind U: Oh! Neve mind…

Nxt generation child wil sing in school

Nxt generation child wil sing in school Twinkle twinkle little star, I jus went 2 royal bar, Whisky rates r up so high, So

A thought for all graduates quota

A Thought For All Graduates… "A Thermometer Isn’t The Only Thing That Gets A Degree Without Having Any Brain…" |’!’|…

One day a man spotted an old

One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a

In an engineering university during a maths

In an engineering university during a math’s class: Student: Why do we have to learn this? Teacher: To save lives!!!!! Student: How does math

todayz thought always

|~ tODAYz thOUgHT ~| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Always dn’t

What is wrong with your cell every

what is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey plz contact zoo

Every man needs a beautiful wife intelligent

Every Man Needs A Beautiful Wife Intelligent Wife Caring Wife Loving Wife Smart Wife Adjusting & Cooperative Wife, But its said dat Islam allows

Boss beware of 50 50 90 rule employee what

Boss: “Beware of 50-50-90 rule!” Employee: “What do you mean Sir?” Boss: “Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is

Cat how old ru elephant 5

CAT: how old ru? ELEPHANT: 5 years CAT: but u look big? ELEPHANT: I’m a complan boy CAT: I’m 30 yrs old. ELEPHANT: 30?

Height of unreasonable demand 2

Height Of Unreasonable Demand ?? 2 Negroes Wearing Black Suit Standing Infront F A White Wall N Asking 4 a Color Phtograph..!!…

Having 1 child makes you a parent

Having 1 child makes you a parent but having 2 makes you a refree. Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always

Wife wherell u take me on our

Wife: where’ll u take me on our 10th aniversary? Hsband: We’ll go 2 African jungle safari. Wife: Nice. And on our 25th aniversary? Husband:

Life before computer window was a

life before computer – – – Window was a square hole in a room Application was somethong written in paper Mouse was an animal

A smile to put you on high

A sMiLe tO pUt You On HiGh… A KisS To Set YoUr SouL ALriGhT… WouLd iT bE aLriGhT iF I spEnT ToNiTe BeiNg LovED

Waiter and how did you find

Waiter : And how did you find your steak sir? Man : Well, quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was!!!…

The w0rlds thinnest b00k is titled by

The w0rld?s thinnest b00k is titled by, ?What W0men Want? It has 0nly 0ne w0rd written in it, . . . . . .

Bush asks godwhen will iraq be mine

Bush asks God:When will Iraq be mine? God:Not in ur life time.bush cries. Mushraf asks God:When will Kashmir be in Pakistan? God:Not in ur

I saw your face as you walked

I saw your face as you walked by but then I saw a better guy …

Psychiatrists receptionist comes sayz theres man

PsyChIatrIst’s rEceptionist cOmEs & sAyZ theRe’s mAn oUt WHo sAyS He cAn mAke hImSELf “INVISIBLE” Psychiatrist:”Te|L Him I cAn’t c hIm rIght now.”…

Facebook paper q1 define add

FACEBOOK PAPER Q1 . Define add as friend ? Q2 . What does status means ? … Q3 . What do u mean by

God made man and then rested women

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested …

Ek don ka beta oral exam me

ek don ka beta ORAL EXAM me fail ho gaya, ghar aakar wo apne dad se bola- sun baap , un logo ne 3

Ocean full of syllabus river questions

Ocean full of syllabus River full of questions Bucket level we study Mug level we answer & Marks comes like a drop then why

Apne chare se ruswaie ka ampquoterrorampquot to

Apne chare se ruswaie ka "ERROR" to hataho, Ab bohat ho gaya apne dil ka "PASSWORD" to bataho, Axser raat ko app mere sapne

If time doesnt wait 4 u

If time doesn’t wait 4 u Don’t worry! Just remove the damn battery from ur clock & Enjoy life!…

Its a fact girl may

It’s A Fact. . . . Girl May Not Help U To Get A Lot Of Salary. But Salary May Help U To Get


wen a guy tellz u that he luvz u from the bottom of his heart b careful 4 this may mean dat…….!!!!!!…….. he has

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don’t worry I don’t cry, I’m just happy that cows can’t fly!

In a bar man attend da call

In a bar, a man attend da call of a ringing mobile. Man: Hello! Wife: Darling shall I buy 1 diamond ring? Man: Sure

A woman met a man walking along

A woman met a man Walking along the streets Wearing only one shoe. “Just Lost A Shoe?” She asked He answered: “Nope, Just Found

G ghost i in r real

G – Ghost I – In R – Real L – Life So Avoid Girls & Forward Their Numbers To Me… Don’t Worry Abt

Dear lays manufacturer u forgot to mention

Dear lays manufacturer U forgot to mention one more thing in the list of ur ingredients. . . . . . . Air 85%

What is the difference btw secretary and

what is the difference btw secretary and personal secretary…. Secretary says: Good morning sir! Personal Secretary Says: Oh MY GOD… its morning Sir…….

If we were born kn0wing everything

If We WeRe BoRn Kn0wInG eVeRyThInG tHeN …wHaT w0uLd We Do WiTh AlL tHe TiMe 0n ThIs PlAnEt Be Pr0uD t0 sAy “I DON’T

Lecturer quotchildren in the dark make mistakesquot

Lecturer: "Children in the dark make mistakes..!" convert dis sentence to its opposite form… Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children..!" ….. ;->…

The new england journal of medicine reports

The New England Journal Of Medicine Reports That… ! ” 9 Out Of 10 Doctors Agree That 1 Out Of 10 Doctors Is An

Universal truth we learnt sun rises in

Universal TRUTH we learnt “sun rises in the east” Fact:- “sun neither rises nor sets, only earth rotates” Moral “Education spoils our commonsense”…

I am looking for a bank which

I am Looking for a Bank which can perform Two things for me. Give me a Loan, & then Leave me aLone…!: 🙂 :-P…

A beggar found rs 100

A Beggar Found Rs. 100/- . .. … He Went To A 5 Star Hotel For Dinner… . .. … Bill Rs. 3000/- .

A why are you late b there

A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That’s nice. Were you helping him look

I know a lot about cars

I Know A Lot About Cars … I Can Look At A Car’s Headlights And Tell You Exactly Which Way It’s Coming… ;->…

Fact of google 50 the

FACT of GOOGLE: . . 50% of the people use it well as a search engine..!! .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Ppl say a kiss is on

Ppl Say A Kiss Is On HEAD A Sweet Kiss On CHEEKS A Passionate Kiss On LIPS A Romantic Kiss On NECK But Seriously

Love is not how long uve been

LovE is Not HoW LonG U’ve BeeN 2gEthEr; nOt HoW MucH U’ve GIvEn oR RecEivE; Not hOw MaNy TimEs U’ve HeLpEd EaCh OthEr —

Announcement in university the students who

Announcement in University: “The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them” Anothr anouncement after 20 minutes: “The 200 students

True love is like a pillow u

True Love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in

I want to share everything with u

I want to share everything with u. Your sadness ,your happy momments, Lets start with your bank account! …

If your a vegetarian to be nice

If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food …

Karachi me banks me barhti hui robbries

KARACHI mE banks me barhti hui robbries pr control k Liay MAIN bank me aLARM System laga dia,jiska button cashier k paon k kareb

Exams are like girlfriends 1 too

EXAMS are like GIRLFRIENDS: 1. Too many questions. 2. Difficult to understand. 3. Too much explaination is needed. 4. Result is always Fail …

Men opause men strual pain men tal illness guy necologist his terectomy

MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN?? …

Height of over confidence a g i

HeIgHT Of ovEr coNfiDeNce, A G I R L S A Y z W i d A l o t O F M a

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read

Winter comes again ampamp again summer

Winter Comes ………Again & Again, Summer Comes …….Again & Again, But The Person Like You………….. Will Not Come Again, Because GOD Never Makes The

Some funny signboards pizza

Some Funny Signboards … @ Pizza Shop “7 Dayz Widout Pizza Makes 1 Weak” In No-smoking Area “If V c Smoke, V’ll Azume U

Bush asks godwhen will iraq be mine

Bush asks God:When will Iraq be mine? God:Not in ur life time.bush cries. Mushraf asks God:When will Kashmir be in Pakistan? God:Not in ur

Teacher mehnat karo ga tou kuch

Teacher Mehnat Karo Ga Tou Kuch Bano Ga . Pathan Student Teacher Hamra Gadha Tou Itni Mehnat Karta Hai Magr Wo Kuch Nahe Bana

Definition of laziness itz

Definition Of Laziness :- -:- iT’z A tElEnT oF tAlKiNg ReSt BeFoRe YoU gEt TiRed -:-…

A young boss said quotthe great

A young Boss said "the great attraction in our job is that every day is a pay day "…

How much secrets are hidden on a

How Much SECRETS are Hidden On A Cell Phone is Directly Proportional To . . . . . . . . . . .

1st man which is the best month

1st Man: Which Is The Best Month To Get Married..? 2nd Man: Octemb ruary.. 1st Man: Don’t Be Silly, There Is No Such Month

Definition of a great loser a

Definition of “A great loser”: A person who dials a number (written with lipstick on a phone booth) and… . . . His wife

A gorgeous girl walks up 2 professors

A Gorgeous Girl Walks up 2 Professor?s Cabin & Says: I’ll Do Anything 2 Pass D Exam. Prof: Anything? Girl: Ya Prof? Girl: Ya!!

Lady is this my train station master

Lady: Is this my train..? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.. Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask

I dont get the saying if

I Don’t Get The Saying “If You Snooze, You Lose.” I Hit The Snooze Button 8 Times This Morning, …And I Woke Up Feeling

1 fine morning in the middle of

1 fine morning in the middle of the night, 2 dead boys woke up to fight, Back to back they faced each other, Took

Janx can i have a picture of

JAn|x Can i Have a PicTure of Urs? . . . AcTuaLLy, The Thing is ThaT i have sTarTed a new hobby of coLLecTing

She blinded me with her light its

She BlinDeD mE wiTh hEr LigHT, it’S SucH A beaUtiFuL SigHt… The WaY She MoVes Is LiKe An AngEl… ShE gOt Me WaLkiNg On

Good lucks catch the eyes and a

good lucks catch the eyes and a good personality catches the heart and you are blessed with both. FLATTERED? dont b, it was sent

R u intelegent ans thez 1 china kis

R u intelegent.. Ans thez 1-China kis mulk main hai? 2-14Aug kis date ko ati hai.? 3-Green rung kis colour ka hota hai..? 4-timatar

When sum1 takes ur cell for hours

When sum1 Takes ur cell for Hours & you are in no Hurry to Get it Back . . . Then . . .

Never trust a mn who says he

Never trust a m@n who says he is the boss at home.He probably lies abt other things too…

classic boy is your body

~*~ CLASSIC ~*~ Boy: Is Your Body From McDonald . . . ? …Girl: Why, Because You’re Loving It . . . ? 😉