Funny Jokes Collection

Boy my ex girlfriends status on facebook says

Boy: My Ex-Girlfriend’s Status On Facebook Says: “Standing On The Edge If A Bridge…” Friend: So What Did You Comment? Boy: Nothing, I Just

Life before computer window was a

life before computer – – – Window was a square hole in a room Application was somethong written in paper Mouse was an animal

A memon had an accident in

A Memon Had An Accident In His New BMW When Cops Arrived, Memon Cried …”Officer My Brand New Car ! ! ” Cops Says:

An idea can change your life but

An Idea Can Change Your Life But, A Woman can change your IDEA.. So, Always change Women to change Ideas WHAT AN IDEA SIR

This is how a week goes

This is how a week goes: . . Mooooooooooooooooonday…….. . Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuesday……… . Weeeeeeeeeeeeednesday………. . Thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuursday………. . Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiday……….. . . . saturdaysunday… =P ;->…

Boy im searching for the most beautiful

Boy: I’m searching for the most beautiful girl..!! Girl: Look I came for you..!! Boy: That’s nice! Now help me to find her..!…

Bartender i think uve had enuf sir

Bartender: I Think U’ve Had Enuf Sir ! Drunk: I Just Lost My Wife, Buddy ! Bartender: Well, It Must Be Hard Losing A

Gals have two major problems with their

Gals have two major problems with their wardrobe: 1. Nothing to wear & 2. No place to keep her clothes. . . . .

Dear computer users i do appreciate

Dear Computer Users, I do appreciate your kind attitude towards the other keys of keyboard! But why do you press all the keys softly

Boy1you are late boy2i had to toss

Boy1:You are late!. Boy2:I had to toss a coin to decide going to church and coming to the game. Boy1:So long? Boy2:I had to

Jhoom re ek sahab nashay me larkhratay

?JHOOM RE? Ek sahab nAshay me LarkhratAY hUay fOOT paTH per JA rahay thay..! Pol?CemAn nE Roka oR poocha:Tum Jantay hO mA?N Kon hoON?

Dear god give me the wisdom

Dear God, Give Me The Wisdom To Understand My Boss.. .. Give Me The Love To Forgive Him.. .. Give Me The Patience To

Two humans ascended a certain geological protuberance

Two humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect a hydride of oxygen whose quantity isn’t specified… One member descends dramatically suffering mechanical damage

Two friends billooo amp tillooo went to

Two friends Billooo & Tillooo went to school for appearing in English exam (7th standard). They had crammed an essay of "MY BEST FRIEND".

A touching story 1 day

A Touching Story… ! ! ! 1 day the mosquito got excited & gave a love bite to the dog The dog became emotional

She blinded me with her light its

She BlinDeD mE wiTh hEr LigHT, it’S SucH A beaUtiFuL SigHt… The WaY She MoVes Is LiKe An AngEl… ShE gOt Me WaLkiNg On

There are 20 types of facebookers

There Are 20 Types Of Facebookers: 1. Over Photo Editors 2. Extremely Frequent Status Updaters 3. Page Likers 4. Attention Seekers …5. Wall Posters

If u need advice sms me

if u need ADVICE SMS ME if u need a FRIEND CALL ME if u need HELP E-MAIL ME if u need MONEY The

9 advices to youth 1 never

9 Advices To Youth: 1> Never Love A Girl/Boy Truly …2> Never Lie To Parents 3> Never Be Rude To Anyone. 4> Always Say

Personality test select one of following

Personality Test select one of following 1-2-3-4-5 Result if you selected 1:- you are monkey 2:- you are donkey 3:- you are fool 4:-

When my parents are asleep me shh

When my parents are asleep Me: “Shh they are sleeping.” When I’m asleep Parents:”Lets vacuum the house for 3 hours.”…

One day a man spotted an old

One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a

Some funny signboards pizza

Some Funny Signboards … @ Pizza Shop “7 Dayz Widout Pizza Makes 1 Weak” In No-smoking Area “If V c Smoke, V’ll Azume U

Morning note arguing with boss is

Morning note : Arguing with Boss is jst like wrestling with a cow in the mud. After sometime u realize that u r getting

What is the difference btw secretary and

what is the difference btw secretary and personal secretary…. Secretary says: Good morning sir! Personal Secretary Says: Oh MY GOD… its morning Sir…….

Corporate lessons we w

Corporate Lessons “We w

Height of begging a sleeping beggar

Height Of Begging!! A sleeping beggar puts up A notice board in front of him: “Please do not make noise By dropping coins Offer

Teacher how can v stop milk from

Teacher: how can v stop milk from getting sour? Johnny: keep it in the cow….!! ;-)…

The worlds largest migration is from

The World’s Largest Migration Is From . . . . . . . . . Orkut To Facebook ! =P =D…

Its a fact girl may

It’s A Fact. . . . Girl May Not Help U To Get A Lot Of Salary. But Salary May Help U To Get

I wont be impressed with technology until

I won’t be impressed with Technology until I can download a Zinger Burger for FREE!! (William Microsoft) tXt _/”_KiLLEr…

Dont do drugs because if you youll

Don’t Do Drugs Because If You Do Drugs You’ll Go To Prison And Drugs Are Really Expensive In Prison……… !! ;->…

In life wen u r alone

In Life Wen U R Alone When U R Crying Wen U R Upset Wen U R Sad Jus Make A Call 2Me Bcoz

All flowers cannot represent the love but

All flowers cannot represent the love but Rose did it All animals cannot speak but parrot did it and all monkeys cannot read sms

Laysolays dear lays chips you

|Lays’O’Lays| Dear Lays Chips , You forgot to include One thing under The Ingredients . . . . . . . . . .

An elderly gentleman was invited by an

An elderly gentleman was invited by an old frnd 4 dinner. He was impressed by the way his buddy talked 2 his wife with

My nights r becoming sleepless days

My Nights r becoming sleepless, My Days r becoming restless, So i asked God … is this love?? He said! …..idiot , summer has

The w0rlds thinnest b00k is titled by

The w0rld?s thinnest b00k is titled by, ?What W0men Want? It has 0nly 0ne w0rd written in it, . . . . . .

I just hate y0u go away why

I just hate y0u! Go away.. Why The Hell You Keep Coming Again And Again… . . . . . . . Monday?! Disturbed

Short course to be a dermatologist if

Short course to be a dermatologist: If it is dry – add moist; if it is moisten – add dryness. Congratulations, now you are

Chubby cheeks dimple chin browny lips tiny

Chubby Cheeks, Dimple Chin, Browny Lips, tiny eyes& Rosy Tongue Actually I ws pointing out d similarities b/w U & vodafone dog. it’s gr8!

What is wrong with your cell every

what is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey plz contact zoo

Announcement in university the students who

Announcement in University: “The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them” Anothr anouncement after 20 minutes: “The 200 students

Limit of love 1 din samandar

Limit of Love. 1 Din Samandar Ne Naddi Se Pocha, Kab Tak Is Tarah Mujhe Pyar Karti Rahogi Naddi Ne Hans kar Kaha Jab

Girls are never wrong just sometimes

Girls Are Never Wrong Just Sometimes Confused , Rude, Stubborn, Senseless, Emotional, Unchangeable , Crazy, Stupid …n Even Mad But NEVER WRONG … =P

When things go wrong ampamp sadness fill

when things go wrong & when sadness fill ur heart & when tears flow frm ur eyes, juz let me noe, coz i wana

3 friends lived in the same flat

3 friends lived in the same flat on the 110th floor. One day the lift wasn’t working. So they had to climb the stairs.

Find the most suotable place 4 this

Find The Most Suotable Place 4 This Note "Come Like Horse.. Sit Like Thief… Go Like King…. " Nahi Pata… ???? Oki I’|| Te||

Tcher while lecturing noticed a studnt sleeping

Tcher while lecturing, noticed a studnt sleeping at th back. Tcher shouts 2 hs neighbor:”Wake him up!” Neighbor yells: U put him 2 sleep,so

Winter comes again ampamp again summer

Winter Comes ………Again & Again, Summer Comes …….Again & Again, But The Person Like You………….. Will Not Come Again, Because GOD Never Makes The

According to a research 87 of young

According to a research 87% of young people have back pain. . . . . . . . . . The other 13% have

Boy 2 girl hey if i

Boy 2 girl : Hey if i climb this coconut tree, i can see Engineering college babes. Girl : Leave both hands from there,

A doctor came to visit the patient

A doctor came to visit the patient in hospital and patient started pleading and crying, “Doc please save me, please save me!”. The patient

U r a donkey d 4

u r a donkey d 4 decent .. o 4 outclass .. n 4 nice .. k 4 kind .. e 4 excelent ..

Wife says to husbandwhat is the difference

Wife says to husband.What is the difference b/w love & ishque.Husband says love means what i do my sister & ishque means what i

Someone has kidnapped the indian cricket team

Someone has kidnapped the Indian cricket team and demanded Rs 50 crore or else he would burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have

tragedies of girls life 1

-=- TRAGEDIES OF GIRLS LIFE -=- 1- Good Boys r Not Good Looking =P … 2- Good Looking Boys r Not Good Boys =D

A lady broke a signal was

A lady broke a signal & was presentd in front of judge LADY: Ur honor plz let me go i am a school teacher

Biwi shohar se aaj ap daftar se

Biwi shohar se: aaj ap daftar se jaldi kese aa gae? Shohr: achanak mere boss ko gusa aa gaya or bola jahanum mein jao,to

If u need original tigers nail

If U Need Original Tigers Nail For Ur Chain Locket Contact Me Immediately Bcos M Cuttin My Nails 2morow. Booking Close Today…

I hate when someone asks are

I Hate When Someone Asks: “Are You Sleeping … ???” …No I am Just Looking At My Eyelids …. STUPID … =P =D …

Manager whts ur father name employee

Manager: wHt’s uR Father nAme? EmpLoyeE: "BijLI Deen" Manager: TOo stRanger Name!! EmplOyee: pEhLay tO UnKa naAM "Chirag dEen" ThA.. Lekin jAb sE sCiENce

In an accounting class instructor was talking

In an accounting class, instructor was talking about budgets. Teacher: "What is a budget?" Little Johnny: "An orderly system for living beyond your means".

After digging to a depth of 100

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to

Fact a lot of fellows

Fact … A Lot Of Fellows Now A Dayz Have B . A, B . B . A, M . B . A, B

A popular motivational

A Popular Motivational

Attitude of youth we are

Attitude of Youth 🙂 “We are mOre brilliant than Einstein and Newton.. . . . . It’s just they didn’t leave anything for us

Heart t0uchng st0ry a b0y l0ved

HEART T0UCH!NG ST0RY A b0y l0ved a girl but never pr0p0sed her. 0ne day he decided t0 tell her at 1:00 am at night.

Dear customer u r requested 2 switch

Dear customer! u r requested 2 switch off ur mobile as the sender of this message . . . . . . . .

Buhot ache wah kya baat hai

Buhot Ache Wah Kya Baat Hai Buhot Aala Gr8 Yaar Zabardast Daad Deni Paregi Brilliant Dil Khush Kardiya La Jawab Khubsoorat Bari Himmat Hai

A very rich man went to a

A very rich man went to a village with his son to show him HOW POOR PEOPLE can be lived..? On return Father asked

Top answers of teachers if they

Top Answers Of Teachers If They Don’t Know The Answers: 1)I Think The Question Is Wrong.. 2)I Will Tell You Tomorrow.. 3)Don’t Ask Foolish

I was worried in a dream

I was worried in a DREAM last nite i saw all the DEVILS of the world have DIED Hey!dont mind Can u send me

Signboard outside a repair shop

Signboard Outside A Repair Shop … "We Can Repair Anything … (PLZ ! Knock Hard On The Door … The Bell Doesn’t Work )

U think of me amp i u

U think of me & i think of u. When v both think of each other, do u know wat it means? It means

I know u r too much daring

I Know U R Too Much Daring Person And Like To Dare To Any Game. I Have A Special Dare 4 U. Can You

Bush asks godwhen will iraq be mine

Bush asks God:When will Iraq be mine? God:Not in ur life time.bush cries. Mushraf asks God:When will Kashmir be in Pakistan? God:Not in ur

The thing which is never complete called

The Thing Which Is Never Complete, Called… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Syllabus!! …

Doctor youre in good health youll live

Doctor: Youre in good health. Youll live to be eighty. Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, what did I tell

A touching love stry a boy

A touching love stry a boy n a grl lv each other vry mch.. One day wile they were talking, the boy touched d

A guys walking down the street and

A guy’s walking down the street and sees Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, “Kid, you’re too young to smoke.” Johnny looks up and

Galilo great mind einstein genious newton

GALILO: Great mind EINSTEIN: Genious mind NEWTON: Extraordinary mind BILL GATES: Brillant mind Me: Master mind U: Oh! Neve mind…

Nxt generation child wil sing in school

Nxt generation child wil sing in school Twinkle twinkle little star, I jus went 2 royal bar, Whisky rates r up so high, So

A thought for all graduates quota

A Thought For All Graduates… "A Thermometer Isn’t The Only Thing That Gets A Degree Without Having Any Brain…" |’!’|…

In an engineering university during a maths

In an engineering university during a math’s class: Student: Why do we have to learn this? Teacher: To save lives!!!!! Student: How does math

todayz thought always

|~ tODAYz thOUgHT ~| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Always dn’t

Every man needs a beautiful wife intelligent

Every Man Needs A Beautiful Wife Intelligent Wife Caring Wife Loving Wife Smart Wife Adjusting & Cooperative Wife, But its said dat Islam allows

Boss beware of 50 50 90 rule employee what

Boss: “Beware of 50-50-90 rule!” Employee: “What do you mean Sir?” Boss: “Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is

Cat how old ru elephant 5

CAT: how old ru? ELEPHANT: 5 years CAT: but u look big? ELEPHANT: I’m a complan boy CAT: I’m 30 yrs old. ELEPHANT: 30?

Height of unreasonable demand 2

Height Of Unreasonable Demand ?? 2 Negroes Wearing Black Suit Standing Infront F A White Wall N Asking 4 a Color Phtograph..!!…

Having 1 child makes you a parent

Having 1 child makes you a parent but having 2 makes you a refree. Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always

Wife wherell u take me on our

Wife: where’ll u take me on our 10th aniversary? Hsband: We’ll go 2 African jungle safari. Wife: Nice. And on our 25th aniversary? Husband:

A smile to put you on high

A sMiLe tO pUt You On HiGh… A KisS To Set YoUr SouL ALriGhT… WouLd iT bE aLriGhT iF I spEnT ToNiTe BeiNg LovED

Waiter and how did you find

Waiter : And how did you find your steak sir? Man : Well, quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was!!!…

Bush asks godwhen will iraq be mine

Bush asks God:When will Iraq be mine? God:Not in ur life time.bush cries. Mushraf asks God:When will Kashmir be in Pakistan? God:Not in ur

I saw your face as you walked

I saw your face as you walked by but then I saw a better guy …

Psychiatrists receptionist comes sayz theres man

PsyChIatrIst’s rEceptionist cOmEs & sAyZ theRe’s mAn oUt WHo sAyS He cAn mAke hImSELf “INVISIBLE” Psychiatrist:”Te|L Him I cAn’t c hIm rIght now.”…

Facebook paper q1 define add

FACEBOOK PAPER Q1 . Define add as friend ? Q2 . What does status means ? … Q3 . What do u mean by

God made man and then rested women

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested …