Little Johnny : Mam,Will you punish me for something that I didn’t do??
MAA: Beta kya kar rahe ho? BETA: Padh raha hoon. MAA: Excellent! kya padh rahe ho? BETA: Ji, girlfriend ke message….g…
No matter how high the sky is,
How deep the ocean is,
How strong the wind is,
How wide the river is,
I just want to tell YOU
They’re none of YOUR BUSINESS!…
Is A Man
A Woman’s B’day
But Not Her Age
I want to share everything with u.
Your sadness ,your happy momments,
Lets start with your bank account!
Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
“I m Not
F a i l e d,
My “SUCCESS” Is Just
P o s t p o n e d …” =P =D …
Boy: My Ex-Girlfriend’s Status On Facebook Says:
“Standing On The Edge If A Bridge…”
So What Did You Comment?
Boy: Nothing, I Just Poked Her :p:D…
I Can’t Msg U Till 2 Weeks.
I’m Goin To USA
Nothing Speecial. Sala Bush Ne
White House Ka Rent Nahi Diya.
Vasool Karna Hai…
U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS…
Kis z da key of love.love z da key of marage.marage z da box of children & children r da problem of pakistan, so stop kising & save pakistan….
A Banner Come Sign Board In Front Of An IT Company . . .
Drive Slowly, Don?t Kill Our Employee?s . . . . Leave Them To Us :p
if your father earned
and gave half of it to your mother,
what would she have?
Little johny: A heart a attack!
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Johnny: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Johnny: No, but the kid who sits next to me was Absent. ;)…
Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No… 1.—–I dont have brain… 2.—–I dont have sence… 3.—–I am stupid….
The Biggest Seller Is
The Second Is
How Not To Eat What
You’ve Just Learned To Cook… =P 😉 …
wen a guy tellz u that he luvz u from the bottom of his heart b careful 4 this may mean dat…….!!!!!!…….. he has enuf space 4 another girl on the top of his heart!!!!!
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one day, he stood behind her
while she was sitting in her chair. He spoke softly
to her, “Honey, can you hear me?”
There was no response. He moved a little closer and said again, “Honey, can you hear me?”
Still, there was no response. Finally, he moved right behind her and said, “Honey, can you hear me?”
She replied, “for the third time, yes!”…
Teacher: Can anyone tell me advantages of chemicals?
Little Johnny: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made!…
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
Wat words starts with’S’ n ends with’X’. It has a lot of ups n down movements
I know wat u r thinking perfect.
SaaMer +92 300 2711 588
Soldier 2 General: Sir a small enemy group is attacking
General: Quick bring me my red shirt
After enemy defeated..
Soldier: sir why the red shirt?
General: In red shirt if i got shot my soldiers would not see my blood so they wont be discouraged
Soldier: sir 100 enemy tanks are attacking
General: Get me my yellow pant..
eVeRy 1 nEeD a jOkEr wHo cAn mAkE uS lAuGh,
EVeR u tHinKeD
THt jOkEr aLsO nEeD jOkEr tO mAkE hIm lAugH,
wHo wIlL bE hIs jOkEr? =P;->…
Don’t Do Drugs
If You Do Drugs
You’ll Go To Prison
Drugs Are Really
Expensive In Prison……… !! ;->…
Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too… Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
Hi! i am marrying next week. there will be a small party and only a few people will be invited…so i am inviting you…don’t bring any gift with you…just bring someone to marry me
u r stupid
s 4 super .. t 4 talented .. u 4 unique .. p 4 pesron .. i 4 in .. d 4 demand
Tcher:"George chopped down his fathers tree & admitted doing it. Do u know why his father didn’t punish him"
Johnny:"Bcoz George still had th axe in his hand."…
Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself. …
Doctor implants a New Ear 2 a man.
man:"U idiot,U gave me a woman’s ear"
Doc: It makes no difference
MAN: "It does,Now I hear everything but understand nothing"…
3 Unforgettable Things In Our Life….
No Need To Be Emotional…….
May our friendship turn in2 silver, silver in2 Gold, gold in2 Dimonds…… and may our dimonds b 4ever. Then we sell it OK. 50/50.
! Giggling Bites !
“Call a girl pretty
& She will remember it for
Call a girl ugly
& She will remember it
when things go wrong & when sadness fill ur heart & when tears flow frm ur eyes, juz let me noe, coz i wana b there 4 u. i m selling TISSUE. BUY 1 GET 1 FREE
Always Speak The Truth!
And Run Immediately After Speaking It!! :…
?ye Chatri buhat khobsorat,ap nE kahan Se khareedi??
:ye Ek behan ki taraf se tuhfa hai:
Lekin apki to koi behan hi nahi?
?wo to theek hai- – – -magr is k dastay per yehi likha hua hai?
No Matter Whether Guyz are driving Ferrari, BMW, Accord, OR Corolla. They are not able to Overtake a . . . . . .
GIRLS COLLEGE VAN
The number u dailed is not responding plz don’t try again….
True Love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy Want True Love? Spend Rs200 BUY A PILLOW
Boss:(asking the applicant)Why did you leave your last job?
Boss:What was the trouble?
Applicant:My boss was sick of me!…
Man 1 : I Got Married Bcoz I Was Tired Of Cooking, Cleaning Home n Washing Clothes
Man 2: Amazing, I Got Divorce For The Same Reason… ;->…
I Failed A Spelling Test
They Asked Me
How To Spell “PLAYER”
I Put Down My
Ex-Girlfriend’s Name … =/ =D…
Someday u may lose ur hair.
u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.
But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.
coz u cant lose wot u don’t have!
I was worried
of the world
Can u send me
only few SMS
2 make me sure
U R STILL ALIVE…
Q:What do you do when a blond throws a hand grenade at you?
Ans: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Tumse mila main kal to,
mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho:
Your file not found!
I see your face when I am dreaming
That’s why I always wake up screaming
You Get Angry At Me;
If I Wake U Up..
You Also Get Angry;
If I Don’t..!!
What The Hell Is This ???
Confused Alarm Clock..=D =P…
1. Principal to student…” I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette… ? ”
2. Class teacher once said :” pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!”
3. once Hindi teacher said….”I’m going out of the world to America..”
4. “..DON’T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..”
5. don’t..laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..
6. It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said ” why is fan not oning” (ing form of on)
7. Teacher in a furious mood… write down ur name and father of ur name!!
8. “shhh… quiet… the principal is revolving around college”
9. My manager started like this “Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids”
10. “will u hang that calendar or else I’ll HANG MYSELF”
11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ,” IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE”
12. Chemistry HOD comes and tells us… “M…
Amazing truth : When your mom decides to be in your room while you are on the computer.. . You just switch to GOOGLE and stare at it..!! 😛 😀 ;-)…
Bush asks God:When will Iraq be mine?
God:Not in ur life time.bush cries.
Mushraf asks God:When will Kashmir be in Pakistan?
God:Not in ur life time.mushraf cries.
And i asked God:When will this reader get brain?
This time God says:Never in ur life time….
EXAMS are like GIRLFRIENDS:
1. Too many questions.
2. Difficult to understand.
3. Too much explaination is needed.
4. Result is always Fail
Ek sahab nAshay me LarkhratAY hUay fOOT paTH per JA rahay thay..!
Pol?CemAn nE Roka oR poocha:Tum Jantay hO mA?N Kon hoON?
Nashai Sahab Ne Gor Se Dekha oR kaha:NAHI?! Haan agR Tum ye Bta Do k Tumhara ghar Kahan hai?TO mAIN tumhaien tumharay ghar Tak Chor Aaon ga…
Attending a wedding for
the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother,
“Why is the bride dressed
…”Because white is the color
of happiness, and today is
the happiest day of her life.”
The child thought about this
for a moment, then said,
“So why is the groom wearing
select one of following
if you selected
1:- you are monkey
2:- you are donkey
3:- you are fool
4:- you are Ullu
5:- you are stupid
what did you select?
ha ha ha
Teacher: Give Me Sentence With a Direct Object.
Student: Every one Thinks You Are The Best Teacher.
But What is The Object?
Student: To Get Good Marks! :-)…
KIA KAR RAHAY HO PAGAL HO KIA …
A Private Employee was rewarded a bicycle by his organisation.It was so beautiful but didnt’ve a Carrier 8 the back,
He requested 2 get it fixed.When the cycle came back with the Carrier fitted,he noted that now the Stand isnt there.
He asked about the missing Stand.
Organisation: Private Nokri me 1 cheez he possible he.
CAREER ya STAND.
Agr STAND lo gy to CAREER khatam aur agar CAREER banana he to STAND kabhi mat lena.
Dedicated 2 all Private Employees.
A Quiet Man,
Is A Thinking Man.
A Quiet Woman,
Mad.. =P …
English translation class.
Teacher : ‘Wats your fathers name?’
Student : ‘Beautiful-Red-Underwear’..!
T : ‘Wwaaatt…?’
S : ‘Sunder-lal-Jetty(Shetty)’..!
Haa haa … :D…
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don’t worry I don’t cry, I’m just happy that cows can’t fly!
Who is a boy?
A boy is the most beautiful part of Gods creation.
he starts compromising at a very tender age.
He sacrifices his chocolates & toys for his sister.
Then he sacrifices his pocket money 4 his gf.
He also sacrifices his cigarettes for friends.
He sacrifices his full youth for his wife and children without complaining.
Boy’s life is really tough and full of sacrifice.
joke finished! u can laugh now:D 😛 :D…
Mr.inside went 2 c Mr.outside. Inside standng outside called Outside outside bt Outside standng inside called Inside inside when Inside came inside Outside went outside 2 c Inside then Outside called Inside outside but Inside from inside called Outside inside . . Now where is ur Brain . inside or outside?…
1 day I read Smoking is Bad,
I Stop Smoking!
1 day I read Drinking is Bad,
I Stop Drinking!
1 day I read Kissing is Bad,
I Stopped Reading….
Morning note : Arguing with Boss is jst like wrestling with a cow in the mud. After sometime u realize that u r getting dirty & the cow is enjoying it….
good lucks catch the eyes and a good personality catches the heart and you are
blessed with both.
FLATTERED? dont b, it was sent to me, just wanted u 2 read it.
The best relation ever is between TWO EYES…
They blink together
see together and
Still they never see each others
But when they saw a girl
1 will blink and another will not
Moral of the story :
A girl can break any kind of relationship….
Give A Person A Fish And You Feed Him For A Day,
Teach A Person To Use The Internet And He Won’t Bother You For Weeks … ;->…
Our Phones Fall,We Panic 😮
Our Friends Fall, We Laugh! 😀
Shame on Us :-P:D…
New Style Of Break- Up !! 😛
A Bf Threw 6 Cricket Balls At His Gf…
Girl Yelled “What Was That For”.. :O :O
Boy Said “Its Over” !:P :D…
KARACHI mE banks me barhti hui robbries pr control k Liay MAIN bank me aLARM System laga dia,jiska button cashier k paon k kareb tha,us k press krnay sE qareebi police station ka alarm baj sakta tha,
Alarm k lagay abhi 3 din huay thay, k do dako T.T Liay bank mE Aagaye,
Cashier se cash cheennay k doran cashier ne alarm ka butt?n press kr dia,chand sekond k baad kareeb paray phone ki ring hui,dako ne receive kia
Dosri taraf sE awaz i.
?OYE,main thanay se bol raha hoon,zara dekh bhaal k betha kro tumhaien pata hi nahi tumhara paon button per hai,paon hatao udher se idiot,idher thanay me Alarm Baj raha hai….
Boss: Itne kam kapray pehan k q aai ho? Aadha jism dikh raha hai.
Girl: Itni salary mein yehi aata hai!
Boss: Manager, Iss ko 3 months tak salary mat dena…
My SCIENCE book says & i agree..
“CELL” is the basic, fundamental unit of life.. 😀 :-P…
Evolution of MAN:
Without Shadi SPIDERMAN,,,
Shadi ke waqt SUPERMAN,,,
Shadi ke baad GENTLEMAN,,,
Aur BIWI Khubsurat ho to saari umaar WATCHMAN….
How Can A Father
Make His Daughter
Walk On The Street
Looking Down The Earth??
Just Gift Her A Mobile With Free Sms;-)…
An oLd Lady gave the busS Drivr penuts 2 eat.
Ths happnd 4 several Times.
The drivr said ‘ Y have u givn me such wondrful peanuts to eat?
Why don’t u eat thm urself?’
The Lady replied ‘i dont have teth to munch thm’
Then why u bought them?
Old Lady: I just Love the chocolate Around thm. Hahaha:-D…
Wife:Can u explain to me how this lipstick got on ur collar? Hubby:No, I really can’t,I definitely remember that I took my shirt off…
SaaMer +92 300 2711 588…
How to convert a university student into a criminal???
burn some pages of their assignments,
an hour before submission..:-P
Dear Girls ! If a guy pauses a video game just to text you back . .
Marry him ;-)…
The human brain is most outstanding thing…….
it functions 24hrs 365 days….
it functions right from the time u r Born….until you fall in love…
Japanese guy visitd Pakistan & took taxi 2 go to friend’s house.On way
Toyota passd by
He told the driver:
Toyota,made in Japan very fast.Then Honda passed
He again:Honda, made in Japan very fast.
Then Prado passed, He again:
Prado, made in Japan very fast.Taxi Driver got angry
When he arrived at his Friends house, Taxi driver:
So much money ?The angry driver replied:
Taxi meter,Made in Pakistan,
Very very fast…
Why is the fire engine red in color?Engine red in color? Color?Bcoz fire engine has a ladder..A lader has steps.. Steps come from a foot..A foot is measured by a ruler.A ruler can b a king or a queen. Elizabeth was queen of england. Elizbeth was also name of ship.Ship floats on water.Water has fish.Fishes have fins. Fins are people of finland.The national flag of finland is red. So fire engine is red in color.. This is a sample of how we attempt our exam…
ONCE A MAN WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND SAID :
Doctor!! Doctor!!! i just have 40 seconds to live :O
Doctor replied: OK please wait a minute Lolx!! 😀 :P…
Judge A Person,
Walk A Mile In
He’s A Mile Away & The Shoes R Yours!!
Take & Run…..
As A Family We’re Trying
To Keep Up With
I Bought 4 My Son
…An Ipod ,
My Daughter An
Myself An Ipad …
I Felt Sorry For My
I Went Out N Bought
Her An Iron .. =P
She Hasn’t Spoken To
Me Since .. =D =D
by HumAyuN Fr…