Funny Jokes Collection

Teacher you missed school yesterday didnt you

TeAcHeR: “YoU MiSsEd ScHoOl YeStErDaY DiDn’T YoU?” StUdEnT: “No NoT EvEn A LiTtLe BiT.” Sameer +92 300 2711 588 ~ Tum Bin ~…

A heart touching message we

A Heart Touching Message .. .. .. .. .. .. “We Need Six Months Vacation Twice A Year. . . ” =P =D …

No one is too young for love

No one is too young for love, because love doesn’t come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows

New style of break up p

New Style Of Break- Up !! 😛 A Bf Threw 6 Cricket Balls At His Gf… Girl Yelled “What Was That For”.. :O :O

Two ladies fighting for a seat in

Two ladies fighting for a seat in a bus .. Bus Conductor : The older one should sit her xP Both looked at each

I always pray 4 u dt may

i aLwAyS pRaY 4 U dT mAy uR lIfE b bRiGhT & sUnNy,& uR pArTnEr b fAt & fUnNy. mAy uR lIfE b fIlLeD

If a cute n handsum girl says

If a cute n Handsum girl says 2 u "I LUV U" Do Any Of 3 Thngs.. 1.Take him 2 d Eye specialist. 2.Take

Talk 2 me when im bored kiss

TaLk 2 me wHen i’m boReD, kiSS me wHen i’m saD, hug me wHen i cRy, caRe 4 me wHen i diE, loVe me

Some funny signboards pizza

Some Funny Signboards … @ Pizza Shop “7 Dayz Widout Pizza Makes 1 Weak” In No-smoking Area “If V c Smoke, V’ll Azume U

Boss to an employee do you

BOSS to an employee…. . “Do you believe in life after Death?” . EMPLOYEE….. . “Certainly not! There’s no proof of it”, he replied.

If child labour is a crime

If Child Labour Is A Crime . . . . . . . . . Then Why Teacher Gives Homework ?? :-D…

If time doesnt wait 4 u

If time doesn’t wait 4 u Don’t worry! Just remove the damn battery from ur clock & Enjoy life!…

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control and stopped inches from a

Doctor u lk exactly like my third

Doctor: U l??k exactly like my third wife..! Lady: How many wivez do u have??? Doc: Two…! Moral: Express smart ideas "Smarty’ ;)…

A fact a girl will

A Fact : “A Girl Will Always Forgive And Forget But She Will Never Let You Forget That She Had Forgiven And Forgotton.. :D…

After digging to a depth of 100

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to

Gal do u have any sentimental love

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards? Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’ Gal: Great!

Teachr whats d benifit of eating spinach

Teachr: What’s D Benifit Of Eating Spinach? Studnt: Eat Spinach & U’ll GrowUp Big & Strong Lyk POPYE But U’ll Also End Up Wid

Exams are like girlfriends 1 too

EXAMS are like GIRLFRIENDS: 1. Too many questions. 2. Difficult to understand. 3. Too much explaination is needed. 4. Result is always Fail …

Try this its fun take ur

Try This Its Fun! Take Ur Mobile, Select Vibrate Mode & Put In Water & Call 4m Landline Ur Moblile Will Start Swimming. …

Qwhat do you when a blond throws

Q:What do you do when a blond throws a hand grenade at you? Ans: Pull the pin and throw it back. …

Bossasking the applicantwhy did you leave your

Boss:(asking the applicant)Why did you leave your last job? Applicant:Illness. Boss:What was the trouble? Applicant:My boss was sick of me!…

God made man and then rested women

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested …

What happend 2 ur mobile i was

what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r

Five benefit of kiss 1changes taste

five benefit of kiss 1.changes taste 2.burn calories 3.lips never got dried 4.makes face muscles strong 5.RELIEVES STRESS so keep kissing …

From here onwrds dun meet n talk

From here onwrds dun meet n talk 2me I m going in my way n u go by ur way We will nver meet

I looked 4 u up down

I Looked 4 U Up Down Left Right Here There Everywhere just 2 sprAy MORTEIN…. ;->…

Lady is this my train station master

Lady: Is this my train..? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.. Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask

Doctor to patient the check which you

Doctor to Patient: The check which you gave me has been returned Patient to Doctor: The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has

The rain makes all things beautiful grass

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn?t it rain on you? …

Ek don ka beta oral exam me

ek don ka beta ORAL EXAM me fail ho gaya, ghar aakar wo apne dad se bola- sun baap , un logo ne 3

It is not being in love that

It is not being in love that makes me happy… but is being in love with YOU that makes me happy. …

Imagine urself in a boat which

Imagine urself in a boat which is sinking sharks all around u wat can u do 2 save urself? very simple stop IMAGINING…

Height of over confidence a g i

HeIgHT Of ovEr coNfiDeNce, A G I R L S A Y z W i d A l o t O F M a

Real fact of d millenium quotwhnevr

Real Fact Of D Millenium. "Whnevr U Throw A Stone In The Streets Of Lahore Or Karachi, It’ll Surely Hit.. A Dog Or N

Fact of google 50 the

FACT of GOOGLE: . . 50% of the people use it well as a search engine..!! .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Girl which is more important to you

Girl: Which Is More Important To You? Your Life Or Me? Boy: Before I Answer That, Let Me Ask You Something. . Girl: Sure,

Mom always said money doesnt grow

MOM ALWAYS SAID… “Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees” Mom!!!! money is made from paper & paper comes from trees. Therefore your argument is invalid…

In an engineering university during a maths

In an engineering university during a math’s class: Student: Why do we have to learn this? Teacher: To save lives!!!!! Student: How does math

The reason why most of the men

The reason why most of the men prefer to KISS women’s lips.. . . Thats the best & probably the only way to shut

Boy my ex girlfriends status on facebook says

Boy: My Ex-Girlfriend’s Status On Facebook Says: “Standing On The Edge If A Bridge…” Friend: So What Did You Comment? Boy: Nothing, I Just

Life before computer window was a

life before computer – – – Window was a square hole in a room Application was somethong written in paper Mouse was an animal

A memon had an accident in

A Memon Had An Accident In His New BMW When Cops Arrived, Memon Cried …”Officer My Brand New Car ! ! ” Cops Says:

An idea can change your life but

An Idea Can Change Your Life But, A Woman can change your IDEA.. So, Always change Women to change Ideas WHAT AN IDEA SIR

This is how a week goes

This is how a week goes: . . Mooooooooooooooooonday…….. . Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuesday……… . Weeeeeeeeeeeeednesday………. . Thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuursday………. . Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiday……….. . . . saturdaysunday… =P ;->…

Boy im searching for the most beautiful

Boy: I’m searching for the most beautiful girl..!! Girl: Look I came for you..!! Boy: That’s nice! Now help me to find her..!…

Bartender i think uve had enuf sir

Bartender: I Think U’ve Had Enuf Sir ! Drunk: I Just Lost My Wife, Buddy ! Bartender: Well, It Must Be Hard Losing A

Gals have two major problems with their

Gals have two major problems with their wardrobe: 1. Nothing to wear & 2. No place to keep her clothes. . . . .

Dear computer users i do appreciate

Dear Computer Users, I do appreciate your kind attitude towards the other keys of keyboard! But why do you press all the keys softly

Boy1you are late boy2i had to toss

Boy1:You are late!. Boy2:I had to toss a coin to decide going to church and coming to the game. Boy1:So long? Boy2:I had to

Jhoom re ek sahab nashay me larkhratay

?JHOOM RE? Ek sahab nAshay me LarkhratAY hUay fOOT paTH per JA rahay thay..! Pol?CemAn nE Roka oR poocha:Tum Jantay hO mA?N Kon hoON?

Dear god give me the wisdom

Dear God, Give Me The Wisdom To Understand My Boss.. .. Give Me The Love To Forgive Him.. .. Give Me The Patience To

Two humans ascended a certain geological protuberance

Two humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect a hydride of oxygen whose quantity isn’t specified… One member descends dramatically suffering mechanical damage

Two friends billooo amp tillooo went to

Two friends Billooo & Tillooo went to school for appearing in English exam (7th standard). They had crammed an essay of "MY BEST FRIEND".

A touching story 1 day

A Touching Story… ! ! ! 1 day the mosquito got excited & gave a love bite to the dog The dog became emotional

She blinded me with her light its

She BlinDeD mE wiTh hEr LigHT, it’S SucH A beaUtiFuL SigHt… The WaY She MoVes Is LiKe An AngEl… ShE gOt Me WaLkiNg On

There are 20 types of facebookers

There Are 20 Types Of Facebookers: 1. Over Photo Editors 2. Extremely Frequent Status Updaters 3. Page Likers 4. Attention Seekers …5. Wall Posters

If u need advice sms me

if u need ADVICE SMS ME if u need a FRIEND CALL ME if u need HELP E-MAIL ME if u need MONEY The

9 advices to youth 1 never

9 Advices To Youth: 1> Never Love A Girl/Boy Truly …2> Never Lie To Parents 3> Never Be Rude To Anyone. 4> Always Say

Personality test select one of following

Personality Test select one of following 1-2-3-4-5 Result if you selected 1:- you are monkey 2:- you are donkey 3:- you are fool 4:-

When my parents are asleep me shh

When my parents are asleep Me: “Shh they are sleeping.” When I’m asleep Parents:”Lets vacuum the house for 3 hours.”…

One day a man spotted an old

One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a

Morning note arguing with boss is

Morning note : Arguing with Boss is jst like wrestling with a cow in the mud. After sometime u realize that u r getting

What is the difference btw secretary and

what is the difference btw secretary and personal secretary…. Secretary says: Good morning sir! Personal Secretary Says: Oh MY GOD… its morning Sir…….

Corporate lessons we w

Corporate Lessons “We w

Height of begging a sleeping beggar

Height Of Begging!! A sleeping beggar puts up A notice board in front of him: “Please do not make noise By dropping coins Offer

Teacher how can v stop milk from

Teacher: how can v stop milk from getting sour? Johnny: keep it in the cow….!! ;-)…

The worlds largest migration is from

The World’s Largest Migration Is From . . . . . . . . . Orkut To Facebook ! =P =D…

Its a fact girl may

It’s A Fact. . . . Girl May Not Help U To Get A Lot Of Salary. But Salary May Help U To Get

I wont be impressed with technology until

I won’t be impressed with Technology until I can download a Zinger Burger for FREE!! (William Microsoft) tXt _/”_KiLLEr…

Dont do drugs because if you youll

Don’t Do Drugs Because If You Do Drugs You’ll Go To Prison And Drugs Are Really Expensive In Prison……… !! ;->…

In life wen u r alone

In Life Wen U R Alone When U R Crying Wen U R Upset Wen U R Sad Jus Make A Call 2Me Bcoz

All flowers cannot represent the love but

All flowers cannot represent the love but Rose did it All animals cannot speak but parrot did it and all monkeys cannot read sms

Laysolays dear lays chips you

|Lays’O’Lays| Dear Lays Chips , You forgot to include One thing under The Ingredients . . . . . . . . . .

An elderly gentleman was invited by an

An elderly gentleman was invited by an old frnd 4 dinner. He was impressed by the way his buddy talked 2 his wife with

My nights r becoming sleepless days

My Nights r becoming sleepless, My Days r becoming restless, So i asked God … is this love?? He said! …..idiot , summer has

The w0rlds thinnest b00k is titled by

The w0rld?s thinnest b00k is titled by, ?What W0men Want? It has 0nly 0ne w0rd written in it, . . . . . .

I just hate y0u go away why

I just hate y0u! Go away.. Why The Hell You Keep Coming Again And Again… . . . . . . . Monday?! Disturbed

Short course to be a dermatologist if

Short course to be a dermatologist: If it is dry – add moist; if it is moisten – add dryness. Congratulations, now you are

Chubby cheeks dimple chin browny lips tiny

Chubby Cheeks, Dimple Chin, Browny Lips, tiny eyes& Rosy Tongue Actually I ws pointing out d similarities b/w U & vodafone dog. it’s gr8!

What is wrong with your cell every

what is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey plz contact zoo

Announcement in university the students who

Announcement in University: “The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them” Anothr anouncement after 20 minutes: “The 200 students

Limit of love 1 din samandar

Limit of Love. 1 Din Samandar Ne Naddi Se Pocha, Kab Tak Is Tarah Mujhe Pyar Karti Rahogi Naddi Ne Hans kar Kaha Jab

Girls are never wrong just sometimes

Girls Are Never Wrong Just Sometimes Confused , Rude, Stubborn, Senseless, Emotional, Unchangeable , Crazy, Stupid …n Even Mad But NEVER WRONG … =P

When things go wrong ampamp sadness fill

when things go wrong & when sadness fill ur heart & when tears flow frm ur eyes, juz let me noe, coz i wana

3 friends lived in the same flat

3 friends lived in the same flat on the 110th floor. One day the lift wasn’t working. So they had to climb the stairs.

Find the most suotable place 4 this

Find The Most Suotable Place 4 This Note "Come Like Horse.. Sit Like Thief… Go Like King…. " Nahi Pata… ???? Oki I’|| Te||

Tcher while lecturing noticed a studnt sleeping

Tcher while lecturing, noticed a studnt sleeping at th back. Tcher shouts 2 hs neighbor:”Wake him up!” Neighbor yells: U put him 2 sleep,so

Winter comes again ampamp again summer

Winter Comes ………Again & Again, Summer Comes …….Again & Again, But The Person Like You………….. Will Not Come Again, Because GOD Never Makes The

According to a research 87 of young

According to a research 87% of young people have back pain. . . . . . . . . . The other 13% have

Boy 2 girl hey if i

Boy 2 girl : Hey if i climb this coconut tree, i can see Engineering college babes. Girl : Leave both hands from there,

A doctor came to visit the patient

A doctor came to visit the patient in hospital and patient started pleading and crying, “Doc please save me, please save me!”. The patient

U r a donkey d 4

u r a donkey d 4 decent .. o 4 outclass .. n 4 nice .. k 4 kind .. e 4 excelent ..

Wife says to husbandwhat is the difference

Wife says to husband.What is the difference b/w love & ishque.Husband says love means what i do my sister & ishque means what i

Someone has kidnapped the indian cricket team

Someone has kidnapped the Indian cricket team and demanded Rs 50 crore or else he would burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have

tragedies of girls life 1

-=- TRAGEDIES OF GIRLS LIFE -=- 1- Good Boys r Not Good Looking =P … 2- Good Looking Boys r Not Good Boys =D

A lady broke a signal was

A lady broke a signal & was presentd in front of judge LADY: Ur honor plz let me go i am a school teacher

Biwi shohar se aaj ap daftar se

Biwi shohar se: aaj ap daftar se jaldi kese aa gae? Shohr: achanak mere boss ko gusa aa gaya or bola jahanum mein jao,to

If u need original tigers nail

If U Need Original Tigers Nail For Ur Chain Locket Contact Me Immediately Bcos M Cuttin My Nails 2morow. Booking Close Today…