Iiffa awards nominees for best singers are

Iiffa awards nominees for best singers are: 😉

Mika singh

song: dhinka chika dhinka chika (Ready)

Rahat Fateh Ali

song: Rabba mein to mar gaya re (Mausam)

Rahat Fateh Ali

song: Teri Meri Prem Kahani (Bodyguard)

And the winner is

Altaf Hussain

Song: burqay me rehne do burqa na uthao (London)

Londn mein raheny do london se na

Londön mein raheny do london se na nekalo…

London se jo nekalogy to Liyari waly kuty ki maut marengay…

Mirza meri tauba….

Mirza meri tauba….

.

(new song by

Altaf Madaari)

Munna bhai aby sarkityeh bata agar

MUNNA BHAI:

Aby Sarkit:’Yeh Bata, Agar Bina Danton Ka Kutta Kat Le To Kia Karny Ka?

SARKIT :

Simple Bhai.

‘Bina Sui K 14 Injections Lagane Ka…simple

Dont e angry like that my love

Don’t ße angry like that my Love,

One day u must leave the world my Love.

Nahi samjy..?

Aven Russya na kr meri jaan sajna,

Ik din chad jana ay jhaan sajna..

In case there is a breakoff between

In case there is a breakoff between Saif and Kareena, he will have his tattoo changed to

guess wot guyz

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

KAMEENA……………………

breaking news sunny leone jism

!~! Breaking News !~!

‘Sunny Leone’ ‘JISM 2’

Ke Liye Hindi Seekh rahi Hain.. 😀

Unhe Lag raha hai ke ‘Mahesh Bhatt Ji’

Un sey Dialogue Bulwayeinge.. B-)

Mvies f cllg life clssesbrdsht attendceher

‘Mövies Öf Cöllègé Life,

(Clässes)=Bärdäsht

(Attendäce)=Herä Pheri

(Cläss RoOm)=Nö Entry

(Teächer)=Jäni Dushman

(Exäm)=Evil Deåd

(Exäminer)=DÖn

(Fri

(Qüestion Päper)=Ek Päheli

(Answer Päper)=Körä Käghäz

(Resült)=Sädmä

(Päss)=Çhämätkär

(Fail)=Devdäs

(Fütüre)=Fännä

(VäcätiÖn)=Mästi.iend Düring Päper)=Hüm Aäpke Hain Kaün?

(Vivä)=EncÖünter

(Cöürse)=Gödzillä

(Märking)=Andhä QänÖön

(Exäm Time)=Qäyämät

(Çheäting)=Läge RähÖ Münnä Bha’

Pani me gira rumal to gila hai

Pani Me Gira Rumal To Rumal Gila Hai..

Asman Me Dekha To Asman B Nila Hai…

Muhabat to Sub Krte Hai Par,,,

.

.

Me KaruUU to Salaaaa Charctar DHeela Hai…*?

What to we learn from movies like

What to we learn from movies like Om Shanti Om and Ra-one?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

That it takes two Shahrukh khans to kill one Arjun Rampal..!..:p

Iifa awards 2011 nominees song are

iifa awards 2011 nominees song are:

Mika singh

Song : dhinka chika dhinka chika

Sonu nigam

Song: All iz well

Sunidhi chohan

Song: shela ki jawani

And the winner is . . . . .

Altaf hussain

Song: burqay me rehne do burqa na uthao:-P

Wife india jao to banarsi sari bejna

Wife: India jao to banarsi sari bejna,

Dubai jao to Jewelry

France jao to Perfume

Husband ne jal k kaha or dozakh jaun to kya bhejun?

Wife: Imran Hashmi

Sholay ki team ne ipl mein hissa

Sholay ki Team ne IPL mein hissa liya

Gabber k Bowlers ne 20 over me 350 Run diye & us mein 200 Runs Extra thay.

Btao Q

Q K

.

Wicket keeper Thakur tha.

Amir khan ki har film mein koi

Amir Khan Ki Har Film

Mein Koi Na Koi Message Hota Hai Per

Ghajini Dekh K Ap Ko Kya Msg Milta Hai???

Simple

Ganja Bhi Maang Nikal Sakta He

Filmi madical reps veer jahan bhi

Filmi madical reps

‘VEER’

jahan bhi hath dalu 20000 ke sale nikal leta hu

‘WANTED’

Ek Baar Jo Mene ‘Sale’ Krna Shuru Kr Di to

uske baad to Mai Apni ‘adjustment’ Ki Bhi Nhi sochta

‘DABBANG’

Hum tumhare area me itna maal phaikai gai k confuse ho jaoge k konsa consume karna hai or konsa phaikna hai

‘READY’

Sales ke Duniya me 3 chezao ko kabi undersetemate mat karna

party,whole saler,and kachi gali

‘BODY-GUARD’

Mujh par ek ehsaan krna k mujai apni party ka number mat dena.

Enjoy all medical rep just like salman Khan.

Once rajnikant donated blood to a very

Once Rajnikant Donated blood to a very small, sick and thin child.,

Today that child is known as ‘The Great Khali’.

————————–

My cell phone is full of Rajnikanth messages

And now I don’t need a charger.

rajni sentences the judge in court

-Rajni sentences the judge in the court

– He can declare the third umpire out !

– He can red-card a soccer match referee.

————————–

spelling of rajnikant is ‘Rajnikant’ because there is nothing like Rajni Can’t

————————–

Sufi banaspati jo naam hai aitamad ka

SUFI BANASPATI

jo naam hai aitamad ka,

MUNNI ko cooking ka shoq hua,

Mama le aai Sufi,

Sufi pe aitamad jo tha,

Subah uthi to na MUNNI thi na SUFI,

Sufi pe aitamad jo tha,

3 saal bad wapas ayi to sath mein Habib,

kosar

or

Sultan bhi tha.

Aur karo Sufi pe aitamad!

Kr di na MUNni

badnam:

Tv host to meera should woman

Tv Host to Meera:

Should Woman have Children after 35?? . .

Meera:

No,

I Think 35 Children are Enough,, . . . .

Ballay o Tari English.. :

why did rajani buy an acre

* WHY DID RAJANI BUY AN ACRE OF LAND WTH 4 WELLS ON EACH CORNER?????

………………….. TO PLAY CARROM!!!!!!

Ek mandir tha jisme buri niyat wale

Ek mandir tha

jisme buri niyat wale gayab ho jate

the

Imran hashmi gaya

Imran gayab

salman khan

gaya

salman gayab

veena malik gai

Bhagwan gayeb:)

Hum me hai hero dear

‘Hum Me Hai Hero’

.

.

.

.

Dear

Himesh Reshamiya

The Above Line Was Not To Be Taken Seriously… :D…

Agr police waly film bnana shuru kr

Agr Police waly film bnana shuru kr den to film k name is tarah hon gy.

Hindi films name….

Rawangi Ho Na Ho,

Kaho Na weekend Hai,

Hum transfer (tabdla) krwa chuky Snam,

Aaj Mere Yaar Ki peshi Hai,

Kash Ap Hamare munshi Hote,

Dil wale daak ly jain gay,

Sahab to pagal hai,

Humara goshwara Aap K Pass Hai,

Kabhi RPO Kahbi CPO,

Gair hazir To Hona Hi tha.

SHO apna apna.

Ye rastay hain passing out k.

Thana ho to aisa.

Munnabhai circut ye doctr opration ke

MUNNABHAI : CIRCUT Ye Doctr Opration ke Waqt Mriz ko Behosh Q krte He ?

CIRCUT : ‘ Bhai Bole To Agr Mriz Opration Sikh Gaya To Doctr ki to WATT Lag Jayegi…!

Question who will go to

Question –

Who will go to watch Ra.One twice?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Answer –

No.One 😛

Ek mandi men koi bhi gunha gar

ek mandi men koi bhi gunha gar afrad jata ghib ho jata akshe gaya ghib salman gaya gahib amir gaya gahib katrina keaf gai phgwan gahib

Kitne bhartiyon ko lagta hy k

Kitne % bhartiyon ko lagta hy k Salman Khan,

Katrina Kaif se Shadi Karega?

Ans: 10%

bcoz

.

.

.

.

.

Rest of the 90% wants to marry Katrina Kaif themselves =P

Wat will u call mrbean when he

wat will u call mr.bean when he is sleeping

guess

guess abhe soch yaar

kya yaar abhi tak nahi socha

U will call him soya-bean

Once rakhi sawant goes to lic office

Once Rakhi Sawant Goes To LIC Office.

Rakhi Mujhe Apni Body Ka Insurance Karna Hai.

Officer- Sorry Madam Hum

Public Property Per Insurance Nahi Karte.

Salmaan khan aaj mere baap k pas

Salmaan Khan- Aaj Mere Baap K Pas 14 Cars Hai

18 Bikes Hai,

4 Bunglow Hai,

3 Farmhouse Hai,

Tumhare Paas Kya Hai?

Abhishek Bachan Mere Paas Teri Lover Hai

London me rehne do london se

‘London me rehne do

London se na nikalo

London se jo nikla to

me mar jaonga

Mirza meri tauba

Mirza meri tauba

New Song by

Altaf Hussain

My body and heart is very thirsty

‘My body and heart is very thirsty

O my beloved by your love’

Samajh ayi?

Nahi,

Profesar NASEEBO LAL explain it

Mera tan man pyasa

Channa ve tere pyaar da.

:-DB-);-)

Teacher to 1 clas student chalo beta

Teacher to 1 clas student: chalo beta ye line 2 lafzon main bol kar dikhao

‘Teacher main aap se pyar karta hon’

Student:

sorry miss.

Teri meri meri teri prem kahani hy mushkil,

2 lafzon main ye bayan na ho paye.

Why does waheda reham never changes his

Why does Waheda Reham never changes his sariee in the film GUIDE?

Cos dev anand says!o mere hamrahi,meri baanh thame chalna!

Badle duniya saree tum na badlna!

If hollywood movies were made in punjabwood

If Hollywood movies were made in PUNJABwood.

Jurrasic Park: Dinasour da raula.

Spiderman: Jaaley wala Gujjar.

Superman: Udd-da Malik

Terminator: Lohe da Butt, kadd de watt..

Charlie’s Angels: Jattinyan kamaal kardiyaan.

Baby’s day out:

Arainyaan da kaka,

paave syaapa.:-D:-D:-D

Aapne ab tak sholay movie kitni bar

Aapne Ab Tak Sholay Movie Kitni Bar Dekhi Ha ? ?

5 Baar

4 Baar

3 Baar ?

Chaloo 2 Baar Hi Dekhi Ho Gi. . . .

Tou Is Question Ko Sochna Phir Answer Dena. . .

Ok? ? ?

Who Played Double Role In Film Sholay?

Think

Think

Think

Answer Is :

” King George ”

Jo Amitabh K Sikkay K Dono Baju Par Tha :p

Aisi zindagi ho ge har taraf khusi

aisi zindagi ho ge

har taraf khusi ho ge

itna pyaar do ga tujhay ae meray sanam

ab na koi gham ho ga

na yeh pyaar kam ho ga

saathi meray mujh ko teray sir ki hai kasam

ek doojay ko aazmaana hai

had say guzar jana hai

Mvies f cllg life clssesbrdsht attendceher

Mövies Öf Cöllègé Life,

(Clässes)=Bärdäsht

(Attendäce)=Herä Pheri

(Cläss RoOm)=Nö Entry

(Teächer)=Jäni Dushman

(Exäm)=Evil Deåd

(Exäminer)=DÖn

(Fri

(Qüestion Päper)=Ek Päheli

(Answer Päper)=Körä Käghäz

(Resült)=Sädmä

(Päss)=Çhämätkär

(Fail)=Devdäs

(Fütüre)=Fännä

(VäcätiÖn)=Mästi.iend Düring Päper)=Hüm Aäpke Hain Kaün?

(Vivä)=EncÖünter

(Cöürse)=Gödzillä

(Märking)=Andhä QänÖön

(Exäm Time)=Qäyämät

(Çheäting)=Läge RähÖ Münnä Bha

Veer jaha b msg krunga 5 10 ek

‘VEER’

Jaha b msg krunga 5-10 msg ek sath bhej dunga

‘WANTED’

Ek Baar Jo Mene ‘SMS’ Krna Shuru Kr Diya TO

uske baad to Mai Apne ‘BALANCE’ Ki B Nh sochta..

‘DABBANG’

Hum tumhare mobile me itne SMS krenge ki confuse ho jaoge ki konsa padhe or konsa delete kre.

‘READY’

Duniya me tumhe sab se zyada msg sirf 3 log karenge:

I, Me, & Myself..

‘BODY-GUARD’

Mujh pr ek ehsaan krna mere msg mujhe Resend naa krna…!!

Devdas of 2011 maa ne kaha

DEVDAS Of 2011..

Maa Ne Kaha Facebook pa bthna Chor Do.

Abba Ne Kaha Night Package karna Chor Do.

Doston Ne Kaha Mobile Se Balance Churana Chor Do.

Paaro Ne Kaha Dew Peena Choor Do..

Aur

Aik Din Aayega Jab Girl Frnd K Bachy Bolengy.

Maamu Ab To Hamari Ammi Ka Peecha Choor Do

Media 2 rakhi sawant aap kitni padhi

Media 2 Rakhi Sawant: Aap kitni Padhi Likhi hain??

Rakhi: Jyada nahi..?

Media: Phir bhi??

Rakhi (Sharmate hue) Aap bhi na…!! Bas, INTER-COURSE kiya hai..!!;)

Sameer soomro dabangg 1 bacha dabang film

SaMeer SooMro

DABANGG…!!!!

1 Bacha Dabang film dekh kr

aya….!

School mein sir:

Tumhare saare ans galat hain

marks dain to kahan se?

… Bacha:

KAMAL KARTE HaiN MASTER JI…

MARKS HE TO MANG RAHE HAIN,

CHUP CHAP DE DO WARNA THAPAR

MAAR K BHI LE SAKTE HAIN

Sir:

Begairat

Bacha:

BEGAIRAT SE YAAD AAYA

AAP K PAPA KAISE HAIN?

Sir:

Nikal ja meri class se

Bacha:

CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO

WARNA ANS SHEET ME ITNE CHED

KARENGE K CONFUJE HO JAOGE K

MARKS KAHAN DEIN OR ZERO

KAHAN DAIN!…:) 😀

1 actress dukhi lehje main apni saheli

1 Actress Dukhi Lehje Main Apni Saheli Se :

Yeh Mard Kitni Jaldi Badal Jatey Hein

Kal Tak Chaudhry Sahab Mujhe Itne Ache Lagte Itne Pyare Lagte They K Kia Btao?

Magr Ab Un ki Shakal Dekhne ko Dil Nahi

Athan to imran hashmi tum buht jhota

athan To Imran Hashmi

Tum Buht Jhota Hai

Imran Hashmi : Kiun ?

Pathan : Kitni Baar Bola Aik Baar Aja Aja Aja Aaja

Hum Teen Baar Aya Par Tum Hum Ko Milta Nahi

Bhakt meri shadi aishwarya se karva do

Bhakt: Meri Shadi Aishwarya Se Karva Do

Bhagwan: Aishwarya Ki Ek Saari 1 Lakh Ki Hai Kharch Utha Paoge

Bhakt: Bhagwaan Koi Upai Bataye

Bhagwan: Mallika Sherawat

The pyramids in egypt are actually

THE PYRAMIDS IN EGYPT ARE ACTUALLY……………………………

………. RAJANIKANTHS PRIMARY SCHOOL CRAFT PROJECTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

* BREAKING NEWS:

NASA DOES NOT EXISTS ANYMORE…..!!

RAJANIKANTH PURCHASED ALL THE ROCKETS FOR DIWALI CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beti maa gaon me bollywood wale aye

Beti:

Maa GAON Me Bollywood Wale Aye Hen

Maa:

Andar Aja Inki Niyat Boht Khrab Hoti Hy

Beti:

Maa Imran Hashmi B Aya Hy

Maa:

Phir To Bakri Ko Bhi Andar Le Aa!

Log khte ha pyr itna b

Log khte ha,

pyr itna b mt kro k girlfrnd sar pe sawar ho jy

hm khte ha k pyr itna kro k girlfrnd ki frnd b

tumhare sath Farar ho jay

Lesson of bodygaurd

India me ik new canima khula jis

India me ik new canima khula jis ka naam

‘GHANDHI KI DHOTI’

Rakha gaya,

Jb koi new film ati to uska poster kuch is tarha parha jata.

Ghandhi ki dhoti me spider man.

Ghandhi ki dhoti me kuch kuch hota hai,

Ghandhi ki dhoti me halchal,

Ghandhi ki dhoti me phr hera pheri.

Ghandhi ki dhoti me dil waly duluhnya le jain gy,

Ghandhi ki dhoti me india,

Ghamdhi ki dhoti me 3 idiots.

Ghandhi ki dhoti me ajab prem ki gazab kahani,

Ghandhi ki dhoti me Aag.

Ghandhi ki dhoti me likh kr koi film ka nam lo or mazy kro

Rajni doesnt find bugs in any code

Rajni doesn’t find bugs in any code, because ‘Bugs’ come to watch his movie & they’re caught.. J

They have found ‘Bugs’ in Da Vinci code in similar fashion.. J

————————–

Rajnikantcan make his girlfriend admit her mistake!..

Rajnikant can answer THE question “Do I Look Fat in this??…

Rajnikant can answer THE question How much do you love me??

Agar doctors filme banate to un filmo

Agar Doctors filme banate To un filmo k naam ye hote…

X-Ray Ho Na Ho,

Kaho Na Bukhar Hy,

Hum Blood De Chuke Sanam,

Mere Yaar Ka Operation Hai,

Kaash Ap Humare Patient Hote,

Mein Dettol Ki Deewani Hoon,

Hamara Thermometer Ap K Pass Hai,

Kabhi Drip Kabhi Injection,

Zukaam To Hona Hi Tha:-P

Munna bhai aby sarkit yeh bata ager

MUNNA BHAI:

Aby sarkit: yeh bata, ager bina danton ka kutta kat le to kia karny ka?

SARKIT: Simple bhai. bina sui k 14 injections lagwany ka or kia?

Aapne ab tak sholay movie kitni bar

Aapne Ab Tak Sholay Movie Kitni Bar Dekhi Ha ? ?

5 Baar

4 Baar

3 Baar ?

Chaloo 2 Baar Hi Dekhi Ho Gi. . . .

Tou Is Question Ko Sochna Phir Answer Dena. . .

Ok? ? ?

Who Played Double Role In Film Sholay?

Think

Think

Think

Answer Is :

” King George ”

Jo Amitabh K Sikkay K Dono Baju Par Tha :p

Ronaldo meny agr football ko laat mari

Ronaldo:

Meny agr football ko laat mari tow wo 3 months tak gol ghumti rhegi.

Rajnikant:

Yanna Raskalla!

Tmko pata hai duniya abhi tak gol Q ghum rhi Hai? :D;)

Once amitabh bachchan and pran were travelling

Once Amitabh Bachchan and Pran were travelling in a train and were engaged in a good gossip for the entire journey. A station came after hours and Pran boarded off. Mr. Bachchan remained. A stranger co-passenger asked to Mr. Bachchan, “Both of you seemed good friend, why didn’t you go away with him.” Amitabh said, “Pran jae per Vachan na jae.”

Nehru sir gandhi and singh went to

Nehru sir ,Gandhi sir and singh sir went to america to attend a seminar after completing it they had a dinner.at that party Nehru just joked ‘every thing is nice have some rice’ all the delegates claped and our gandhi told’everyone are fine have some wine ‘again all of them claped at last our singh sir just thinking what to tell he told’U BASTARD HAVE SOME CUSTURD’

Main chaah kr bhi usey doobney se

Main Chaah kr Bhi Usey DooBNey se BaCcha Na Saka aey viki

.

Kyu k Usne mjhe khud he kaha tha k

.

.

.

Mjh pr 1 Ehsan krna k,,

Mjh pr koi Ehsan NA krna..;

Theres nothing rajni can do when

There’s Nothing Rajni Can Do

When you say ‘no one’s perfect’, Rajinikanth takes this as a personal insult.

There is nothing like recession, its just rajnikanth started to save money.

Facebook movies names 1 jab we

FACEBOOK MOVIES NAMES.

1- Jab We Chat.. =x

2- Namaste facebook.. =P

3- Hum Aapke Hain Mutual friend.. =4- 7 Gaali Maaf.. =$

5- Hum Like kar Chuke Sanam.. ?

6- Kabhi Relationship, Kabhi Single.. =|

7- Main Ne POKE Kyn kiya ?!? =$

8- Mujhse FRIENDSHIP Karoge.. =D

9- Mere Brother Ki Profile.. =)

10-Login Kiya To Derna Kiya =p

Rajinikant got his driving license at the

Rajinikant got his driving license at the age of 16 seconds

————————–

Rajnikanth can see himself sleeping..

————————–

And….

And….

And….

The “Rajnikant” award goes to OSCAR!!!

————————–

Amitabh aaj mere paas rocket hai

Amitabh – Aaj mere paas

Rocket hai …..

Phatake hai …..

Phuljhadi hai …..

Anar hai aur …..

Atom bomb bhi haiiin …..

tumhare paas kya hai?

Shashi –

Bhaaaaaai mere paas MAAA CHIS hai…..

SMS# 368641

(”,)____//_

(‘,’)/

( )

/

(‘ ,’)

(;) ;

/ (”,)____//_

Dazz

mje bori m pek krny aya tha

Janta nae kon hun m

‘BodyGUARD’b

Theres nothing rajni cant do rajinikanth

There’s Nothing Rajni Can’t Do

Rajinikanth makes onions cry.

Rajinikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajinikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Himesh reshamiya ka kutta ghar se baagh

Himesh Reshamiya Ka Kutta Ghar Se Baagh Giya

Dosray Kutton Ne Pocha:

Yaar Tu Q Bhaag Giya Wahan Se?”

Us Ne Kaha

Kia Btao Yaaroo…

Raat Ko Gata To Woh Tah..

Or Subah Maar Mojhe Perti Thi

Reporter meera gi ham ny suna hai

Reporter:

Meera gi ham ny suna hai k aap cigrette peti hai . . . . . .

Meera:

Ooh my gaaad,

aff course,

ap ny bilkul ghalat suna hai i don’t drink cigrette.

Gabbar ye hath mujy dede thakur

Gabbar: Ye hath mujy dede thakur

Thakur: Le le

Basanti k b lele,

J or Viru k b lele,

Octopus ban ja kutte!

Gabar: Sory yar thakur Tu to mind kr gaya…!