Pathan creates a new email ID:
Pathan creates a new email ID:
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said: ‘Let’s catch a cab and in ten minutes we’ll reach our destination.’
The computer programmer said: ‘We have here the driver’s guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive.’
The computer operator said: ‘First of all, let’s turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem.’
Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: ‘Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again.’
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting ‘F1 F1’ and nobody understood it.
1 Genius Ne Bill Gates Ko Khat Likha
Mujhe Kuch Sawal Poochne Hen
Keyboard K Letters Sahi Jaga Nahi Hen, Keyboard Ka Sahi Version Kab Ayega?
Windows Me START Ka Button Hy, STOP Ka Nhi?
Hum Ms-Word Use Karte Hen, Mr-Word Kb Release Hoga?
Keyboard Me ANY KEY Ka Button Nhi to Computer Q Maangta Hy?
Aakhir Me 1 Zati Sawal
Aap Ka Naam GATES He To Aap WINDOWS Q Banaty Hain…??
The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.
The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.
The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.
Life before Computer
-Window was a square hole in a room.
-Application was something written in paper.
-Mouse was an animal.
-Keyboard was a Piano.
-File was a important office material.
-Hard Drive was a uncomfortable road trip.
-Cut was done with Knife n Paste was done with Glue.
-Web was spider’s home.
-Virus was flu.
-We couldn’t ‘UNDO’ anything we have done
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A curser used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Praying for some guarantee,
Finally I pressed a key.
But what on the screen did I see? Again ‘Abort, Retry, Ignore?’
I tried to catch the chips off guard –
I pressed again, but twice as hard,
But luck was just not on the cards, I saw what I had seen before.
Hansi ko IÃ‘BÃ–X
Anso ko Ã–UTBÃ–X
Gusay ko HÃ–LD
Muskan ko SÃ‰Ã‘T
Help ko Ã–K
Dil ko VIBRÃ„TÃ‰ kro
Phr dekho zindgi ki RIÃ‘G TÃ˜Ã‘Ã‰
kesi pyari mehsos hogi.
Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application,
create main karoonga
IT guy – (Asks worker) What do you have?
Daily Wage Construction Worker – ??.stays * quite*
IT guy – I have Money, Name, Stock Options What do
Daily Wage Construction Worker – (Softly) I have work.
Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, pehen ke evening gown
Too many requests se, ho jaata hai server down
Agr Computer System Punjabi Mai Hota To….
Welcome = Jee aya nu.
Delete= Mitti pao.
Syntax Error= Dur fitty mun.
Cntrl Alt Del= Sayappa he mukao
The eyes shine like CDs in the morning sun,
I long to have thy software in my hands.
And when you send a GIF for me to run,
I feel a sudden twitch within my glands.
How sweet our cybersex in private rooms,
You type of lust and send it over the Net.
How sad it seems when my love’s signoff looms,
I leave my mouse pad miserable and wet.
And yet I wonder on my lover’s face
I only know thee through the online chat,
And although I do not care about thy race,
Perhaps thou has the features of a rat.
But in the end your beauty matters not,
for it’s your email that gets me so hot.
And then I saw an awful sight
A bold and blinding flash of light
A lightening bolt that cut the night, and shook me to my very core.
The PC screen collapsed and died.
‘OH NO! MY DATABASE!’ I cried.
I heard a distant voice reply, ‘You’ll see your spreadsheets…nevermore!’
Tum usse debug karna. Wait main karoonga tumhaara intezaar karte karte, Main so gaya yeh dekho mera connection, time out ho gaya
Dunya ka koi b shakhs computer main
kisi file ya folder ka name ‘CON’ nahi rakh sakta.
ISki waja microsoft ko b nahi pata.
U can check.
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, ‘I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.’
The surprised salesman replies, ‘But, madam, computers do not have curtains.’
And the blonde said, ‘Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!’
Sardar: Aaj mere parrosiyon ka bacha gum ho gya..
Friend: Phir tum ne kya kiya?
Sardar: Maine un se kaha ‘google’ pr search kar lo… 🙂
Agar Computer windows
PUSHTO main hoti tu
Alt ctrl del= Takhta gene ghaim dey..
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define ‘great’ he said, ‘I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!’
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Husband : ( Returning late form work ) ?Good evening Dear, I?m now
Wife : Have you brought the ring ?
Husband : Bad command or filename.
Wife : But I told you in the morn?
Husband : Erroneous syntax.
Wife : What about my new blouse ?
Husband : Variable not found ?
Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband : Sharing Violati
a word… I have pages to tell.
Google: Enter a query… I have
unlimited ways to answer.
Internet: Without me, you both
Computer: Without me, You all
Electricity: Keep Talking… 😉
An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to ‘Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it.’
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out.
jano mujhey zong ka card do mere aur mama k sath robbery hoye hai Markeeet mein janldi i m waiting app ki sehar love u…
Ten little gigabytes, waiting on line
one caught a virus, then there were nine.
Nine little gigabytes, holding just the date,
someone jambed a write protect, then there were eight.
Eight little gigabytes, should have been eleven,
then they cut the budget, now there are seven.
Seven little gigabytes, involved in mathamatics
stored an even larger prime, now there are six.
Six little gigabytes, working like a hive,
one died of overwork, now there are five.
Five little gigabytes, trying to add more
plugged in the wrong lead, now there are four.
Four little gigabytes, failing frequently,
one used for spare parts, now there are three.
Three little gigabytes, have too much to do
service man on holiday, now there are two.
Two little gigabytes, badly over run,
took the work elsewhere, now just need one.
One little gigabyte, systems far too small
shut the whole thing down, now there’s none at all.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a back up happened to your commode.
Typing with a steady hand,
I then invoked the ‘save’ command
But got instead a reprimand: it read, ‘Abort, Retry, Ignore?’
Was this some occult illusion?
Some manacal type intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
Agr apko computer main urdu word ya aur kese symble ki zarorat ho to
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bites.
I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens, they’ll wish they were dead.
First man: You know, I hear Microsoft is going to start making Condoms.
Second man: That gives a whole new meaning to the words, â€œGeneral Protection Fault.â€
Corruption has spread to every corner in Pakistan.
Even my computer says:
‘some files are corrupt.’ 😉
‘Raat Uss ne Poocha tha
Tum ko Kaisi Lagti Hai
Chandni DECEMBER ki !
Main ne Kehna Chaha Tha:
Saal-o-Maah k Baarey mein
Guftagu k Kya Maani ?
Chahey koi Manzar ho
Dasht ho , Samandar ho
June ho , December ho
Dharkano’n ka Har Naghma
Manzaro’n pe Bhaari hai
Saath Jab Tumhara Ho
Dil ko Ik Sahara ho
Aisa Lagta hai,jaise
Ik Nasha sa Taari hai
Lekin Uss ki Qurbat mein
Kuch Nahi Kaha Main ne
Takti Reh gayi Mujh ko
Chandni December ki???M?E??’
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke, I donâ€™t like your face
Par dil ke computer mein, nahin hai enough disk space
Programmer to his son: ‘Here, I brought you a new basketball.’
Son: ‘Thank you, daddy, but where is the user’s guide?’
Tum usse debug karna. Wait main karoonga tumhaara intezaar karte karte,
Main so gaya yeh dekho mera connection, time out ho gaya
Now I typed in desperation
Trying random combinations.
Still there came the incantation ‘Abort, Retry, Ignore.’
There I sat, distraught, exhausted,
By my own machine accosted
getting up, I turned away and paced across the office floor.
Reading the net is like trying to drink from a firehose. Posting to the net is like shouting at people as they go past on a roller coaster. Archiving the net is like washing toilet paper.
if u r in any problem of computer hard ware and soft ware then contact me aur e-mail me …
The most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language will not succeed without a good name.
I have recently invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language.
Agar ap ye dekhna chahte hain k ap se pehly computer pr kisi ne kya open kiya tha,
to go to run And
type ‘recent’ And hit Enter
Owed to the Spelling Checker
I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it’s weigh
My checker tolled me sew.
The National Anthem of Windows Nation
In honor of the new Windows Flag above the corporate campus:
OLE can you C, by the fonts of TrueType,
What so proudly we mailed to our users upgrading?
Whose class libs and tool bars, through the marketing hype,
Four meg RAM cards they’d bought, final beta awaiting.
And the testers declare, fix the bugs on the share,
Codeview’d every byte of our way cool software.
Oh, say does that user friendly icon yet wave
O’er the land of the GUI,
and the Windows of the brave.
To this day I do not know
The place to which our data goes.
perhaps it goes to heaven, where the angels have it stored.
But as for Productivity, well,
I fear this has gone straight to Hell.
And that’s the tale I have to tell – your choice: Abort, Retry, Ignore.
Ab Numeric Keys Se Alphabet Type Krein
Ka Button Press Kr K 65 se 90 Tak Key Press Krein
Capital Alphabet Mein Likhay Ga (ABC…..Z)
Small Letters K Liye 97 se 122 Tak Keys Press Krein (abc…..z) .
The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public
You’d be in jail for awhile.
…Own Your Own Successful Business!
Do you have the drive and determination to succeed?
You are not experienced.
We will train you.
Join us & take a first step to your success
Information you get from the IMEI (International Mobile Equipment Identity)
XXXXXX XX XXXXXX X
TAC FAC SNR SP
TAC = Type approval code of your nokia Mobile
FAC = Final assembly code of your cellphone
SNR = Serial number of your nokia Phone
SP = Spare
Trick to use Free Jazz Internet both on PC and Mobile.100% working trick by PKMOBILES123.This trick is used and verified by most of visitors (Click read more for full details)
USER NAME: mobilink
HOME PAGE: https:// blockablock.com
PROXY SERVER ADDRESS: 172.024.097.029
PROXY PORT: 8080
Open task manager click on shut down option hold Alt+ctrl+del now click on shut down.
Pc will be shut down in 1 second
The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers. However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being… a little strange.
While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another:’The odds are good, but the goods are odd.’
Ek programmer larki ki galian ,
Saley kisi corrupt windows k pedaishi virus..!
O hard disk k toote huye cluster . .!
Recycle bin ki purani deleted file. .!
Oh c++ k ese function js ki header files hi ni hoti. . !
Ksi program mein memory leakage. !
Ksi logical error ki pedawar. . !
Declare kiye begair use kiye huye integer .
Pirated software ki nasal.
Chal apni dangling pointer jesi shakal le kr nikal yahan se!
vist our site
They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, ‘Where is my father?’
The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with ‘Your father is fishing in Michigan.’
The skeptical man said triumphantly, ‘You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years.’
‘No’, replied the super computer immediately. ‘Your mother’s husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout.’
Cut you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider’s home
And a virus was the flu.
Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.
They reach Ramgad and started shouting: ?Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya ?.
Thakur [with anger]: ?Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai.?
Carefully I weighed my options…
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly I must now adopt one; choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore?
With my fingers pale and trembling
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored
A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.
When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a ‘Keyboard Error’ message.
She then asks ‘Why did it give me a keyboard error?
There isn’t even a keyboard attached?
Is Window A virus?
1. Viruses replicate quickly.
Windows does this.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so.
Windows does this.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk.
Windows does this.
4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems.
Windows does that too.
5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware.
Same with Windows, yet again.
Maybe Windows really is a virus.
Nope! There is a difference!
Viruses are well supported by their authors, are frequently updated, and tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So there! Windows is not a virus.
Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found!
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule
The checker pour o’er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Height of technical overdose…
A computer student falling from the roof of a building
F1 F1 F1 instead of help- help-help 😛
Posted by: Adam, November 27, 11:49am
Ek Pathan Mobile Company Main Job K Liye Gaya:
1st Ques K Answer Pe He Usay Maar K Bhaga Diya Gaya.
Ques: Which Is The Most Popular Network.
A sample of Kannada movies produced by Kannada Software Engineers:
â€¢ CHATsod tappa..?
â€¢ Ondu E-MAILina kathe
â€¢ A.S.P Sangilyana
â€¢ REDO raja
â€¢ UNDOnu maadida DELEToo maadida
â€¢ Muttinantha OFFER
â€¢ Naanu nanna PC
â€¢ DOLLLAR alegalu
â€¢ JAVAda Jodi
â€¢ CORBAna rani
â€¢ IT Hudugara kannu US myaage
â€¢ CHAT maadu Tamaashe Nodu
â€¢ Chalisuva BRAINugal
Tell Me Computer Mouse Is Male Or Female?
The Mouse Is
She Uses The Pad….!
Once upon a midnight dreary,
Fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat here doing spreadsheets:
Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer.
This customer comes into the computer store. ‘I’m looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging.’
‘Well,’ replied the clerk, ‘Have you tried Windows 98?’