Adult SMS – SMSJan

Beautiful delivery

Teacher:Shoaib Akhtar is male or female?
Student:Female
Teacher: How?
Student: Just now commentator told “Beautiful delivery by Shoaib Akhtar

Wife? to kiya wo tum nahi thay

new marrige cuple train se jate hoe surng se guzry

HASBAND: ager pata hota k itni lambi surang hai to mai is ka faida otha leta

Wife? to kiya wo tum nahi thay

Woy yaara!

1 pathan ko khali msg aaya
Pathan ne usi mobile number per call ker k kaha
!
!
!
!
Woy yaara!
Tumko malum hay?
tumhara mobile ki siyahi
khatam ho gaya hy!!!

Tumhary pass fun kay liye sab kuch hay

phuddi ,mummay , hount kuch bhi nahi

chudai ek fun kay siwa kuch bhi nahi

tumhary pass fun kay liye sab kuch hay

humaray pass lund kay siwa kuch bhi nahi

Magar chuppay laganay may kamal rakhta tha

ajeb gando tha ajeb mizaj rakhta tha

shalwar utarnay say pehlay tail laga kay rakhta tha

waisay tu kehta tha “i hate lund“

magar chuppay laganay may kamal rakhta tha

Dhamkiya SMS# 175

Sardar: Mujhe Phone per Dhamkiya Mil Rahi hain
Police: Kaun hai woh?
Sardar: BSNL wale bolte hain k Bill na Bhara to
“Kaat Denge”

My number has been changed.

My number has been changed.
So plz call me onmy new number:-

Agar maira nokar uthaye to usko 2,4 suna dena wo apneaap ko police wala kehta hai…

In a party a lady wanted

In a party a lady wanted
to go to Toilet so
She inquired with a Sardar and asked him,
SardarJi SuSu karne ki jagah dikhao,

Sardarji replied you naughty Girl!
Pehle tum Dikhao.

Koi Acha Sa Sms Reply Na Kery

Ja “Sms” Ja Mere Piyary Dost Ke Pass Ja
Ager Wo Bessy Ho To Ruk Jan
Or “Ager” Free Ho To Un Ke Gand Main Ghus Jana
Or Tub Tak Hillty Rehna Jub Tak Wo Mujhy
Koi Acha Sa Sms Reply Na Kery

Kon Kehta hay K Hum Me Judai Ho Gi

Yeh Afvah Kisi Maderchod Ne Phelaye ho gi

Hum to Rahenge Ap ki gand Ma ghus Ker

Umeed hay Itni Jaga To Ap ne Banaye Ho Gi

Admi: sir mulzim ki bivi ka mamma:)

judge admi say :jab mulzim nay tum per qatilana hamla kia uss waqt tumharay hath may kia tha ?
admi: sir mulzim ki bivi ka mamma:)

Insurance policy ka Numaynda : Sardar je App Policy lain, app k Bachoon ko pesay milein gay
Sardar : Agar bachey Naa Hoon To
App ki B.V ko
agar B.V na Hoo to
App k Maa Baap Ko
Agar Maa Baap bhi Naa Ho to
APp k Behan bahiyon ko
Sardar : koi iesi policy Nahi Jiss say muje Pesa Miley
Numaynda : App Ko Nahi Mil Sakte
Sardar : ye To policy Naa hoi
BEhan Da Puda Hua Joo Main Nahi Le Sakta Baqi Sab ley Sakte Hai……

And Like ME

Sex Is Like NOKIA (Connecting People)
Like NIKE (Just Do It)
Like PEPSI (Ask For More)
Like SAMSUNG (Everyone Is Invited)
And Like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)

The Music Stops.

Never Dance Naked
Because The Body Has Parts
That Do Not Stop Moving When
The Music Stops.

Barrish Ho Aur Zameen Gilli Na Ho

Barrish Ho Aur Zameen Gilli Na Ho
Dhup Niklay Aur Surso Pilli Na Ho
To Phir App Nay Yeh Kasay Soch Liya Kay
Neend May Ap Ki Yaad Ahay Aur Shalwar Gili Na Ho

What is the definition of “burning love”?

Que. What is the definition of “burning love”?

Ans. It’s when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks Vaporub by mistake

Ye Meri Shalwar Mein Kya

Ye Meri Shalwar Mein Kya Horhaa Hai Chota Sa Kuch Bara Ho Raha Hai Waise To Ye Bara Shareef Hai Tumhare Ehtaram Mein Khara Ho Raha Hai …

Yar meri biwi

Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend : Acha wo kaise?

Sardar : Yar kal wo bathtub
mai bhi security guard k sath thi…

Bye ; SMS# 1279

Plz note my new number of ZONG (China Tel) now send ur sms and call at this new number….

§€^¿ ¥#¿>€~ø

Bye ;->

Aik Lerka Lerki Say:

Aik Lerka Lerki Say: May Kunvari Lerkiyoo Say Sex Nahi Kerta
Lerki : Vo Kiyoo
Lerka : Kyoon K Mujhay Khoon Kharaba Pasand Nahi Hai

A Teacher Ask

“Wot Part Of The Body Goes To Heaven First?”

A Child Replies”Feet

Coz Every Nite I C My Mum

With Her Feet In The Air Screamin God I’m Comin

3 Facts Of Life:

3 Facts Of Life:
Ghareeb Aur Boobs Hamesha Dabte Hai.
Musibat Aur Penis Kabhi Bhi Khade Ho Jate Hai.
Kismat Aur Bra Kabhi Bhi Khul Sakti Hai

A man made a call to hospital

A man made a call to hospital to Enquire aboutt his Pregnent Wife

But the call went to a cricket stadium

He asked what is the condition

He died after what he heard…

“7 Are already out
3 More will be out hopefully by lunch
The first one was a duck…!!!”

Eik Sardar Ki Suhag Raat Thi…

Eik Sardar Ki Suhag Raat Thi…Sardar Apni Bevi Kay Pechay Dalnay Laga To Wo
Boli ….Na Na Sardar Jee Pechay Nahi Agay
Sardar Bola Tumhain Kaisay Pata Hai
Bevi Boli…Mera Boy Friend Meray Agay Dalta Tha
Sardar Bola…Acha…Par Mera Boy Friend To Meray Pechay Dalta Tha…

Hot-Sex SMS# 580

There Is
Hot-Sex
Fast-Sex
Group-Sex
Safe-Sex
Leather-Sex
Telephone-Sex
nd For People With Your Face …
No Sex !

Kaysa zamana a gia hay

Kaysa zamana a gia hay
“ JAZZ “
walon nay to had he kar de,
Baray baray postron maan ik larki dekhatay haan or lekhtay haan

“ Lagay Raho Raat Bhar Sirf 99 Paisay maan. “

What’s the difference between

Que. What’s the difference between biology and sociology?

Ans. When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology

Girls ar best vehicles:

Girls ar best vehicles:
Front 2 Horns.
Back 2 Bumpers.
Self Lubricant When Hot.
Monthly Automatic Oil Change.
Highest Mileage of 9 Mnth

SOOPER Biscuits

SOOPER Biscuits
Mama to Daughter: Beta kaisi ho?
Daughter: sooper mama
Mama:Chest kaisi hai?
Daughter: sooper mama
Mama: or GAND
Daughter:Woh to hay hi SOOPER
Mama: Beta pata hai hum nay tumharee mangni PATHAN say tay kar dee hai.
Daughter: sooper mama, hoon…kya??? pathan hai? Please aisa na
karain ,wo sirf gand maray ga.Aap nani kaisay bano ge..

Kutte ke bacche ne uski ma se pucha,

Kutte ke bacche ne uski ma se pucha,
“Maa mere pitaji kaise the?”
Maa boli, “Pata nahi beta, Piche se aaye the, aur piche se hi chale gaye!”

Hyderabad hardcore humpers

like IPL if there was an ISL (indan sex league) the names of teams would be something like

1)hyderabad hardcore humpers

2)chennai super dicks

3)kolkata night fuckers

4)rajhistan pussies

5)punjab rammers

6)mumbai lesbians

7)dehli daredrillers

and the all time favorates
8)banglore royal strippers

shama pe chala muqadma

shama pe chala muqadma parwany k khon ka
pocha geya shama sy kiyon kia khon masoom ka
keny lagi shama parwana jawani k josh main jhoom raha tha
mere agy pichy ghom raha tha
khon na karti to kiya karti bhari mehfil main mujhy chom raha THA

JAB TUM KAPrE UTARO

kaash main tumhe dekho

JAB TUM KAPDE UTARO

jo dale the chat pe sukhane ke liye

AUR TUM APNE HATH MEIN PAKDO MERA

hath or kaho

MAIN TUMHARE LIYE KHOL KE BAITHI HUN

apna dil

AB TO LE LO MERI

har khushi

OR MUJHE DEDO APNA

har gam

FIR MAIN KHOLU TUMHARI

aankhen or kahu

DEKHO KITNA BADA HAI

mera
dil…

Ak16 sal ka ladka mar gya.

Ak16 sal ka ladka mar gya.
Ma said-Haye mere bache ne to abhi dunya b nahi dekhi thi.
a girl-aunti chinta mat karo mai ne dikha di thi

A girl who opens

A girl who opens her hands receives gifts,
who opens her heart receives love,
who opens her legs receives a Baby!

KHABARDAR SMS# 1289

KHABARDAR
Ap ko mutlah kia jata ha ka MATRIC k EXAMS khatam ho chuky hain or BOYS awaragi karian gy. Es leya GIRS apni BREAST, GAAND or CHOUT ko BOYS k HAAT, UNGLI or LUN ki pouch se dour rakhain or aikaly ghar se nikalty waqt kum se kum 1 CONDOM apny hand-bag main ly kar nikalian

Your Wife is really sweet

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“I am Sick, not coming on work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar again sent sms 2 boss:
“Now I am ok, Your Wife is really sweet

Ye Lo Tissue Paper Aur Apni Naak Saaf Kerlo

Larki Pehli Baar Larke k Saath Uski Car Main Drive Par Nikli

Wo Ek Sunsaan Road Se Guzarne Lagey Tou

Larki Ne Poocha :
Kia Tum Sirf Ek Haath Se Drive Kar sakte Ho ?

Larka Khushi Se Bola : Haan Haan Kion Nahi . . .

Larki : Theek Hai, Ye Lo Tissue Paper Aur Apni Naak Saaf Kerlo

Nai Tu Ek Aur Ho Gay Ga

Door Gaon Main

Raat Ko Jub..

Maa Baap Sotay Nahi…

To…

Bachay Kehtay Hain…

Soo Ja Bapoo

So Jaa..

Nai Tu Ek Aur Ho Gay Ga

patakhay SMS# 170

Child: Mom is bar saray patakhay hum is shop say lain gay,
Mom: Beta yeh tu girls hostel hai,
Child: Papa tu kahtay hain k sari phuljhariyan yahin rahti hain.

AUR MENE PRESS KER DIYA

Policman: JAIL main kese aye?

SARDAR: Aik larki interview le rahi thi,uske SEENE pe “PRESS”

AUR MENE PRESS KER DIYA.

Car Seat Belt

A Short Thing
It Gets Longer
When U Hold It
N Pass Between
Women Breasts
N Enters Into
A Hole
What Is It?
1 Min 2 Think!

Car Seat Belt
U Dirty Mind

Teacher Girl Se….

Teacher Girl Se….
Tum Kal School Keon Nahen Aae Thein?

Girl: Sir Mujhay Tattian Lagy Hoe Thein.

Teacher: To Kea Hoa? Hamain
TaTTay Lagay Hoay Hain
Ham To Roze Aatay Hain…!!!

May Kal Say Apnay Husband Ko

Lady: Doc Se, Mairy Boobs Bohat Chotay Hain, Kya Karon???
Doc: Aap Ko Rooz Mairy Paas Aana Hoga, May In Ko Choos Choos K Bara Kar Donga..
Lady: Ok, May Kal Say Apnay Husband Ko B Lay Kar Aaonge, Un Ke Lulli B Bohat Chote Hay 🙂

Wife: Underwear Daitay Hoey

Talaaq K Baad Husband & Wife Apna Samaan Alag Kr Rehay They …

Husband: Bra Daitay Hoey
Yeah Lo Apnay
“Doodh Ka Dhukkan“…

Wife: Underwear Daitay Hoey
Yeah Lo Apnay
“Murday Ka Kaffan“

First Ten Will Get Twins

SEASON DHAMAKA OFFER
Send Your Girlfriend To Me And Win A Baby
HURRY UP
First Ten Will Get Twins

Girl: I Can’t… He Iz Using My Hand!!!

A Girl Friend Tells Her Boyfriend Inside The Cinema Hall: Mairy Saath Wala MUTH Maar Raha Hay…
Boy Says: Ignore Him.
Girl: I Can’t… He Iz Using My Hand!!!