Boss beware of 50 50 90 rule employee what

Boss: “Beware of 50-50-90 rule!”

Employee: “What do you mean Sir?”

Boss: “Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is 90% probability that you will get it wrong!”…

Having 1 child makes you a parent

Having 1 child makes you a parent but having 2 makes you a refree.

Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always right and the other is always husband.

You can’t buy love but you pay heavily for it.

Wife and husband always compromise, husband admits that he’s wrong and wife too agrees with him.

Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to

speak..! xP=P…

Height of unreasonable demand 2

Height Of Unreasonable Demand ??

2 Negroes Wearing Black Suit

Standing Infront F A White Wall

N Asking 4

a Color Phtograph..!!…

Wife wherell u take me on our

Wife: where’ll u take me on our 10th aniversary?

Hsband: We’ll go 2 African jungle safari.

Wife: Nice. And on our 25th aniversary?

Husband: I’ll bring u back….

Waiter and how did you find

Waiter : And how did you find your steak sir?

Man : Well, quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was!!!…

Apne chare se ruswaie ka ampquoterrorampquot to

Apne chare se ruswaie ka "ERROR" to hataho,

Ab bohat ho gaya apne dil ka "PASSWORD" to bataho,

Axser raat ko app mere sapne mein aatein hain,

Mere pyar ko "MOUSE" banake englio pe nachate hain,

Or tere pyar ka "E-MAIL" mere dil ko labhata hai,

Beach mein tera baap "VIRUS" banke aa jaata hai.

G ghost i in r real

G – Ghost

I – In

R – Real

L – Life

So Avoid Girls

&

Forward Their Numbers To Me…

Don’t Worry Abt My Life. . .

I’m A Professional. . .

GHOST RIDER… ;->

In a bar man attend da call

In a bar, a man attend da call of a ringing mobile.

Man: Hello!

Wife: Darling shall I buy 1 diamond ring?

Man: Sure honey!

Wife: Shall I use your credit card for Crystal pendant?

Man: Ok dear!

Friends: Great to see that you love her so much!

Man: Hmm! By the way, whose mobile is this?!?…

If we were born kn0wing everything

If We WeRe BoRn Kn0wInG

eVeRyThInG

tHeN

…wHaT w0uLd We Do WiTh AlL

tHe TiMe 0n ThIs PlAnEt

Be Pr0uD t0 sAy

“I DON’T KNOW” =P ;-}

Universal truth we learnt sun rises in

Universal TRUTH we learnt

“sun rises in the east”

Fact:-

“sun neither rises nor sets, only earth rotates”

Moral

“Education spoils our commonsense”…

A why are you late b there

A: Why are you late?

B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.

A: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?

B: No, I was standing on it….

A beggar found rs 100

A Beggar Found Rs. 100/-

.

..



He Went To A 5 Star Hotel For Dinner…

.

..



Bill Rs. 3000/-

.

..



He was unable to pay!!!

.

Manager Handed Him To Police!!!

.

He Gave Rs. 100/- To Policeman & Free!!!

.

Its Called FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT Without MBA..!!!…

I know a lot about cars

I Know A Lot About Cars …

I Can Look At A Car’s Headlights And Tell You Exactly

Which Way It’s Coming… ;->…

Love is not how long uve been

LovE is Not HoW LonG U’ve BeeN 2gEthEr; nOt HoW MucH U’ve GIvEn oR RecEivE; Not hOw MaNy TimEs U’ve HeLpEd EaCh OthEr — Its HoW U VALUE EaCh OtHEr… …

Teacher mehnat karo ga tou kuch

Teacher Mehnat Karo Ga

Tou Kuch Bano Ga .

Pathan Student Teacher Hamra

Gadha Tou Itni Mehnat Karta Hai

Magr Wo Kuch Nahe Bana …;->

1st man which is the best month

1st Man: Which Is The Best Month

To Get Married..?

2nd Man: Octemb ruary..

1st Man: Don’t Be Silly,

There Is No Such Month

2nd Man: Exactly.. =P =D…

How much secrets are hidden on a

How Much SECRETS are Hidden On A Cell

Phone is Directly Proportional To

.

.

.

. .

.

.

.

.

. .

.

.

.

.

. .

.

.

.

How Quickly U Snatch it Back When

Someone Takes it..=P =D…

Janx can i have a picture of

JAn|x Can i Have a PicTure of Urs?

.

.

.

AcTuaLLy, The Thing is ThaT i have sTarTed a new hobby of coLLecTing phoTographs of "NaTuraL DisasTerS" ;->…

1 fine morning in the middle of

1 fine morning in the middle of the night,

2 dead boys woke up to fight,

Back to back they faced each other,

Took out their swords & shot each other,

One deaf policeman heard the noise &

Killed the 2 dead boys

Beleive this lie, it’s really true,

Ask the blind beggar, he saw it too….

I dont get the saying if

I Don’t Get The Saying

“If You Snooze, You Lose.”

I Hit The Snooze Button

8 Times This Morning,

…And

I Woke Up Feeling Like A

Champion. . . =P =D

A gorgeous girl walks up 2 professors

A Gorgeous Girl Walks up 2 Professor?s Cabin & Says: I’ll Do Anything 2 Pass D Exam.

Prof: Anything?

Girl: Ya

Prof?

Girl: Ya!!

Prof: Then Go & Study…! …

When sum1 takes ur cell for hours

When sum1 Takes ur cell for Hours & you are in no Hurry to Get it Back

.

.

.

Then

.

.

.

.

You Realize How Hopeless Single You are . . . =P ;->…

R u intelegent ans thez 1 china kis

R u intelegent..

Ans thez

1-China kis mulk main hai?

2-14Aug kis date ko ati hai.?

3-Green rung kis colour ka hota hai..?

4-timatar ko urdu main kya boltay hn…

classic boy is your body

~*~ CLASSIC ~*~

Boy: Is Your Body From

McDonald . . . ?

…Girl: Why, Because

You’re Loving It . . . ? 😉

Boy: No, Because

It’s Greasy N Fat . . . =P =D

Modern definition 0f boy friend

Modern Definition 0f

” Boy Friend ”

A Person Who Has To Like

All The Status And Photos

…0f His Girl Friend

No Matter

How Bad They Are . . . =P =D

An applicant to his new boss sir

An applicant to his new Boss.

“Sir, I always give 100% at work!”

Boss: “Oh, and how do you manage it ?”

Applicant replies: “Sir, 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday!”…

Why girls live longer than boys

Why girls live longer than boys???? ..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

Scientific studies have proved that ..

..

..

“SHOPPING”

never causes HEART ATTACKS, but, .

..

“PAYING the “BILLS” does…

After a quarrel husband said to his

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, You know, I was a fool when I married you.She replied, Yes dear, I know but I was in love and didnt notice.

Fact of our life whenever we find

Fact of our life:

Whenever we find the key 2 success,

Some idiots change the locks..

So,4get the key.

Learn to BREAK da doors!

Keep rocking!! ;^>…

U r sweet as chocolatmitha gulabjamun rasila

U r sweet as

chocolat,mitha

as gulabjamun, rasila as rasgula,cool as ice cream. Bhagwan har buri nazar se bachay,kahi mere chipchipe Dost ko chiti na kha jaye..

SaaMer +92 300 2711 588

A girl updated her status on facebook

A Girl Updated her Status on facebook:

“:((”

1st Boy Commented:

What happened Babes? Am therefor you ?? :/

*She Blocked Him*

2nd Boy Commeted:

aawww My Baby, I Love you…

Please don’t Cry.. 🙁

*She Blocked Him too.. =$*

3rd Boy Commeted:

Hat be.. =O

Jab Dekho Roti rehti hai facebook pe..!! =@

*She Blocked him too..* . . .

4th Boy Commented:

What happened Dear ??

Can I help u in anyway ???

She Commented back:

Yes Bro.

Let me know you via inbox..!! =)

** This Time..

The Boy Blocked Her.. =P =D…

I want you to be with me

I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say those three sweet words to you….Pay The Bill.

A woody joke what wood happn

A Woody Joke..

.

.

.

What wood happn if u had a wooden car,

.

with wooden seats

.

wooden tyres..

.

and a wooden engine?

.

.

.

.

It Wooden’t start..! :D…

Someone asked shakespeare u married a girl

Someone Asked Shakespeare:

“U Married A Girl Elder Than U, Why?”

He Showed Him A Calendar N Said

“A Week Has 7 Days;

Can U Say Which Day Is Younger,

Either Sunday Or Saturday ??

So, Love Comes From Heart Not In Age”

Love Has No Age.

-MORAL:

Senior Girls R Also Available For Boys:P…

Far sighted once an old man

Far sighted….

Once an old man was waiting for a train, sitting on a bench. A young boy came to him and asked the time. Old man refused to tell the time. Boy insisted again & again but old man denied again & again. Boy asked the reason? Old man said if i tell you the time, then you will ask about me,my name,job etc. Then i will ask about you,both of us will b efrank. By chance you may get the seat with me. Then you may get down at my station. My daughter will come to receive me. She will meet you. She is beautiful. You may fall in love with her,she too. Then she may insist to marry u, even may threaten me. And i am sorry that i dont want such a poor son in law who hasn’t his own watch to see the time. ;-)…

A perfect girl doesnt bother shout flirt

A Perfect Girl Doesn’t Bother…

Doesn’t Shout.. Doesn’t Flirt With Others..

Doesn’t Lies.. Doesn’t Cheat..

.

,

.

.

.

.

.

And Doesn’t ExiSts.. 😀 😀

Clappinggg…

Women hve a passion 4 mathematics

Women Hve A Passion 4 Mathematics

They Divide Thier Age In Half

Double The Price Of Thier Cloths &

Alwys Add AtLeast 5 Years 2 The Age Of Their BesT Frnd ;->…

There was a couple who had two

There was a couple who had two daughters.. Both were beautiful girls.. The couple didnt have a son.. They wanted 2 try onelast tym..! nine months later…! The father remarked "what an ugly baby". He asked his wife , "r u cheating on me?". The wife smiled and said "Not this tym dear……………

Ive no girlfriend girl friend girl

I’ve No Girlfriend

I’ve No Girl friend

I’ve No GirL Friend

I’ve No GirL Friend

Tum aPnay wA|i kA Number dE Do

Poori Das Ho jAin gI

+92 300 2711 588

~ Tum Bin ~…

U can control ur breath but not

U can control ur Breath but not Death

U can control ur Life but not ur Wife

U can control ur emotions but not

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

LOOSE MOTION. . . ;->…

Beautiful words by a best friend

Beautiful Words By A Best Friend-

‘Always Remember That If You Fall, I Will Pick You Up…

Only After I Finish Laughing..’ Hahahaha 😛 :D…

Whats 0n your mind you ask

Whats 0n Your Mind

You Ask?

Well, Facebook…

I Would Tell You



But

Youre Terrible At Keeping

Secrets … ! =P 😉

If animals had facebook these aremost likely

IF ANIMALS HAD Facebook, THESE ARE
MOST LIKELY TO BE THEIR STATUS
UPDATES:
COCKROACH: “My Friends pls help me to
thank God!just found out Mortein na
Bodyspray…didn’t kill me.. Just made me
smell good!
CHICKEN: If tomorrow I’m not updating
my status, it means am being served at
‘MR BIGGS’… Love U all!
PIG: Ohh gosh! They throw gossip that
I’m spreading flu…wtf!
DOG: I hate calabar people!
COW: My calf wants to suck now but the
farmer has taken all the milk in the
morning
RAT: The owner of the house just
bought a cat, we dey pack comot 2moro.
GOAT: friends… thank God 4 me ooo.a
car almost hit me now now…chai!i wud
hav died like fowl…
FOWL’s comment on Goat status: i thank
God 4 u ooo…dnt mind those yeye
humans… dats hw they drive like goat.
Haaaa laff wan tear my belle Oo

3 guys were introduced to a girl

3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I?m Peter, not a saint. I?m Paul not a POPE. I?m John not a Baptist. The girl replied. Hi… I?m Mary, not a VIRGIN.

Funny ultimate truths 1 whenever

FUNNY ULTIMATE TRUTHS :

1.

Whenever I find the key to success,

someone changes the lock.

2.

The road to success is always under construction 😉

3.

In order to get a loan,

you first need to prove that you don’t need it 😛

4.

All the desireable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married 😛

5.

Once you have bought something,

you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate 😀

Enjoy life ! :-)…

Girl nice mobile where did u buy

Girl-Nice Mobile.

Where Did U Buy?

Boy-I Won Dis In A Running Race.

Girl-How Many People Participated?

Boy- MOBILE OWNER, POLICE And ME. …

A man received d phone from

A man received d phone

from emergency room of hospital

Doctor: Your wife was in a fatal car

accident & I’ve bad n good news.

The bad news is,

She has lost both arms n legs n

will b on a respirator d rest of her life.

Man: 0h my God, whats the good

news?

Doctor: I’m kidding, She is Dead… =P =D …

Facebook paper q1 define add

FACEBOOK PAPER

Q1 . Define add as friend ?

Q2 . What does status means ?



Q3 . What do u mean by poke ?

Q4 . Give two reasons for liking the girls comments ?

Q5 . What is pic tag ?

Q6 . What is inbox msg ?

Q7 . Give details of info ?

Q8 . Draw a profile pic ?

Q9 . What is page ? And why we prmote it . Give reasons ?

Q10 . Define comments on post ?…

How should a teacher be

How should a TEACHER be ? -.- <3 -Should be Absent at least 3 times a week -Should come in class 10mins late and left the class 10 mins earlier -Should not give any homework and assignments -Should not ask any questions to students -Should not disturb the students by teaching while they are talking …

Height of insult d guide i

Height of Insult 😀

Guide: I welcome you all to Niagra falls. This is the world’s largest waterfall & the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can’t be heard!

Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra Falls……….

What do u call a laughing motorcycle

What Do U Call A Laughing MotorCycle. . . ???

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Guess Karo

Ez Hai

.

.

.

.

.

Nahi Pata

.

.

.

.

It’s Yamahahahaha. . . ;->…

Fairyto a 62 year old couple i

Fairy(to a 62 year old couple): I will grant you each a wish.

Wife: I want to travel around the world with my husband.

The fairy waved her magic wand & ‘POOF’

Two tickets appeared in her hands.

Husband: I wish to have a wife 30 years younger to me.

The fairy waved her magic wand & ‘POOF’

The husband became 92 years old.

Moral:

Men who are ungrateful idiots should remember that fairies are females….

A small but very meaningful thought

A Small But Very Meaningful

Thought . . .

“Nothing Is Interesting In

L I F E . . . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

If YOU Are NOT Interested…!!!” =]…

Employee i want a raise in my

Employee: I want a raise in my salary, I am in demand and have two companies running after me!

Boss: Oh! I am really impressed but which companies are they?

Employee slowly: The electric and the telephone company!!…

3 animals broke in2 the house wen

3 animals broke in2 the house, wen cops came ,they found da mouse watchn TV,da pig in the kitchen and da stupind donkey was found reading ths sms….

The pain of losing a loved one

The pain of losing a Loved one is nothing when compared to the pain that is felt when

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Biscuit falls into Tea due to over dipping:-S…

Wht is meaning of meaningless

Wht is meaning of “Meaningless”. . Meaning of meaningless is which has no meaning. . .

But

How a meaningless word has meaning?.?.?.?

But

we have 2 describe its meaning but how?

Meaningless is meaningless So this sms is meaningless.

Y U r wasting time?=P;->…

A mobile is like a woman talks

A mobile is like a woman- talks non-stop,costs a fortune,disturbs when u r busy n when u need it urgently-there is no service …

The first law of philosophy for every

The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.

The Second Law of Philosophy: They’re both wrong….

Girls psychology fraud with innocent boys

Girls Psychology !!! Fraud with Innocent Boys Fun with Handsome Boys Friendship with Charming Boys Contact with Intelligent Boys Flirt with Freaky Boys Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy Moral of the story : Chandramukhi ho yaa Paaro, Sab Ek jaisi hai Yaaro

Fadi

0345 5888477…

When u r single you see happy

When u r Single,

You See Happy Couples Everywhere,

,

But

,

When u r Married,

You See Happy Singles Everywhere… 😉 :D…

Its been a rough dayi got up

Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I’m afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom

Class room is like a train

Class Room is Like a Train

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

1st Two Benches r Reserved For VIP . .

Nxt Two Benches r General coach

.

.

.

Then

.

Last Two Benches r Vry Demanded.

.

.

.

.

.

Bcz Its.”SLEEPER COACH” 😛 :D…

From mon to sun jan to dec

From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec,

From birth till my death,

my feelings 4 u have never changed.

For me, you’ve always been

……….a headache!…

The phone bill was exceptionally high

The phone bill was exceptionally high..

Man called a family meeting on saturday to discuss..

Dad- this is unacceptable. I don’t use this phone, i only use my work phone..

Mum.. Me too. I hardly ever use this phone..

Son- i use my office mobile i never use the home phone..

All of them are shocked n together look at the maid who’s patiently listening to them..

Maid- wat?

So v all use our work phones.. Not a Big deal…! =P ;->…

The best place to breakup with

The Best Place To

Breakup With Your

Girl Friend Is In McDonald

There Are Sharp

Knives & Forks 0r

Heavy Plates

&

You Can Always Hide Behind

A Fat Kid … =P =D …

Win an iphone a car 0r

Win An iphone,

A CAR,

0r

A HOUSE In DUBAI…

Use A Sharp 0bject To

Scratch Here

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

Please Do This Now. . . =P =D …