Funny Jokes Collection

Height of begging a sleeping beggar

Height Of Begging!! A sleeping beggar puts up A notice board in front of him: “Please do not make noise By dropping coins Offer

Teacher how can v stop milk from

Teacher: how can v stop milk from getting sour? Johnny: keep it in the cow….!! ;-)…

The worlds largest migration is from

The World’s Largest Migration Is From . . . . . . . . . Orkut To Facebook ! =P =D…

Its a fact girl may

It’s A Fact. . . . Girl May Not Help U To Get A Lot Of Salary. But Salary May Help U To Get

I wont be impressed with technology until

I won’t be impressed with Technology until I can download a Zinger Burger for FREE!! (William Microsoft) tXt _/”_KiLLEr…

Dont do drugs because if you youll

Don’t Do Drugs Because If You Do Drugs You’ll Go To Prison And Drugs Are Really Expensive In Prison……… !! ;->…

In life wen u r alone

In Life Wen U R Alone When U R Crying Wen U R Upset Wen U R Sad Jus Make A Call 2Me Bcoz

All flowers cannot represent the love but

All flowers cannot represent the love but Rose did it All animals cannot speak but parrot did it and all monkeys cannot read sms

Laysolays dear lays chips you

|Lays’O’Lays| Dear Lays Chips , You forgot to include One thing under The Ingredients . . . . . . . . . .

An elderly gentleman was invited by an

An elderly gentleman was invited by an old frnd 4 dinner. He was impressed by the way his buddy talked 2 his wife with

My nights r becoming sleepless days

My Nights r becoming sleepless, My Days r becoming restless, So i asked God … is this love?? He said! …..idiot , summer has

The w0rlds thinnest b00k is titled by

The w0rld?s thinnest b00k is titled by, ?What W0men Want? It has 0nly 0ne w0rd written in it, . . . . . .

I just hate y0u go away why

I just hate y0u! Go away.. Why The Hell You Keep Coming Again And Again… . . . . . . . Monday?! Disturbed

Short course to be a dermatologist if

Short course to be a dermatologist: If it is dry – add moist; if it is moisten – add dryness. Congratulations, now you are

Chubby cheeks dimple chin browny lips tiny

Chubby Cheeks, Dimple Chin, Browny Lips, tiny eyes& Rosy Tongue Actually I ws pointing out d similarities b/w U & vodafone dog. it’s gr8!

What is wrong with your cell every

what is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey plz contact zoo

Announcement in university the students who

Announcement in University: “The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them” Anothr anouncement after 20 minutes: “The 200 students

Limit of love 1 din samandar

Limit of Love. 1 Din Samandar Ne Naddi Se Pocha, Kab Tak Is Tarah Mujhe Pyar Karti Rahogi Naddi Ne Hans kar Kaha Jab

Girls are never wrong just sometimes

Girls Are Never Wrong Just Sometimes Confused , Rude, Stubborn, Senseless, Emotional, Unchangeable , Crazy, Stupid …n Even Mad But NEVER WRONG … =P

When things go wrong ampamp sadness fill

when things go wrong & when sadness fill ur heart & when tears flow frm ur eyes, juz let me noe, coz i wana

3 friends lived in the same flat

3 friends lived in the same flat on the 110th floor. One day the lift wasn’t working. So they had to climb the stairs.

Find the most suotable place 4 this

Find The Most Suotable Place 4 This Note "Come Like Horse.. Sit Like Thief… Go Like King…. " Nahi Pata… ???? Oki I’|| Te||

Tcher while lecturing noticed a studnt sleeping

Tcher while lecturing, noticed a studnt sleeping at th back. Tcher shouts 2 hs neighbor:”Wake him up!” Neighbor yells: U put him 2 sleep,so

Winter comes again ampamp again summer

Winter Comes ………Again & Again, Summer Comes …….Again & Again, But The Person Like You………….. Will Not Come Again, Because GOD Never Makes The

According to a research 87 of young

According to a research 87% of young people have back pain. . . . . . . . . . The other 13% have

Boy 2 girl hey if i

Boy 2 girl : Hey if i climb this coconut tree, i can see Engineering college babes. Girl : Leave both hands from there,

A doctor came to visit the patient

A doctor came to visit the patient in hospital and patient started pleading and crying, “Doc please save me, please save me!”. The patient

U r a donkey d 4

u r a donkey d 4 decent .. o 4 outclass .. n 4 nice .. k 4 kind .. e 4 excelent ..

Wife says to husbandwhat is the difference

Wife says to husband.What is the difference b/w love & ishque.Husband says love means what i do my sister & ishque means what i

Someone has kidnapped the indian cricket team

Someone has kidnapped the Indian cricket team and demanded Rs 50 crore or else he would burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have

tragedies of girls life 1

-=- TRAGEDIES OF GIRLS LIFE -=- 1- Good Boys r Not Good Looking =P … 2- Good Looking Boys r Not Good Boys =D

A lady broke a signal was

A lady broke a signal & was presentd in front of judge LADY: Ur honor plz let me go i am a school teacher

Biwi shohar se aaj ap daftar se

Biwi shohar se: aaj ap daftar se jaldi kese aa gae? Shohr: achanak mere boss ko gusa aa gaya or bola jahanum mein jao,to

If u need original tigers nail

If U Need Original Tigers Nail For Ur Chain Locket Contact Me Immediately Bcos M Cuttin My Nails 2morow. Booking Close Today…

I hate when someone asks are

I Hate When Someone Asks: “Are You Sleeping … ???” …No I am Just Looking At My Eyelids …. STUPID … =P =D …

Manager whts ur father name employee

Manager: wHt’s uR Father nAme? EmpLoyeE: "BijLI Deen" Manager: TOo stRanger Name!! EmplOyee: pEhLay tO UnKa naAM "Chirag dEen" ThA.. Lekin jAb sE sCiENce

In an accounting class instructor was talking

In an accounting class, instructor was talking about budgets. Teacher: "What is a budget?" Little Johnny: "An orderly system for living beyond your means".

After digging to a depth of 100

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to

Fact a lot of fellows

Fact … A Lot Of Fellows Now A Dayz Have B . A, B . B . A, M . B . A, B

A popular motivational

A Popular Motivational

Attitude of youth we are

Attitude of Youth 🙂 “We are mOre brilliant than Einstein and Newton.. . . . . It’s just they didn’t leave anything for us

Heart t0uchng st0ry a b0y l0ved

HEART T0UCH!NG ST0RY A b0y l0ved a girl but never pr0p0sed her. 0ne day he decided t0 tell her at 1:00 am at night.

Dear customer u r requested 2 switch

Dear customer! u r requested 2 switch off ur mobile as the sender of this message . . . . . . . .

Buhot ache wah kya baat hai

Buhot Ache Wah Kya Baat Hai Buhot Aala Gr8 Yaar Zabardast Daad Deni Paregi Brilliant Dil Khush Kardiya La Jawab Khubsoorat Bari Himmat Hai

A very rich man went to a

A very rich man went to a village with his son to show him HOW POOR PEOPLE can be lived..? On return Father asked

Top answers of teachers if they

Top Answers Of Teachers If They Don’t Know The Answers: 1)I Think The Question Is Wrong.. 2)I Will Tell You Tomorrow.. 3)Don’t Ask Foolish

I was worried in a dream

I was worried in a DREAM last nite i saw all the DEVILS of the world have DIED Hey!dont mind Can u send me

Signboard outside a repair shop

Signboard Outside A Repair Shop … "We Can Repair Anything … (PLZ ! Knock Hard On The Door … The Bell Doesn’t Work )

Two humans ascended a certain geological protuberance

Two humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect a hydride of oxygen whose quantity isn’t specified… One member descends dramatically suffering mechanical damage

U think of me amp i u

U think of me & i think of u. When v both think of each other, do u know wat it means? It means

Jhoom re ek sahab nashay me larkhratay

?JHOOM RE? Ek sahab nAshay me LarkhratAY hUay fOOT paTH per JA rahay thay..! Pol?CemAn nE Roka oR poocha:Tum Jantay hO mA?N Kon hoON?

I know u r too much daring

I Know U R Too Much Daring Person And Like To Dare To Any Game. I Have A Special Dare 4 U. Can You

Bush asks godwhen will iraq be mine

Bush asks God:When will Iraq be mine? God:Not in ur life time.bush cries. Mushraf asks God:When will Kashmir be in Pakistan? God:Not in ur

The thing which is never complete called

The Thing Which Is Never Complete, Called… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Syllabus!! …

Doctor youre in good health youll live

Doctor: Youre in good health. Youll live to be eighty. Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, what did I tell

A touching love stry a boy

A touching love stry a boy n a grl lv each other vry mch.. One day wile they were talking, the boy touched d

A guys walking down the street and

A guy’s walking down the street and sees Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, “Kid, you’re too young to smoke.” Johnny looks up and

Galilo great mind einstein genious newton

GALILO: Great mind EINSTEIN: Genious mind NEWTON: Extraordinary mind BILL GATES: Brillant mind Me: Master mind U: Oh! Neve mind…

Nxt generation child wil sing in school

Nxt generation child wil sing in school Twinkle twinkle little star, I jus went 2 royal bar, Whisky rates r up so high, So

A thought for all graduates quota

A Thought For All Graduates… "A Thermometer Isn’t The Only Thing That Gets A Degree Without Having Any Brain…" |’!’|…

One day a man spotted an old

One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a

In an engineering university during a maths

In an engineering university during a math’s class: Student: Why do we have to learn this? Teacher: To save lives!!!!! Student: How does math

todayz thought always

|~ tODAYz thOUgHT ~| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Always dn’t

Every man needs a beautiful wife intelligent

Every Man Needs A Beautiful Wife Intelligent Wife Caring Wife Loving Wife Smart Wife Adjusting & Cooperative Wife, But its said dat Islam allows

Boss beware of 50 50 90 rule employee what

Boss: “Beware of 50-50-90 rule!” Employee: “What do you mean Sir?” Boss: “Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is

Cat how old ru elephant 5

CAT: how old ru? ELEPHANT: 5 years CAT: but u look big? ELEPHANT: I’m a complan boy CAT: I’m 30 yrs old. ELEPHANT: 30?

Height of unreasonable demand 2

Height Of Unreasonable Demand ?? 2 Negroes Wearing Black Suit Standing Infront F A White Wall N Asking 4 a Color Phtograph..!!…

Having 1 child makes you a parent

Having 1 child makes you a parent but having 2 makes you a refree. Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always

Wife wherell u take me on our

Wife: where’ll u take me on our 10th aniversary? Hsband: We’ll go 2 African jungle safari. Wife: Nice. And on our 25th aniversary? Husband:

Life before computer window was a

life before computer – – – Window was a square hole in a room Application was somethong written in paper Mouse was an animal

A smile to put you on high

A sMiLe tO pUt You On HiGh… A KisS To Set YoUr SouL ALriGhT… WouLd iT bE aLriGhT iF I spEnT ToNiTe BeiNg LovED

Waiter and how did you find

Waiter : And how did you find your steak sir? Man : Well, quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was!!!…

Bush asks godwhen will iraq be mine

Bush asks God:When will Iraq be mine? God:Not in ur life time.bush cries. Mushraf asks God:When will Kashmir be in Pakistan? God:Not in ur

I saw your face as you walked

I saw your face as you walked by but then I saw a better guy …

Psychiatrists receptionist comes sayz theres man

PsyChIatrIst’s rEceptionist cOmEs & sAyZ theRe’s mAn oUt WHo sAyS He cAn mAke hImSELf “INVISIBLE” Psychiatrist:”Te|L Him I cAn’t c hIm rIght now.”…

Facebook paper q1 define add

FACEBOOK PAPER Q1 . Define add as friend ? Q2 . What does status means ? … Q3 . What do u mean by

God made man and then rested women

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested …

Ek don ka beta oral exam me

ek don ka beta ORAL EXAM me fail ho gaya, ghar aakar wo apne dad se bola- sun baap , un logo ne 3

Ocean full of syllabus river questions

Ocean full of syllabus River full of questions Bucket level we study Mug level we answer & Marks comes like a drop then why

Apne chare se ruswaie ka ampquoterrorampquot to

Apne chare se ruswaie ka "ERROR" to hataho, Ab bohat ho gaya apne dil ka "PASSWORD" to bataho, Axser raat ko app mere sapne

If time doesnt wait 4 u

If time doesn’t wait 4 u Don’t worry! Just remove the damn battery from ur clock & Enjoy life!…

wen-a-guy-tellz-u-that-he

wen a guy tellz u that he luvz u from the bottom of his heart b careful 4 this may mean dat…….!!!!!!…….. he has

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don’t worry I don’t cry, I’m just happy that cows can’t fly!

In a bar man attend da call

In a bar, a man attend da call of a ringing mobile. Man: Hello! Wife: Darling shall I buy 1 diamond ring? Man: Sure

A woman met a man walking along

A woman met a man Walking along the streets Wearing only one shoe. “Just Lost A Shoe?” She asked He answered: “Nope, Just Found

G ghost i in r real

G – Ghost I – In R – Real L – Life So Avoid Girls & Forward Their Numbers To Me… Don’t Worry Abt

Dear lays manufacturer u forgot to mention

Dear lays manufacturer U forgot to mention one more thing in the list of ur ingredients. . . . . . . Air 85%

What is the difference btw secretary and

what is the difference btw secretary and personal secretary…. Secretary says: Good morning sir! Personal Secretary Says: Oh MY GOD… its morning Sir…….

If we were born kn0wing everything

If We WeRe BoRn Kn0wInG eVeRyThInG tHeN …wHaT w0uLd We Do WiTh AlL tHe TiMe 0n ThIs PlAnEt Be Pr0uD t0 sAy “I DON’T

Lecturer quotchildren in the dark make mistakesquot

Lecturer: "Children in the dark make mistakes..!" convert dis sentence to its opposite form… Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children..!" ….. ;->…

The new england journal of medicine reports

The New England Journal Of Medicine Reports That… ! ” 9 Out Of 10 Doctors Agree That 1 Out Of 10 Doctors Is An

Universal truth we learnt sun rises in

Universal TRUTH we learnt “sun rises in the east” Fact:- “sun neither rises nor sets, only earth rotates” Moral “Education spoils our commonsense”…

I am looking for a bank which

I am Looking for a Bank which can perform Two things for me. Give me a Loan, & then Leave me aLone…!: 🙂 :-P…

A beggar found rs 100

A Beggar Found Rs. 100/- . .. … He Went To A 5 Star Hotel For Dinner… . .. … Bill Rs. 3000/- .

A why are you late b there

A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That’s nice. Were you helping him look

I know a lot about cars

I Know A Lot About Cars … I Can Look At A Car’s Headlights And Tell You Exactly Which Way It’s Coming… ;->…

Fact of google 50 the

FACT of GOOGLE: . . 50% of the people use it well as a search engine..!! .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Ppl say a kiss is on

Ppl Say A Kiss Is On HEAD A Sweet Kiss On CHEEKS A Passionate Kiss On LIPS A Romantic Kiss On NECK But Seriously

Love is not how long uve been

LovE is Not HoW LonG U’ve BeeN 2gEthEr; nOt HoW MucH U’ve GIvEn oR RecEivE; Not hOw MaNy TimEs U’ve HeLpEd EaCh OthEr —